When Is A Site A Sight – When It is Under Surveillance Of Course Silly

I have seen some daft signs in my time but this one makes my cookie crumble, if you see what I mean!

Why would someone want to put CCTV in a wood? And where did they go to school? Are two of the questions that come to mind.

Still it;s a nice copse and if the CCTV is in colour then it probably makes attractive viewing, though I think we can rule out ‘interesting’ viewing don’t you dear reader?

The CCTV can’t have been installed to protect the trees can’t it? After all if you want to protect a tree you don’t hammer a six inch nail into it to hang a sign from do you?

You humans are definitely mad, well most of you, not my wonderfully cuddly readers of course, they are extremely smart because they have bought my books ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ by the hundreds of thousands and I have to say that I love them for it, thank you so very much.

When Is A Site A Sight  When It is Under Surveillance Of Course Silly

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The Latest Chinese Outrage – Err…Sorry Cuisine

Well I am back from skiing in the Bohemian Mountains after the weather let up enough to allow us to drive to where it was filling reservoirs instead of blocking roads if you see what I mean.

It’s nice to be back home and have a peaceful day instead of whistling across miles of snow trying to avoid the occasional lone Pine Tree and tired pensioner. This weekend I put my Paws up and ‘veged’ out in front of the box or as the automatic Lion spell checker would have it, I ‘vexed’ out in front of the box, that sounds as though I got mad watching TV but I didn’t I promise I was quite mellow in fact and watched one of my favourite movies ‘Babe’ which is, as you may now about a rather nice talking Pig and of course I enjoyed the movie, and its delightful little Pig actor (how many times can you say that in a sentence and get away without being sued?).

After the movie I did get mad or as Lion would call it ‘vexed’ and then a little ill when I was going through my email and saw what ‘a friend; in China had sent me, the picture below, the email said that ‘my friend’ knew I liked to publish strange pictures now and again and what could be stranger than a restaurant that served Pig’s Organ Soup.

“Poor Babe,” was my first thought and then I started to think about what they might serve in the restaurant and got a little sicker, after that I wondered what or who on Earth ‘Kway Chap’ is, so I looked it up on Wikipedia, I am pleased to say that it is safe to go back there now because they no longer carry pictures of Jimmy Wales the founder of Wikipedia and other flunkies begging for your cash, I’d give, honest they are all so ugly it just makes you wan tho keep you credit card in your wallet don’t you think.

Anyway I digress but then you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog if you didn’t know that The Cat who writes blogs and books digresses on occasions, Kway Chap is I discovered eventually on Wikipedia is a combination of thick, flat rice flour (Kuay Teow) noodles stir-fried in dark soy sauce with green leafy vegetables, Chinese sausage or unspecified Pig’s Offal and some fried lard. The article wasn’t that helpful but then if you spend so much time raising money you can be expected to make your website encyclopaedic can you?

So yes you heard it first here on the wonderfully clever Cat’s blog, the latest Chinese food craze that’s sweeping the land of people who can’t manufacture electronic devices or socks even though they are shown how to do it patiently by us in the West I is ‘Pig’s Organ Soup.’ The soup recipe from hell!

Yummy Pig s Organ Soup

You know I have a theory, if the Chinese concentrated on carefully making the goods that they manufacture over in slavelabourland instead of inventing ever more odd and unusual meals maybe the rubbish that they make and ship here to the West would last a little longer than the boxes they come in!

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Not The Journey Home

The plan yesterday was to get up nice and early, well 11.00 or so which is much earlier than we have been getting up recently and drive home. But there is one small problem with that plan. Can you spot it in the picture below?

Yes that is right whole Global Warming is frying other parts of the planet the Bohemian Mountains are covered in a blanket of all sorts of cold stuff. What a good job that this Cat has a glossy fur coat it is so useful when playing ‘where’s the road.’

So the delay in getting back to Cat World HQ means that we will just have to do a lot more skiing, partying and generally amusing and enjoying ourselves, sigh life can be so hard sometimes… I understand!

Snow Blocked Road


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Tired Of Turkey – Try Cat Sushi

Sushi Cat

I found the recipe below for Cat Sushi and thought that all of my wonderful and ultra cuddly Christmasy fans might like to make it while they are on holiday and still full of Turkey, the really great news is that you don’t need a ‘Cat’ as one of the ingredients for Cat Sushi.

You will need a tiny bit of artistic flair and hands unused to handling large hammers, steel pressing machinery and other tough tools so I understand if you decide give this recipe a miss.

Cat Sushi

So if you are serious about creating a masterpiece in Sushi which as a lucky coincidence would have it is also a portrait of me please (I beg you) read the complete instructions before starting it will help both you and me because you will get the recipe right first time and not end up covered in Seaweed and I, thankfully, won’t have to repeat myself or clarify any perceived anomalies.

For one roll of sushi, you will need

A little more than one piece of Nori (Nori is the Japanese name for edible seaweed)

Some sushi rice around 6 tablespoons full

Black Sesame Powder

Canned Tuna (Tomato flavoured) to make the orange colour

Pickled ginger – for the pink colour

Soy sauce – for the brown colour

Cut you Nori in half, one bit is used to wrap around the outside of the sushi roll.

Sushi 1

After that cut the other half of the seaweed into four equal pieces (not lengthwise to make four long strips but the other way to make the shape in the picture below).

Next you need to colour the rice. Do this by mixing some rice with whatever you’re using to colour your rice in a bowl. For each of the colours, you’ll only need about 2 large tablespoons of rice.

Now you can begin shaping the Sushi roll

First, make mini rolls using the small pieces of nori which we cut from the second half of the seaweed sheet. As a guide each roll should be 1/8th of the size of the original Seaweed sheet.

Carefully place a small amount of rice on the edge or the Seaweed and roll it up to make a thin roll. You are going to need 3 rolls of white rice and one roll of pink which is for the Cat’s mouth and you will need to make two of the white rolls smaller than the white and the pink ones by using less rice and rolling up tightly of course.

Sushi 2

Now because Cat’s noses are smaller, we make need to make one roll a lot thinner do this if you use a little Black Pepper to colour the rice it will look a lot more like a Cat’s nose – a sort of light brown colour.

Sushi 3

Now slice one of the white rolls and the pink rolls in half and carefully place the half sheet of nori onto your Sushi mat lengthwise, as we will be rolling ‘sideways.’

Spread some white, orange and black rice onto the nori in the pattern shown in the picture above. Make sure that the width of the black and orange stripes is the same as those of the semicircle rolls you made above and of course the white stripe in the middle should also be the same width.

Sushi 4

Place the two white semicircle rolls facing upwards onto the red and black lines. Fill the area between them with white rice and then place another layer of rice above this (obviously I didn’t put the layer of rice on in the picture above, so the nose ended up on the eyes).

Place the dark brown ‘nose’ roll in right in the centre of the layer of rice.

Sushi 5

Place both of the pink semicircles on top of the ‘nose’ facing downwards as shown. Then put a layer of rice over and around that so that the middle bit is a bit like a round mountain of rice.

Roll up the sushi using the mat then slice it up with a very sharp knife. If you need to, give the sushi a bit of a ‘massage’ to get it into the right shape.

Cut thin strips of nori and place them on the Sushi to make whiskers.

Using the two small white rolls from before, cut each into the same thickness as the Cat Sushi for the ears. then place two ears on each Cat Sushi and “hey presto” as rabbit interfering Magicians say – you are done and you will either have a tasty mess or with any luck a plateful of Cat Sushi. Do think of me when you are eating the good looking ones won’t you!

A HANDY TIPS

1. – If you are having trouble making clean cuts of your Sushi try this little tip. Moisten your knife with a mixture of water and Vinegar.

2. – Always cut Sushi quickly with one stroke.

3. – Your life will be easier if you wipe any sticky stuff off your blade after every cut.

For the more ambition Sushi makers.

I thought that you might like to see what one of my dear cuddly readers gave me for lunch the other day – “mmh mmh” was all this writer of masterpieces of feline literature could say but then I have heard it is rude to talk with ones mouth full!

Tom and Jerry sushi

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HAPPY NEW YEAR from The Cat

Hello to all my lovely cuddly readers. I thought that I would wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year and let you know that I am still skiing in the Bohemian Mountains, enjoying lots of rest, comfort and everything else that a very hard working and successful Cat should.

As I am on holiday I think that my blogs will be a little short for a few more days but I am sure that you understand because you are all so kind.

I thought that you might like to see a picture of me in the snow, but as I posted it up I suddenly realised that I can’t actually see me, I must have slipped out of the picture or behind a rock while Ginger was saying “back, back, left, left, no left a bit more and back.” You wait until I see him this morning!

Snow in the Mountians


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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