Turning Unsolicited Mail In All Its Forms And Glory Into Profit

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For some time all humans with a letterbox have been annoyed by mail slipping through their doors and falling with a slimy thud onto the doormat and haven’t really done much about it.

They moan these days of course about all of the trees that go into a Ford, GM, Coca Cola or worst of all any charity you could possibly imagine (and probably some you can’t) direct mail campaigns but they just throw the rubbish away or light a fire with it.

Humans know that the endless gush of this type of crap can’t be stopped and these underhanded, slippery direct marketing agencies have grown fat on their nasty direct mail campaigns, as have the companies and charities who use them.

Now, as we know the same happens in the cyber world and humans the developed world over have all been getting their undergarments in several twists because of ‘spam.’

Spam is awful and distasteful and is quiet rightly vilified and although I have had a moan or two here on my blog about spam, this blog is not actually about ‘spam’ as such! Well it isn’t about the rubbish that can lengthen parts of your body, make you much smaller in other areas or indeed inform you of the death of a very rich Nigerian or Chinese person, who you have never heard of, and then tell you it is the fervent wish of the correspondent that you and he or she should carve up the deceased assets in unequal shares in your favour – oh no it isn’t.

This good looking Cat wants to tell you about a way to really annoy any of the growing number of companies that send out direct emails, they arrive because you, like me, have been dumb enough to order something from them in the past and now for reasons that only they seem to know they think that they can send you some “Important Communication” or the other.

So here is what you do, reply to the email and make sure that their email is in the body of your reply, and thank them so much of informing them that you have won one of their fine products.

Doing this will ensure that the marketing department is confused and if you are lucky even a little panicked and do please make sure that you reply nicely – after all you have won whatever you fancy from their product range and do I implore you be as extravagant as you possibly can be.

Just now I had an email from the local Apple store, I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t want it and so if they have decided to write to me it must be my lucky day and if it is my lucky day then it follows (surely) that I have won something.

So I replied nicely and said that I would be delighted to accept a new Apple Powerbook which though not as pretty as my beautiful G4 is sort of ok really especially if it is free and I also asked if they could throw in a new Apple iPad that would be exceptional because then I could read my wonderful book “Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary” on it, it is of course available in all ebook formats that matter and the ebooks can be bought here www.thecatsdiary.com.

Of course it goes without saying that I am looking forward to their reply and my winnings being delivered.

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