Mind Control For Cats

Cat: “You’re not only a very good looking Parrot, I am sure that you’re very clever as well.”

Parrot: “Thanks, I think I am clever and not only a pretty boy!”

Cat: That’s what I thought and now this is your opportunity to prove that to the world.”

Parrot: That would be nice! Thanks!”

Cat: “My pleasure, ok, so all you have to do is to get just a little closer to the window and then show me just how clever you are by reaching up to the window catch and undoing it with your beak.”

Parrot: “Sounds like a plan!”

Cat and Parrot


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Two New Free Games On My Games Page

I don’t know how I do it, but I do! I have arranged for my boffins to set up two new free online games for you my lovely cuddly reader to play on my www.wickedly wonderful website so that you can while away your working day and return home fresh, relaxed and happy, aren’t I just the nicest Cat in the world? Of course I am.

The first new free online game is called Bloons

Here is what it’s about and what you have to do, which is frankly not much except enjoy.

Bloons are what Monkeys call Balloons – they’re daft aren’t they – but they did beat humans into space, though Cats got there first.

There is only one aim of the game and that is to shoot ‘Bloons,’ isn’t it nice when things are that simple? Oh by the way there are 50 levels and they do get a bit harder as you progress.

Here’s the Cat’s Tip: Hold down the mouse button and let go to shoot further.

Bloons Game   Grow Cube Game

The second free online game is called Grow Cube and I think it’s a bit strange – some might call it addictive though.

I personally think that Grow Cube is the first computer game that requires you to have a pencil and paper handy – you’ll need it I promise.

The devious devisers of the game say that, “all you have to do (understatement) is to add the right element at the right time other otherwise your cube isn’t going to grow.” You’ll get the hang of it all soon enough depending upon how clever you are of course!

Here’s my tip: Start with the man, and make lots of notes.

I hope that you enjoy both free on-line games and manage to to do just a small amount of work every so often when playing them.

To get to my games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website quickly just click here My Games Page to go straight to the latest free online game you would like to play simply click on its picture above, the pictures are rather clever links to my website, but then what do you expect from a rather clever Cat? Nothing less!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

You Probably Won’t find My Book Here

You probably won’t find my book store and that is a shame, but as the name of the shop suggests it is not the ‘right’ sort of book store.

Poor Wong

Poor Wong – he doesn’t have a great name does he?

The good news is that you can get my wonderful book here Amazon.com and as a matter of fact here as well www.thecatsdiary.com at my store on my www.wickedly wonderful website!

Technorati Tags:
, , , ,

Cats vs Fishermen

In a contest that involves wit, brains, guile and of course good looks a Cat will always beat a Fisherman.

And here is the proof. As you can see in the first photograph the Cat has found something interesting in the Fisherman’s nice shiny bucket, I was going to say that the Cat had found the Fisherman’s ‘tackle’ interesting but that just sounded weird!

Cat vs Fisherman 1

Very slowly, quietly and carefully the Cat does what cats do best, helps himself to something tasty and all while the idiot on the Quay is fiddling with his rod – mmh fishing terminology sounds just a little rude sometimes doesn’t it? But only if you don’t have pure thoughts.

Cat vs Fisherman 2

Which all goes to show that it isn’t only Dogs that drool while Cats rule is it!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , ,

Japan Earthquake – They Need Our Help Now

Japanese Quake

It’s odd you know that when the last Tsunami struck everyone around the world immediately opened their wallets and pocket books and asked where do we send the cash? So now when the disaster is just as bad why does it seem to me that the reaction is not the same. The press and almost every page you clicked onto on the net for years had “send money to help victims of the Tsunami” signs.

Just because Japan is a rich country or was until recently it doesn’t mean that they are suffering less than the unfortunate people who suffered last time. So my dear cuddly readers we have to send the Japanese some help asap.

If you do decide to help with your cash try to do so directly if you give it to most of the leading charities there is no guarantee that it will be used to help the people you want to send it to. Use the Japanese Embassies near you or a Japanese Bank that way you’ll know that the big charities haven’t taken their 40% for operating costs and then misdirect the funds you donated to some other project.

We must help these poor souls now.

Japanese Disaster

You can find a Japanese Embassy near you from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Japan list here Japanese Embassies. For local branches of Japanese banks your yellow pages is the best place to go.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , ,

My Latest Wonderful Game

You have to try my latest game it’s a Helicopter Game that I have just added to the games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com, the lads and I have been playing it nonstop for a day now.

Dave the Cat holds the record here for having travelled to the Moon which is 238,857 miles – ok he’s a bit of a big head, but if it is any consolation his right paw is definitely falling off – no I know I shouldn’t laugh!

Helicopter Game

This is a great game that’s easy to play – well I found it easy and so did Dave the Cat obviously, you just left click to go up and let go to go down.

I hope you enjoy it and do try to beat Dave the Cat’s record by oh say travelling to the Moon and back tee hee and don’t forget you just left click to go up and let go to go down let me know how you do won’t you so that I can rub Dave The Cat’s nose in it – no sorry I mean so that I can let Dave the Cat know how good you are… simply click here Helicopter Game and you will be sitting in your helicopter ready to play with your joystick – now why does that sound odd!


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tips For A Successful Meal Al Fresco – A Video

It is getting warmer at last and we’ll all be thinking about nipping outside for a meal or two.

Because our gardens can be wild unfriendly places with creatures to match I have prepared an educational video that can be used to ensure that when you are eating al fresco nothing spoils your enjoyment not even nature.

Watch our host Marcus the Cat demonstrate just what can happen to your al fresco meal if you don’t plan for all of the eventualities that nature can throw at you.

Do visit my www.wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com to watch this video and of course one or two more, or click this link The Cat’s Video Page.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , ,

English Cross Channel Attempt Ends Prematurely

Lionel the talented (some say, and some say showoff) ‘swimming Cat’ has prematurely called off his attempt to become the first Cat to swim the English Channel after just beginning his first training session in the Summerfields pool and café Hastings Sussex.

In a specially arranged training session, squeezed in between the under 10’s Cygnet Club’s and the over 60’s water aerobics, Lionel – the talented swimming Cat – had his first taste of a body of water bigger than his water dish and realised that he should apply his “enormous” talents to elsewhere.

It is not known as yet whether Lionel will be keeping his byline – ‘the talented swimming Cat’ although it does sound likely.

English Channel Attempt

If any organisation needs a special envoy or ambassador who has a marvellous opinion of himself that totally outstrips his abilities then do contact Lionel through this blog or directly to The Cat and we will pass on your details.

Obviously we have already been contacted by the ridiculous duke of York’s ’employer’ the UKTrade and Investment (UKTI) about an unpaid ambassador’s position. While being unpaid the expenses are pretty good and equate to around 4 million UK pounds a year, with obvious benefits such as first class travel, top quality hotels and the rest.

When contacted a senior government spin doctor said that “the only qualifications you have to have are to be arrogant, have a delusional belief in your own abilities and intelligence, a great sense of humour and know what’s best for British companies even if they don’t know. And of course if you have a German family background that wouldn’t hurt,” but quickly added that Lionel should “get in quick” because the PM, DC has been changing his mind a lot recently and the opening might close soon – “who knows.” He sighed.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , ,