Oscar Wilde and Me

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Oscar Wilde knew a thing or two about journeys and diaries and was once over heard saying.

“I never travel without my diary, one should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

If Oscar was alive today I know in my paws that he would want to take my diary with him and he would have been clever enough to get it here Amazon.com though of course as a fellow author and genius he probably would have liked me to earn even more cash and order my masterpiece from my wickedly wonderful website or www www.thecatsdiary.com.

Of course I am not saying that my Diary would eclipse his – only that it is as well written.

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Trousers for Charity – Not Forgetting Shorts

After yesterday’s blog about the enormous number of Summer Gifts that I have been sent and my comments about the uselessness of Trousers and Shorts from a Cat’s perspective, which is frankly much reduced to a humans normally, unless of course we happen to be in a tree of on top of a kitchen cupboard.

Well you can rest assured that it wasn’t me that wasted them, I have been sending bumper parcels of those Trousers and Shorts to an African charity in the hope that they would do some good to your mankind, a selfless act (I thought – because I paid the shipping) that would be very well received by people who don’t have much and the sum total of that adds up to nothing.

Imagine my surprise then when the bumper parcels were returned with a very polite note saying that African charities prefer to receive only gifts of cash, because you can’t by a Kalashnikov AK-47 with either Trousers or Shorts or indeed any other weapon of choice in the bush.

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Summer Gifts Are Pouring In!

Summer gifts are pouring in at the moment, probably because it is Summer and I am a very worthy cause, just ask yourself this question if you doubt that, how many starving Africans take your money and gifts and then make to laugh? None right!

So, I would like to thank everyone who has been kind enough to send me a gift, but also offer this feline anatomical observation. Cat’s as a rule use four legs to get around on and so shorts and other types of garments designed for the two legged amongst us are pretty useless, this advice should especially apply to Carol of Surrey who I think may believe that I am a cross between Terry Pratchett’s “Amazing Maurice” and Dick Whittington’s Pantomime Cat!

On a personal level therefore “Carol no more shorts please and that especially applies to the purple plaid ones.”

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