As with all financial disasters, it is always the little man in the street who suffers most; and we here at Cat World don’t want that to happen this time! Not that we are suggesting that Cat World is in a disastrous financial state and facing almost immediate ruin, oh no we aren’t suggesting that at all!
But this time we are going to make sure that the little man is as safe as one of the houses, shops or office blocks that we have developed on our manmade lagoon islands. And how are you going to do that I hear you ask quite rightly?
Well for all small investors under 4ft 6ins tall we are going to offset the value of your risk according to your height then assemble all of these risks into several thousand Premium Financial Instruments and then once they are assembled we will roll them into a ‘Vertically Challenged Bond’ or VCB.
We will then offer our VCB bonds to a very select and exclusive group of investors through our Merchant Bankers. This group of very wealthy and exclusive individuals is known as the ‘Anyone Group’ and our Merchant Bankers have guaranteed that Anyone will be able to invest in our VCB bonds, and, furthermore they have also pledged that all taxpayers will be able to invest in this premium financial product the VCB bond twice allowing enormous rewards for us Cat World and the directors of our Merchant Bank.