All posts by The Cat


Does anyone else like Kippers? Actually maybe I should rephrase that, does any one else know what Kippers – answers on this blog please.

Next week I am travelling all the way from Prague to Northumberland just to get some. There is a little place in Caister a lovely town on the Northumberland coast just down the road from where they filmed Harry Potter and the Legend of the Dimwits or whatever it was called.

In this little restaurant you can eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I intend to do just that they are so fresh and that is because they are caught off the coast, split and smoked next door – divine.

Then I will drop down to Newcastle and have some Stotties, Baked Beans and Sausages and remember my best friend who used to share his Stotties, Baked Beans and Sausages with me a while ago.

I love going to the north of England it is so much nicer than the south, especially London which is polluted, over crowded and smelly.

Winning Damages Against Google

I want to be like F1 driver Rubens Barrichello who won $500,000 against Google when they hosted fake online profiles of the Brazilian on Google’s social network Orkut.

So if you are in Brazil or anywhere else please get busy creating fake Cat profiles, obviously we can’t split the money I make but I am sure that you will just be pleased for me that I have had a nice little earner, frankly it couldn’t happen to a nicer Cat could it?

I Admit Now I Was Confused

Yes I admit it now, I was wrong but when you think that you have been described as the perfect Christmas ‘git’ you would get a little uppity wouldn’t you? What I didn’t realise was that the lady who apparently is the soft toy executive at the large toy corporation I was in a meeting with was describing the soft toy that they plan to make of me as part of the merchandise for the film of my book and that it would be the “perfect Christmas gift!”

I have to say I agree with her, it is going to be a wonderful children’s gift for the holidays now I know what she is talking about.

It looks like my PR people might have to do a bit of work on my image now though. I can’t honestly say I didn’t mean to bite the soft toy executive because I did. Well wouldn’t you get annoyed if someone who you hardly know called you a git?

Even I wait for a few days so that I get to know people before I do!

A Wall or a Fight?

It looked as though I had either walked into a wall or had a big fight today when I first looked in the mirror and that was because my ear was bent almost double. Happily neither was the case, I suppose that I had just slept funny, you know when you have pillow hair or creases all over your face from the bed clothes.

But I am really annoyed, having a bent ear and looking just slightly less than gorgeous spoilt the moment. Don’t you like to look in the mirror? I know I do, and that first glance in the morning just makes my day for the rest of the day!

My Back Catalogue

I know that there has been a lot of talk about me releasing my back catalogue of classic (though dreadfully out of date) recordings just like The Beatles are reported to be considering but have denied that they will be doing so.

So I have decided to give my side of the story and what I have to say now is this. Although, just like The Beatles, my back catalogue has been carefully and expensively digitally re-mastered this has been done for no reason what so ever in particular, just for pleasure in fact.

Like The Beatles I don’t intend to cash in on the pent up demand for my wonderful digitally re-mastered recordings and I am appalled to hear that some tin pot outfit in Santa Cruz is selling these little wonders at the ridiculous price of just 25 cents, furthermore I would like to state that if my record company were to release our marvellous digitally re-mastered catalogue officially it would cost at least five times more I can promise that now.

My own company Cat Corps have been in negotiations with various web based digital music stores and to date they just won’t agree to give us not only what we want but what we think we deserve, which is too much. You have to remember that my entire back catalogue of wonderful music was carefully written by others and it costs an absolute fortune to keep that secret oops!

Finally I have to say that the boys in the band and I were hoping that the release of our terrific music digitally was going to keep us in our old age at a time when it is difficult for us to make music or though some would say that I have been doing that ever since I went solo with with my progressive rock band Chicken Wings.