May 082018
 

Are you tired of really excellent cuisine?

Are you craving for something that is just ok?

If so you probably didn’t know it but you are looking for Picanté!

Picanté is Latin food served in a really average Turkish resort hotel that’s just about ok! But could be improved in so many areas.

Borderline cuisine


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

May 042018
 

Sometimes it’s nice to look back! Here is one of my favourite true stories from a while ago.

Serge the Llama’s evening out

If you saw the headline.

“Drunken French teenagers abduct a circus llama and take him on a tram ride!”

You wouldn’t believe it and not because you know that Llama’s prefer taxis or anything like of course.

But it’s true a group of five tipsy French teenagers have recently been arrested after drunkenly, and not mistakenly, stealing a Llama from a circus.

The Llama, named Serge, was taken by the naughty inebriated teens on a tour of Bordeaux via the city’s tram system. It isn’t clear whether this was the Llama’s first choice of scenic tour because sadly no one seems to know which transport system Llamas prefer!

Apparently Serge was abducted by the toasted teens in the early hours of Thursday morning after they had finished having a boozy evening in a local nightclub and for reasons better known to drunken teenager had wandered into a closed-down circus.

Llama2

(Don’t you just love the way the Llama’s eyes and the teenagers eyes have the same red eye effect?)

As Mathieu, one of the groggy gang explained later.

“We went in and played with the animals and we ended up taking a lLama with us.”

Taking a Llama obviously seemed like an astonishingly good idea at the time, but apparently the group had originally really set their hearts on taking a Zebra.

Sadly the unnamed Zebra proved too stubborn and didn’t want to leave the circus so the hammered five contentedly settled for Serge who was altogether more sociable and seemed up for a night on the town.

“The Llama walked with us just like a good dog would have done, but a dog would have been bigger right?” Mathieu slurred.”

As these things do, it suddenly occurred to one bright spark that they should take Serge on a tour of Bordeaux and of course everyone knows that the best way to see any city is by tram!

Sadly after a while the happy group of six were rumbled by a ticket inspector, though it was a group of passengers who informed on Serge and his new pals and their late night tram ride.

This was all too much for Serge and he started to panic, “he moved along the tram and we couldn’t hold onto him,” Mathieu said. “The inspector made him get off and tied him to a lamppost.

Llama1

Reports are confused as to what happened next but it does seem as though the teenagers said goodbye to their new friend and left him leaving him in the care of the tram inspector.

It wasn’t long though that the long arm of the Gendarmerie caught up with the bad lads and they were taken to a local police station to explain themselves, something that probably became more ever difficult as they sobered up.

The group will not be charged for the late night caper and apparently Serge is no worse for the adventure was fit enough to perform in his usual routine at the circus on Thursday despite his late night out.

There is no word of whether Serge would like to be taken out more often, but this Cat thinks that it would be nice for him to get out more, maybe next time on some sort of day release!


I wonder how Serge is now?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Jun 052015
 

Following the success of the last logo I thought I would provide a weekend (beginning) treat for my cuddly readers.

There was terrible trouble to be had one day when the good folks at The Institute of Oriental Studies, University of Santa Catarina realised what was sitting on top of their Pagoda in their new logo. Tee hee!

Pagoda Bot


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jun 042015
 

Vermont decided that it would be a wonderful idea to advertise their unique Maple Syrup in a poster campaign.

Vermont

Sadly the results weren’t what they expected and sales actually dropped. Dedicated Vermont Maple Syrup consumers just couldn’t face another er… drop!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jun 022015
 

Designers around the world usually talk a load of nonsense and I am happy to announce, being a one time designer, that China is no different!

Deep and Meaningful China

Mind you at least most designers bother to ensure that their convoluted messages make sense. Or is our brave Chinese designer really suggesting that his designs were prompted by a fish brain er… him!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 282015
 

Yesterday was an occasion in the country that head old Europe. It was the state opening of parliament. And what an embarrassment that was! Here is a snap from the cast who should all be sent out to grass!

The main performers are a family who have for centuries dragged the UK backwards tho a better time when only a very select few wore bling and even fewer were amazingly rich oligarchs and monarchs.

Below is a picture of the leaders current bunch who constitute the monarchy and as such receive a chunk of what is known these days as the ‘Sovereign Support Grant’ or £37.9 million for 2014-15. It’s like income support except that the recipients don’t have proper jobs.

In addition to this state handout the old fella on the left of the picture the ageing heir apparent (who may have woken up at the moment this photograph was taken) receives £19 million a year from the £728 million portfolio of land and property interests which comprises the Duchy of Cornwall or “Duketh Kernow” as the Cornish say, though if they said it to this balding Duke he wouldn’t have a clue what they were saying as he doesn’t speak Cornish.

Old and tired

For any of you who don’t know and are curious how such a large chunk of England, well Cornwall and Devon, Herefordshire, Somerset and Wales to be more exact is in the ownership of just one person the answer, is like most of the answers in the UK ‘historic.’

In 1337 after many years of civil war Edward III stole the land and great houses of most of his defeated enemies and decided to give some of them to his son Edward, Prince of Wales, the “Black Prince.”

Who actually wasn’t ‘a person of colour’ he was called “black” by the French (something about the colour of his armour), at that time it was a popular hobby of soon to be kings to go off fighting and the French being closes to England were something of a favourite. So it could be said that the prince of wales. it is only males who can inherit the Duchy is a ‘fence’ living off the proceeds of stolen property.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 282015
 

First I have to say that I loathe football. However to wake up today and discover that those (until now) upstanding executives of FIFA are corrupt is not really earth shattering news is it?

Their photographs look like a rogues gallery and not only have the pocketed up to ten billion dollars they enabled South Africa, Russian and Qatar to hold the competition, though happily not at the same time, but if you wanted to pick any more corrupt countries than these you would be hard pressed!

Fifaeight

You don’t have to be ugly to be corrupt but looking at these mugshots it obviously helps.
Not only that, imagine what will happen in the Qatar World Cup which will be held in the summer there could be terrible problems for the players, hang on though that is a good thing, this could lead to the end of football, not that is just a dream.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 272015
 

The Turks will eat anything

What’s funny about the picture? Well unfortunately ‘Ç’ is pronounced as an ‘S’ in Turkish. All of which proves that Germans like to tuck into something not very nice from Turkey. I’m not saying what though, I’m far to nice and polite a Cat for that!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 262015
 

Mechanics in Dubai don’t have to be able to spell as the owner of this Porsche discovered when he took it in to the garage for repairs to the rear and got a totally different car back, tee hee.

Opps

Nice repair there though boys, you can’t see where the idiot backed into a bollard can you? Oh hang on this happened in Dubai didn’t it! He probably didn’t back into a bollard it was more likely a Filipino migrant worker!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 252015
 

Japan is a curious place with curious people

Japan is a curious place with curious people and they seem to start being curious very young!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75