Penrith – where men’s dreams can come true!

Sucked off

A doggie friend of mine sent me the picture above and because Teagan is a ‘nice’ friend she didn’t want to use this picture on her blog because her blog is about walks in the lovely Dorset countryside and all sorts of other gentle country practices.

As you know if you are a dear cuddly reader my blog is a little different to Teagan’s and I like this sort of thing – no silly not the practice advertised on the sign but pictures which demonstrate signwriter’s mind fade and that can make you laugh at other’s silliness.

Incidentally, Penrith (the town mentioned in the railway station sign) was the one of the locations for a marvellous movie ‘Withnail and I’ if you haven’t seen it you should and soon, it is in my opinion one of the funniest movies ever made.

Withnail and I

To read more about there movie have a look at Wikipedia here Withnail and I on Wikipedia and if you want to just take my word for granted then you can buy a copy of the movie here at good old Amazon.com Withnail and I at Amazon it will make a great Christmas stocking filler or just a little reward to yourself for being one of the nicest people you know!

Mind you if you want to help me earn a crust or Prawn then do click the picture link below which will take you to Amazon.com. In fact it will take you to the most economic (cheapest) copy I could find of this must have movie. Obviously there is no pressure to click the picture link, it isn’t as though your dear good friend The Cat is dying for Prawns, but they are like him – rather nice! Aren’t they and everyone deserves a treat sometimes don’t they?

Lastly if you want to visit Teagan’s blog here is a link Teagan Times I think that Teagan’s blog has some of the nicest pictures of a black Spaniel you can find and some interesting facts about the countryside in Dorset, all of which makes her blog a rather good read.

Gosh that was a lot of links. I don’t like to add a lot of links to my blog as you know so this must be a special edition. The main reason I don’t add many links is that writing in HTML gives me a headache but today is a special case. Of course I have checked all of the links to make sure they work, except the buy from Amazon one and the only reason for doing that is that I have a feeling that a Cat could get himself into hot water by clicking the nice picture to see if it works and getting paid for it.

I believe that was a practice that hit Google and their pay for click ads a few years ago when millions of Chinese, and other shady characters earned a fortune by just clicking ads. Naughty Tiddlies!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Birthday Warning!

Birthday Present

Even though my local post office has had to hire extra staff to handle the birthday cards, parcels and presents that are arriving by the container load, I thought I would remind you all that it is my birthday soon!

November 17th is also big day here in the Czech Republic and especially Prague because, happily, when the Czechs decided to celebrate my birthday with a holiday the date also coincided with something called the Velvet Revolution.

Velvet Revolution

The main reason for mentioning my birthday is that the post office here, or Ceska Posta, as they misspell both Czech and Post when they write their name in their language have asked me to tell all of my fans that they sadly can’t guarantee to deliver all of my cards and parcels by the great day and furthermore they asked me if I could think of some way that my fans could do to demonstrate just how much they adore me without wrapping it or popping it into an envelope.

Happily they were talking to a very clever and resourceful Cat and I have come up with a wonderfully neat way for all of my fans, even those who have already sent a gift, to show just how much they love me.

Al you have to do to show how much you love me is to simply go to Amazon.com and buy one or more of either or both of my masterpieces of feline literature because after a very serious renegotiation of my royalties I will now get as much as my publisher was earning from the enormous sales.

Don’t worry if you have already followed my advice in the past and bought multiple copies of my masterpieces of feline literature, because this time you will be properly rewarding my genius.

Getting Out Cover
So thanks in advance for all of those orders and don’t forget you don’t have to go to Amazon.com you can nowadays go to an Amazon.something in your area to get copies of my books or you can just click on this link www.thecatsdiary.com and you’ll be whisked to my shop. It’s a great place where you can spend as long and as much as you like as often as you like until your credit card provider complains.

The Cat on iPad


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Congratulations to the Chinese

After many years of research, spying on every other nation and stealing secrets from the west the Chinese finally perfect balderdash!

Chinese Perfect Doggrel

Just imagine the mess – they are decorating a toilet, mind you I like the colour, what do you think it’s called ‘Party Red?’ I think so.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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There’s a lot of things to like about Bangkok, this isn’t one of them!

For some reason I find the name of this massage place just a little off putting don’t you? And to be honest it isn’t just the name. I loathe massages, I always imagined a massage to be a gentle sort of experience but I had one recently and got beaten up by this small person who was barely able to cast a shadow over me! But she went at my back until bruises appeared.

I love Bangkok s Miss Puke

By the way have you seen those Thai places that have a large fish tank in the window usually and for some reason known only to who knows what fools put their feet into them and let the fish nibble them.

Aren’t these place just a little more than gross? I wonder if the idiots that dip their tootsies into these tanks know that they run the risk of catching more than a candid snap?

There are all sorts of diseases that can be transferred from one dirty pair of feet to another including HIV. Excuse me while I puke and hope to miss creating a Miss Puke I believe!

Fish cleaning feet

Seems a bit daft to me to deliberately go out of your way to get into harms way if you see what I mean! Humans you are mostly harmless but usually bonkers.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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