After 6 hours of talks today with our financial advisers we are now able to tell the world what they have suggested. The first suggestion is one that we have adopted immediately and that is that we advise all of our investors not to panic and remain calm or at least try to get control of themselves.
The advisers went on to suggest that there happily is a very simple resolution to this very minor hiatus in the liquidity of Cat World which is due in part to the enormous record beating amounts of money that we borrowed to launch Cat World, to say nothing of the rate at which we spent that money, happily all of these little setbacks can be resolved by borrowing even more money and that is exactly what we intend to do starting today.
With this sagely advice in mind we have launched the CW2F or Cat World 2 Fund which offers investors the opportunity to invest truly Madoffian amounts of cash secured against a 9th rights and share issue and our solemn promise that all investors will receive either their money back plus interest or a piece of some of the most exciting island and coastal real estate in the middle of the east, a place where they can retire in the sun and sand and watch the lagoon waters rising as global warming really begins to bite. Uh-ok!
Privately my advisers whispered to me – run Cat, RUN, as fast as you can!