Oct 052011
 

As the title says I thought I would offer a little light relief from my book launch, and I have some time before I have a chat with a nice lady from a media outlet in Seattle so here is a picture I saw the other day and thought to myself “which one are they visiting?”

Which one are they visiting

You humans really are ‘adorable’ and when I use that would I really me simple.

The book launch is going well, as I said above it’s busy but they don’t happen often and neither do colds what a shame that both came around at the same time for me this year!

Have you ordered your copy of my latest peerless masterpiece of feline? No! Well do because I don’t want to ask myself in a few weeks time “was it worth sneezing over so many members of the public at book signings and annoying sound engineers in TV studios?”

If you haven’t ordered your copy of my latest book The Cat’s Travelogue there is no better place than Amazon and you can do that using my handy link below although I have to say that my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com is as good but you can’t buy a toaster and my book there.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , ,

Jun 082011
 

I have often wondered where lies come from, who invented them and so on and so forth. I even watched the dreadful film by that awful idiot Ricky Gervais but sadly failed to find out where lies came from or in that case be entertained at all but that is beside the point of course.

So where do lies come from? Well I think I have the answer. I got my driver to follow the truck in the picture and guess what lies come from Luxembourg. I would have thought France or Germany both countries and their people have been known to tell some enormous porkies in the past but I didn’t think that little Luxembourg could be capable of inventing lying did you?

Lorry Load of Lies


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jun 012011
 

Kung Fu Panda 2 007

As a lot of us know Hollywood’s latest animated blockbuster from Dreamworks, the Chinese themed Kung Fu Panda II, opened in the US and China at the weekend and it by all accounts did rather well, which is nice.

The first instalment (imaginatively entitled Kung Fu Panda II – but with one less ‘I’) broke box office records in China three years ago but was criticised in some quarters as western exploitation of Chinese culture.

Do you agree with with this Cat and think that the Chinese have at least two faces and are being rather silly about saying that Kung Fu Panda I or indeed Kung Fu Panda II are “western exploitation of Chinese culture!” After all what would you call making all of the goods that the West use everyday like iPads, iPhones, Computers that even aren’t Apple ones, TV’s and of course so much more if it isn’t Chinese exploitation of Western culture.

To say nothing of the fact that almost everything made in China is badly made, falls apart as soon as the product is removed from the safety of its protective packaging, and of course that most of the counterfeit DVD’s and other pirate products are made in China and sold in the West.

All of which I am sure means that the Chinese have a sauce pointing a finger at the West for exploitation and should be the last to lecture the West about exploitation especially when they now have jobs that used to be Western jobs and the families who relied on them are flat broke. Surely the Chinese take the biscuit for exploitation – right out of hungry Western mouths in fact.

Changing the subject for a moment I would just like to thank a record number of people for buying my latest book and masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ during June, it is obviously perfect reading for the Summer and I hope that you enjoy it while you are tanning on a beach somewhere very warm.

One thing I would say on the subject of buying books – well I promised my translator I would – is that copies of his ebooks are available on Amazon.com and all other great retailers so when you go to Amazon.com to buy my book or to my www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com do have a look at John Woodcock’s books ‘Trams of Prague’ and ‘AstroMouse,’ they are really rather good (he made me put that bit in but after reading them I agree).

The other thing I would say is that avid readers of my books are in for a real treat very soon my next book ‘The Travelogue – A Cat Against The World’ is soon to be available in the same great bookshops and websites as ‘Getting Out’ isn’t that wonderful?

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

May 242011
 

My dear lovely cuddly readers I am afraid that I have to insist that you watch the ‘Ultimate Dog Tease video which I have just put up on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

To make it really very easy for you I have added a link that will whisk you to the correct page here Ultimate Dog Tease.

This video is not only one of the funniest videos I have seen it makes even the hardest hearted Cat feel sorry for at least one dog in the world.

Dog Tease

Who’d have thought that one day I would say “poor Doggie?”


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

May 242011
 

As you may or may not know my second book is a Travelogue, and I have to say if you haven’t heard that I’m writing a Travelogue then my PR people are for the chop – but I digress – sorry.

Back to the point of this little blogette for a moment, as you may or may not know my second book is a Travelogue and it’s going to be a wonderful bestseller as usual and of course will be available in all good bookshop (and some not quite as good probably) and Amazon.com in paper and electronic form.

When researching my marvellous ‘must read’ of a Travelogue I travelled the world visiting interesting places, dreadful places and really disgusting places like oh of the top of my head err India!

As you may or may not know India is a rapidly developing country, it’s rapidly developing into something awful like, um Pakistan! It’s a land of corruption, desperate inequality, squalor, child labour and according to the BBC a ever growing practice of female focticide or to be more abrupt, the killing of baby girls.

The most recent census conducted in 2011 shows a serious decline in the number of girls under the age of seven in India – activists fear eight million female foetuses may have been aborted in the past decade because Indian families only want male children.

Sadly this sort of disgusting activity seems to be prevalent in what are known as ‘developing’ countries, China manages to stay well ahead of India in the baby girl killing states but then they have had more practice.

Indians only really started killing their baby daughters in large numbers in the sixties when dowries were outlawed by the government. Before then a daughter was the family’s prized possession because she would fetch a good price on the open marriage market but these days sadly she won’t.

So one disgusting practice was replaced by another but the one thing you learn when you are travelling ‘developing’ countries that have large populations is that life is cheap and if you are a defenceless child your life is more than cheap it’s worthless.

Indian Mineworker

Here are a couple of my holiday snaps from one of the places I visited in India, the 10 year old lad in the picture above gave up school aged 6 so that he could work in the coal mines and earn a wage. Today working conditions are “good for him” he said, a few years ago he was digging coal out of the earth with his bare hands now he is just bagging it above ground.

My second picture shows how the coal mine employes only the most rigorous safety standards, the walkway is made from ‘real wood’ and hasn’t collapsed in weeks.

Indian Mine

As you can see from my holiday snaps travelling the world broadens your mind mainly because you have to cram in more horrors.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Apr 152011
 

Signs sometimes don’t mean what they say but they can be a lot of fun all the same!

Be brave Butt It Will Hurt



About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Apr 132011
 

So yesterday April 12th was International Day for Street Children and I bet you didn’t notice! I have to say that I didn’t and sadly I rather think that the title ‘International Day for Street Children’ isn’t going to help it catch on in the public imagination or indeed be remembered – it isn’t like ‘President’s Day,”Thanksgiving’ or the dreaded ‘Tax Day’ is it?

What made me sadder was the small amount of publicity about the ‘event’ and that it seemed to focus just on two cities full of street children because there are so many all over the world.

The cities mentioned were no surprise to this Cat because he has visited both while writing his next book a ‘Travelogue’ they might surprise you though – well one anyway.

The first city featured in the ‘International Day for Street Children’ launch – this is the first International Day for Street Children actually – was the filthy slum called Delhi.

No surprises there of course Delhi is a dreadful place, the super rich Indians and the caste system conspire against most of the citizens of Delhi and indeed India in general; add to that the fact that the Indian government is one of the most corrupt in the world and you have the perfect place to have poverty and everything that is so err…’Indian.’

Street Kid Delhi

Of course you are going to get street children and there is no point embarrassing Indians and speaking out loud about it because they not only have the ex-empire to blame instead of themselves they also have been net beneficiaries of enormous amounts of charity cash to help them sort out problems like street children and they haven’t managed yet.

What was surprising was to see photographs, in the launch pack, of street children in Glasgow Scotland, part of Great Britain a country, which is supposed to be one of the most developed and prosperous countries on the planet who ‘graciously’ gives aid to China and India and other countries and is spending over 100 million pounds sterling on a royal wedding.

What a silly little pompous country Great Britain is if it is more concerned about keeping up appearances than attending to the needs of its children!

Street Kid Glasgow

Now correct me if I am wrong but if the bride in the royal wedding just bought just one wedding dress instead of the three, yes three wedding dresses that she is supposed to have bought and gave the rest of the money to Glasgow’s street kids then they could probably have a few hot meals and if the dreadful royal family paid for the wedding instead of the british public then the 100 million or so which is being spent could do so much good.

What is wrong with Great Britain and its royal family if they don’t understand that? Maybe they don’t know that the once ‘great’ Britain has more poverty than Russia according to the CIA fact book!

Lastly and I had to smile inwardly here, the organisers of the International Day for Street Children presented an expensively produced video of the kids in Delhi where as the poor kids in Glasgow only merited a slideshow!



About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mar 292011
 

As you may or may not know I live in the Czech republic and the Police here are plentiful and err wonderful, well they are if you believe the signs.

Horni Police

Actually ‘Horni Police’ is nothing to do with the ‘police’ but you could, if you wanted to have the oddest address, live there Horni Police is village and municipality in Česká Lípa District in the Liberec Region of the Czech Republic and nothing to do with amorous police folk.


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jan 202011
 

It has come to my attention that people are buying a book which was written and illustrated without any of my help by my translator John Woodcock called ‘Trams of Prague’ when they buy a copy of my book at Amazon.com and also at the store on my www – wickedly wonderful website here my store at www.thecatsdiary.com.

Actually I have given it a read and I have to say that it isn’t bad and the illustrations are just darlin’ as my adopted southern auntie says in Georgia so if you would like to have a peek at the book it’s called ‘Trams of Prague’ for those of you are a little hard of understanding then do, you’ll find it at Amazon and also on my website the addresses are above.

Trams of Prague Kindle Edition

If you have bought any of John Woodcock’s books, after you have bought mine of course, do let me know because, ‘Astromouse’ and a ‘Dino Dogs’ will be out soon I believe and I could arrange for you to pre-order them and I won’t charge you a cent just take a small ‘consideration’ from Mr Woodcock tee hee.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , ,

Dec 212010
 

Most of the photographs of signs that ‘friends’ send me or I have ‘snapped’ on my travels are from countries where English is probably not even a second language and where speakers of our (well my adopted) tongue twisting language try their very hardest to create a sign that is understood by the rest of the planet and of course fail.

But even if those brave souls who spend such a long time scratching their heads trying as hard as the can to communicate in English fail surely there is no excuse for people who have spent their life speaking, and one hopes writing, English is there? And with that question I bring you a photograph of a sign from a small village in England; mmh 1 out of ten and that mark was only awarded because the writer had remembered to bring paper!

Hot Bottoms.jpg

Of course the next picture is one, for me at least, to treasure! As an author I have always been interested in any place, house or indeed flat where there is a sign that says that the author of ‘Great Expectations’ and so many other wonderful books lived. And as someone who is that interested in old Charlie I am never disappointed because he was always one step ahead of the debtors and moved around an awful lot.

Still I had, until now of course, never seen his birthplace, no wonder Charlie wrote so eloquently about poverty, he was born at a bus stop! Knowing that explains a lot!

Charles Dickens was born here.jpg

Today’s last and in my opinion oddest sign comes from the good people of Egypt where one feels that they don’t really know about Prawns and that in this Cat’s book is a crime and even putting aside what can only be described as the ‘peculiar’ sandwich on the right the one on the left look awful, those Prawns have never been shown a grill have they?

I Don't Know what .jpg

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,