Poor translation

Mmh Dancing “trippingly” they have such a way with words in China or do they?

You know I think I have seen the phrase to “dance trippingly” before on a different sign, which either means that the Chinese translator who translated the pure rubbish below was used to create the other sign I have seen (though where?) or there are a couple of Chinese words that when translated into English become “dance trippingly?”

Dancing  trippinly they have been learning from China

But what do they really mean? I can’t think, can you dear cuddly reader? Does it mean that we are going to glide across the floor, or is it code for the invasion?

Who knows what a nation who don’t use capital letters or full stops can get up to?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Eyelash horror

Well I m not giving them any

I saw this sign and thought that is it one of the most dreadful things, announcements and practices I have ever heard of.

Don’t get me wrong I am all for beauty and I really enjoy my own personal ‘mirror’ time, but surely there should be limits to what humans are allowed to do in their quest for beauty.

But using Cat eyelash extensions takes the Custard Cream (biscuit) and after a long and pleasant study of my eyelashes during today’s mirror time I have to say that although my eyelashes are much like me – very good looking, they are a bit on the short side, so how many Cat Eyelashes does a humans need for an extension?

Makes you think, then shudder doesn’t it?


ARE YOU READY AND STRAPPED IN FOR THE CAT’S BIG ANNOUNCEMENT NEXT WEEK? I HOPE SO! IT IS GOING TO BE SO BIG THAT I AM ALMOST TEMPTED TO TELL YOU NOW, BUT I PROMISED I WOULDN’T DARN IT!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Newspapers print too much football news in England

English newspapers believe that sport helps to sell newspapers and it probably does, but sadly they seem to think that there is only one sport – football and tend concentrate on it to the exclusion of all other sport.

As this picture from today’s Independent online (a national newspaper in the UK) proves click here and have a gasp for yourself.www.independent.co.uk

Too much football in England

It is a shame that there isn’t much coverage given to other sports in England which are just as popular and far more exciting, like oh! Say Motor Racing and if they have to publish so much rubbish about football and indeed footballers may be the newspapers could use the right column headlines? Just a thought!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

And now to pay the rent – sorry about this but if you click one of these little pictures someone sends me cash and that means I can keep my blogs going, seems like a good deal to me!














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Well at least it omits the word ‘DANGER’

One of the least attractive features of the English countryside is the number of pointless road signs and indeed signs in general.

The single worst aspect of this fact is unfortunately as England has become, daily it would seem, a bigger and bigger ‘Nanny State’ local governments and literarily anyone who has spare cash to burn has erected a sign.

There is, as you can see from this one below, little point to the signs which usually state the obvious (or “bleeding obvious” as I heard the Vicar say).

Currently the valiant, but useless Don (Quixote) Cameron, Prime Minister of the UK has said that his government will do everything they can to stamp out useless signs and I expect there is a sign posted on a billboard somewhere saying just that!

You don t say


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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It seems like a week for picking on India – cont’d!

The advertising industry in India is in what you might, if you were being more than generous, call “it’s infancy and should be cut some slack,” but if you said that surely wouldn’t you just be either wrong or offering an excuse for downright lies especially in this case!

Indian advertising legal decent honest and truthful

“Magic bed sheets” indeed!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Automation goes too far in China

Well would you credit it the Chinese, famous for their love of production lines and automation have finally come up with the automated creation of children. A process that obviously takes all of the pain, moaning and groaning out of conception, pregnancy and giving birth.

From concept to conception Yuxian China

And by the looks of it you can watch TV as your new born is delivered which is nice, it will help pass the time, though I do wonder what they were thinking about when they added the ‘lobby’ switch!

Oh come on what am I saying, I ‘wonder’ about the all the switches, although the TV one is ok I suppose if you like that sort of thing. But then you have to think to yourself do the silly sods think that instead of watching TV while arranging a birth you should broadcast it.

By flicking that switch does it mean you go ‘live’ to the nation? Well I don’t know do I! I’m just a Cat happily and don’t understand humans, especially their odd cousins on the other side of the Great Wall.

One thing you can say about the Great Wall and its builders is that they really knew what they were doing keeping the sods on the ‘other’ side of it, didn’t they?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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I promise you I didn’t make this up

I promise you I didn’t make this up, photoshop, manipulate, alter, or change this imagine in any way whatsoever. It is just how the idiot Indians sign wrote it.

Yes that’s right, the nation who says that it’s first language is English managed to come up with the strangest name for the undercover police department of the Indian town of Alappuzha and honestly they did that all on their own, silly sods!

I promise you I didn t make this up India

It occurred to me that you might like to know more about Alappuzha, the place the local government call the “Venice of the East,” a quote that they stole from the English explorer and Tiger murderer Lord Curzon, but then again you might not!

Lord Curzon Hunting 1901

If you do then here is a link Venice of the East. If you don’t I understand completely and we’ll move on.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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India where anything can happen

I wonder if Monkey’s have a similar sign somewhere?

India where anything can happen

In any civilised country they would ensure that the terrace is fenced off from the Monkeys, but that would be too much for the country that believes it is going to be a world leader one day, all of which goes to show that the Indians are as daft as the Chinese doesn’t it?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Legalise lost in translation from the original Turkish

Well here it is the translators and the signwriters have got together and come up with the perfect contract which combines one of the worst translations in the history of mankind and enough legalise to sink a moderately prices super yacht .

As the last sentence suggests I think we should call this masterpiece of nonsense a “fool service” contract don’t you?

Fool service contract

Just incase you are wondering, the Russian translation is just as bad as the English and I rather think that the original Turkish wasn’t up to much in the first place son’t you?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Evidence of the recession a la France

We all know that fiscal this and budgetary that are tight, goodness our respective (though not respectable) governments around the world tell us that everyday even though we don’t need telling because the evidence is in our pocketbooks already.

But in France things seem to have got much worse all of a sudden. The picture below shows the latest form or public transportation being pressed into service now that the French can’t afford to replace their ageing buses, a second world war tank.

French Public transport Omaha Beach

Goodness knows exactly what they will use instead of the Paris Metro, stay tuned in and I will let you know as soon as I find out! I have to say that the speculation is delicious and my money is on Elephants.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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