A New Human Pastime?

Recently I saw this sign in Texas and was appalled.

A New Human Pastime

So I’m guessing that this new human pastime is going to overtake Paintball as the latest craze to get rid of pent up aggression. It seems a shame to me that no one thinks about the kid first though, I can’t imagine kids want to be dented in any way! Not only that judging by the portrait it looks as though everyone wants to pick on the fat kid as usual!

“Shame on you humans,” is all I can think of saying because for once I am ever so close to speechless. Happily I’m not completely speechless but when you think about it for me criticising humans is rather counter productive when one is trying to sell them one’s book, which you can get here Amazon.com and of course here on my www – Wickedly Wonderful Website www.thecatsdiary.com isn’t it?

So with the above in mind I think I will do what a lot of people have asked me to do over the years and shut the ‘f’ up. Personally I am still trying to work out what the ‘f’ in the last sentence stands for? To be honest it has always puzzled me. If any nice blog reader would be kind enough to tell me what the ‘f’ means in ‘shut the ‘f’ up’ I would be delighted to hear from them.

Maybe it’s a term of speech which I could use more often in my writing and indeed everyday life.

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Pardon?

The thought processes of people who not only create signs but also leave them lying around to confuse others is unfathomable.

It seems a shame to this intelligent and fabulously good looking Cat that so much time and effort is devoted to telling innocent law-abiding motorists what to do and what not to do.

Of course there are so many signs telling motorists what to do and what not to do that they seem to cancel each other out um… as this picture shows.

Pardon

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Shopping Advice In Vietnam

What can I say? This Cat is a nice polite Cat and frankly doesn’t really understand what the shop owner of this Hanoi store is suggesting.

Being an innocent is such a nice state of mind. Still if you want to try cock today then now you know where to go I am sure that in this store the idea of ‘personal shopper’ is concentrated on the very personal.

Shopping Advice In Vietnam

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The Chinese Don’t Know How To Make Electrical Goods & Their Soup Isn’t Any Better!

Oh look a story about China that slipped under the censor’s nose and beady eyes.

As my most dedicated readers and fans know China has agreed to ‘sponsor’ my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and in accepting their ‘sponsorship’ I have agreed to allow them to review all of my blog posts and delete the chapters dedicated to my travels in China from my wonderful book because it would have exposed too many home truths about the country where not only Dog and Cat are lunch menu items but also explain why anything made in China either is broken when it comes out of the box of doesn’t last more than a few weeks.

It’s sad to say but true all the same the Chinese unfortunately have no idea how to make electrical goods that last longer than a few days and as this picture of a menu in a Shanghai restaurant proves their Soup isn’t any better!

The Chinese Don t Know How To Make Electrical Goods But Mmh Their Soup

The Cat thinks its a terrible shame that the Chinese gave up knitting with Bamboo and started playing with semi-conductors and soldering irons!

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India’s Idea of Paradise

In a country where there are more people than flies, that can almost be smelt as you come into land you would expect one or two places to be little tiny picturesque oases of calm, cleanliness and beauty places that are for want of a better word – paradise.

Ladies and Gentlemen and of course dear cuddly readers I give you India’s idea of paradise – as the Indian sign says.

Actually I did discover what a dreadful place India was when researching my next blockbusting book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ happily the Indian Government has ‘sponsored’ the chapter and that is code for the fact that like the Chinese they are paying me a substantial sum to exclude the chapter from my book, happily they didn’t say anything about my blog and that means I can continue to bring you the pictures and stories that you won’t find in the guide books or the government tourism websites.

What a dreadful place India really is to consider a place ringed in razor wire and guarded by Kalashnikov toting guards paradise. If you look closely you will also see that the place has its own distinct aroma and for India a country that is ‘known’ for aromas that is saying something.

India s Idea of Paradise

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Illegal In Most States

The say that religion makes you a better, more moral person, but this sign surely tells a different story. Surely this sort of activity is illegal in most states?

Illegal In Most States

I am happy to say here that Cats like all other animals are not at all religious and are usually not at all welcome in places of worship no matter what god or idol they have been erected for and that is a great source of comfort and relief.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”