It is crazy at the moment – but then it was me and not an assistant who signed up to be a superstar wasn’t it.
My agent the great Mr. T. A. Leibowitz, ‘call me Todd’ has just sent me a picture of my book advertised on the street in New York – are you impressed? I know I am, look at my bone structure, poise, elegance and stance, I am, I have to admit one extremely good-looking animal.
Then you have to add the facts that I am extraordinarily intelligent, absurdly rich and incredibly famous and you get someone who is a true star and so very special.
I have decided to help little Nicole Kidman regain her fame, she came to me in floods of tears earlier today, poor lamb, apparently the Los Angeles Times which as we all know is one of the biggest mouthpieces of Hollywood, reported that she, bless her little cotton socks, was no longer a star! Don’t you just love her and of course pity her!
I have started to collect ‘sayings’ you know the type of thing “a stitch in time saves nine!” Stitches I presume.
The other day I found myself saying one – “when the shoe is on the other foot – I always fall over!” I don’t know if I got it exactly right but that is the nice things about saying you can personalise them, can’t you?
I thought it would be nice to share a picture of my Mum with you! I think this is her.
Hello Everyone, guess who has been invited to an Oscar party little old me! No I couldn’t believe it either but come February 2010 me The Cat will be drinking Champagne and munching Caviar (the black stuff only please) and generally being a star.
So if you are off to the 82nd Oscars then it is just possible that we might brush fur coats but probably only mine will be real.
Here is a picture of the Oscars that I am going to win in the future.
Well the Cat is now where he thinks he should be, starring in Google Wave’s preview. But then The Cat thinks that he should star in everything!
Does anyone else like Kippers? Actually maybe I should rephrase that, does any one else know what Kippers – answers on this blog please.
Next week I am travelling all the way from Prague to Northumberland just to get some. There is a little place in Caister a lovely town on the Northumberland coast just down the road from where they filmed Harry Potter and the Legend of the Dimwits or whatever it was called.
In this little restaurant you can eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and I intend to do just that they are so fresh and that is because they are caught off the coast, split and smoked next door – divine.
Then I will drop down to Newcastle and have some Stotties, Baked Beans and Sausages and remember my best friend who used to share his Stotties, Baked Beans and Sausages with me a while ago.
I love going to the north of England it is so much nicer than the south, especially London which is polluted, over crowded and smelly.
I want to be like F1 driver Rubens Barrichello who won $500,000 against Google when they hosted fake online profiles of the Brazilian on Google’s social network Orkut.
So if you are in Brazil or anywhere else please get busy creating fake Cat profiles, obviously we can’t split the money I make but I am sure that you will just be pleased for me that I have had a nice little earner, frankly it couldn’t happen to a nicer Cat could it?
This is the way that they deal with Mice in Armenia!