The Cat

Apr 062017
 

Unfortunate Life Style

‘The’ store for nonsense furniture, fixtures and fitting that takes interior design down to a level never previously experienced.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Apr 052017
 

Unusual puds

I believe it comes on four plates, with custard.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Apr 042017
 

Under repair and water

By the looks of it the ground needs a lot of attention.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Apr 032017
 

A special place in Newfoundland!

A special place in Newfoundland

And now for the dildo joke!

A young man started work at a Sex shop after a long time of being unemployed. After several days his boss told him that he had been called away to head office for the afternoon and the young man will be in charge until he gets back.

The young man is very reluctant to look after the shop on his own, but following his boss’s compliments about how good a worker he has been and what a fast learner he is, and the fact that it’s a Wednesday and Wednesday afternoons are very quiet the young man eventually agrees to look after the shop.

For most of the afternoon the shop is empty, but twenty minutes before closing time a white woman comes in.

She asks. “How much is the white dildo?”

He answers. “$35.”

Then she asks. “How much is the black one?”

The young man replies. “$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one.”

After thinking for a while she says. “I think I’ll take the black one. I’ve never had a black one before!” She pays him, and she leaves happy with her purchase.

At ten minutes before closing time a young black woman comes in and asks “How much is the black dildo?”

The young man replies. “$35.”

After thinking for a while the black woman asks. “How much is the white dildo?”

The young man smiles and says. “$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one.”

The black woman thinks for a while and says. “Hmmm…I think I’ll take the white one. I’ve never had a white one before.” She pays him, and leaves happy with her purchase.

One minute before closing time a very attractive blonde woman enters the shop and asks. “How much are your dildos?”

The young man confidently replies. “$35 for the white, $35 for the black.”

After thinking for an instant the young blond woman asks. “Hmmmmm….how much is that tartan one up there on the shelf?”

The young man thinks for a moment and then says. “Well, that’s a very special dildo… it’s $165.”

The young blond woman thinks for a while and then slowly says. “I’ll take the tartan one, I’ve never had a tartan one before.” She pays for the dildo and leaves very happy with her purchase.

After the she leaves the young man’s boss returns as the young man is cashing up and asks. “How did you do while I was gone?”

The young man very happily says. “Oh I did really well for a Wednesday afternoon, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo.

“That’s great said the boss.”

“But I have a confession to make!”

Oh yes, what’s that asks the boss, looking around for evidence of a minor catastrophe.

“Um!” Begins the young man. “I sold your thermos flask! But I got $165 for it!”


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 312017
 

A Stop Sign For Cowboys In Wyoming

Of course!

Thanks to the clever people in Wyoming who use this sign a lot.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 302017
 

First before the picture a little bit about Wales.

Wales looks like a small bump in the middle of England that makes England look pregnant and is roughly the size of um… Wales!

The used to have heavy industry in Wales but during the dreadful dark days of Mrs. Thatcher reign she closed all of that.

Most of Wales is ‘unspoilt’ a word that is used in England to describe a form of natural dereliction caused by places losing vast numbers of jobs when some evil old cow closes the industries.

A lot of Wales is remote and beautiful.

So that’s enough, except to tell you that I often used to go to Wales and managed to come back every time.

Not all of Wales is backward and forgotten, this for example is a Welsh cash machine!

A Welsh cash machine

Oh one last thing about Wales, the welsh don’t like people making fun of them… gulp!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 292017
 

The Swiss sign for it beats me

The Swiss sign for… it beats me?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 282017
 

A new fashion from China

Yes this sign is from China of course, but you have to remember that their translations are only as good as the ever dreadful google cam make them. Having said that I like this one it’s almost lyrical.

Best of all the sign is ever so shiny, well in places!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 272017
 

Will the herpes be chopped

Well at least the herpes is aromatic!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Mar 242017
 

Wine for the bigest connoisseurs

If you really like wine then I understand that there is an American winemaker who produces a full range of full bodied wines for the connoisseur.

I’d like to thank big Helen for showing me the label, she has downed a few wines in her time, I can tell you, and she doesn’t stop there!

Can’t say I would pick this up in a supermarket, but then the bottle looks rather heavy. And of course not being a drinker the stuff would be wasted on me!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”