Chinese UFO – An Apology (sort of)

On July 22nd this year I was minding my own business flying my private plane over China and unfortunately seem to have cause a bit of a stir for the poor little Cat eaters below! It seems as though quite a number of newly affluent Chinese peasants filmed me with their shiny new Japanese video and still cameras which were obviously hot of a near-by production line.

And to make matters worse a lot of scientists at a local observatory called the Purple Mountain Observatory took some snaps as well and then in spite of the amazing difficulties involved because of the draconian censorship laws that China has, have managed to post their video and indded the peasant’s video as well on YouTube.

You know YouTube it is that awful site that when you visit it for any reason downloads advertising tracking cookies to your hard drive and then reports back enormous quantites of your personal private information to the people paying for the ads, information like who you are, where you live, what programs you run, and how many hairs your Granny has on her chin as well I imagine.

Anyway I would like to apologise to the Chinese peasants, the people at the Purple Mountain Observatory together with the boffins at the Chinese Academy of Sciences who all had a bit of a fright and most of all to the boffins at the Purple Mountain Observatory and Chinese Academy of Sciences are going to study the out of focus video for the next six months.

Furthermore I would like to say to these misguided boffins don’t waste your time on the poor quality video of me whistling through your aerospace instead take that precious time and try and improve the quality of manufacture in your half asses factories because it doesn’t matter what you buy these days if it has “Made in China” smeared on it you can guarantee that it will break very quickly or in the case of my translator’s socks have holes in before he puts them on. What is it with the Chinese don’t they wear socks?

Just think if the scientists did what this sagely Cat suggests and improved the quality of the manufacture of things they so hurriedly make in China socks might come with just the regulation ‘one’ hole in each foot and the video the scientists and peasants shot recently would be in focus and you all might be lucky enough to see me waving from the cockpit of my lovely silver plane instead of making daft statements to the press and of course adding more rubbish to the dreadful YouTube site and lining Google’s pockets with even more of the folding stuff from the ads they show there and your personal private information they collect and (probably) sell without your knowledge.

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