Dec 262013
 

We have all seen them haven’t we? Horny Arabs drooling over a “preeetty lady?” Yes of course we have! But now there’s some good news for their potential victims.

Recently the UAE approved for sale a wonderful cream (pictured below). This amazing cream is, as you can see, based on the simple Orange and “dispels horniness” in just 30 seconds.

Arabs do have a problem with horniness UAE

Currently your correspondent has no idea if this cream can be carried by “preeetty ladies” as a repellant, but imagines that if it is then any woman who is being pestered by a horny Arab should see the desired results by emptying the contents over his head.

In the UAE where Camel tinkering is also something of a problem horny Arabs are now self-administering this miracle cream following an extensive advertising and re-education program by the forward thinking government.

Arab drinking Milk

Yes it looks like 2014 is going to be a very peaceful year for “preeetty ladies” and indeed Camels on the Arabian peninsular.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 052011
 

At the moment there are some pretty good holiday and short break deals to all sorts of interesting destinations and they are very cheap, so cheap these holidays seem to be almost like gifts – but like any gift horse do look at the dental records first before you book anything.

The giveaway holiday destinations include Bahrain, Egypt, Morocco and other really rather volatile destinations where the locals have either that had or are having a little bit of a revolution, and have dusted off their Kalashnikov’s and taken to the streets to demand things – who knows what they are demanding and they don’t really know either but they seem to be enjoying themselves all the same.

Obviously considering any one of a number of Arab states where currently not all the shooting is into the air is a little dumb even if the price is extremely good because the likelihood of not everyone in your holiday party returning home suntanned and fit is rather high and semi-automatic bullets tend to make laundry very expensive. But there are other reasons for not holidaying in these dreadful places even if the people weren’t rioting and the reason is below.

Here is a picture I took while researching my latest blockbuster of a book – “My Travelogue.” The picture is of a top of the range toilet roadside in Tunisia, please note the various ‘classes’ of toilet from “Normal” to “Confoo” and onto the three star “Deluxe.” Of course all of these conveniences are believed by the Tunisian proprietor to be “Toilettes Confortable” which sounds like a sort of soft aftershave on paper at least!

Top of the Pile in Tunisia

Imagine the brain of the architect that ‘comes up’ (you couldn’t call it designing could you) with this block of conveniences! The two on the lefthand end are, I presume, for the poor and the cheapest is probably the one without a door. It is also possible that the doorless toilet is for poor people who are small – the Disney style height gauge nailed across the entrance is the clue there!

What is really worrying about this picture is what the Tunisians consider to be “Deluxe” the blue door on the right offers an entrance to the best toilet in the area and that says it all!

Just think, this is the only toilet for several hundred miles in any direction! And it’s a chilling thought isn’t it and the chill deepens when you consider the state of the places behind the doors!

I am not even going to describe what was there because I am a nice Cat and statements like “shit covered walls” are just not my style and neither is “dirty Arab bastards” for that matter.

Finally I leave you to guess exactly what the rolls of ‘stuff’ are that lie to the right of the cosy broken toilet block or to consider just how the area, for half a mile around, smells because of course there aren’t any sewers in the area.

The best and safest thing you can do to save money this year and help the country’s economy into the bargain is to holiday at home and then you won’t get shot at or poisoned by cheap Arab holidays or indeed catch dysentery from toilets that were obviously inspired by Indian architects and sewerage engineers.

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