Oct 302013
 

If you ever wondered what those caring strapping guys down under think about female sanity and where to put it here is your answer.

Female sanity and where to put it Australia

Well what did you expect? I liked that lady who was in charge of Australia until recently her name was Julia Gillard I seem to remember and she wanted to get rid of the dead weight of royalty at the top of their government and form a republic, which seems like a jolly good idea to me, Australians need a visa to enter the UK and so must be a separate country and should have a different head of state.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Aug 012013
 

Thats cheap for knob in Australia isn t it

That is very cheap for knob in isn’t it? Although I have to say here that I’m no expert! Knob is not the sort of thing I would enjoy I expect and would prefer to leave it to the Polish and of course the Australians!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Nov 082011
 

After moving 2,000 miles from Ungarra, South Australia to a new home in Darwin high up in Australia’s Northern Territories in March last year Jessie The Cat went missing, her family looked everywhere for her but she was nowhere to be seen.

A year later Jessie The Cat’s family had more or less given up any hope of ever seeing their wonderful Cat again until one day the people who had moved into Jessie The Cat family’s old house called them up and said that they had seen a strange Cat mooching around their house.

Jessie The Cat’s family asked for a picture, just in case the strange cat wasn’t a stranger to them. The picture arrived and delighted Jessie The Cat’s family because – well you have guessed it, it was Jessie The Cat.

Jessie The Cat had somehow managed to walk 2,000 miles back to her old home and her journey gets even more impressive when you look at the routes she may have taken, either Jessie The Cat crossed Australia’s searing desert or she took a very much longer coastal route to visit her old house and chums, until now Jessie The Cat hasn’t said which one she took or indeed whether she plans further adventures in the future.

Jessie s Journey

Just like Jessie The Cat your favourite genius of a feline author has been travelling, last year and indeed for a few years before I travelled the world researching my latest and most wonderful masterpiece of feline literature ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and although I didn’t actually match Jessie The Cat’s feat on all fours I think I deserve a pat on the back don’t you?

You can get The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or a copy of The Cat’s Travelogue ebook by clicking these links or the nice picture below!

Travelogue by John Woodcock

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Feb 222011
 

I would just like to say that I am thinking about all of my friends and readers in New Zealand today and hope that more people are safe than first thought and that anyone trapped is rescued quickly.

NZ Earthquake

I see as of Tuesday 08.11 GMT the British government have done absolutely nothing and the Queen of England hasn’t offered any words of comfort to her New Zealand subjects, I wonder why?

Let’s hope that Australia is not the only nation to come to poor New Zealand’s aid hint hint.

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Oct 112010
 

Definitely A Woman But Drugged Out of Her Mind

Today it was confirmed that the Commonwealth Games women’s 100m gold medal winner Damola Osayemi has failed a drugs test, but happily for a change other tests confirm that she is a female athlete and was rightfully allowed to compete in a woman’s event, unlike a growing number of African athletes, particularly from South Africa, who have entered and won athletic events only to be discovered at a later to be men.

However with Damola Osayemi officials have definitely confirmed that she was indeed a woman, but in her case a woman who was drugged out of her mind.

Damola Osayemi’s coach and Nigerian team officials have said that the banned substance that had been responsable for her drastic improvement in form might have been ingested while poor Damola Osayemi was taking medicine for a really bad toothache.

Others have said that a disgruntled Witch Doctor may have tricked Damola Osayemi into taking the banned substance or indeed that she and her trainer had secretly used banned drugs to enhance her performance in the same way that Olympic athletes have been doing for decades because of the enormous financial rewards that come as a result of winning sporting events to say nothing of the muscle tone that can be achieved with steroids and of course the possibility of becoming a successful politician in later life.

The picture below is of a happy smiling Damola Osayemi thinking about all of the money she is going to earn from the sport over the next few years, after she won the 100 metres event and probably just before she was given the news that she had failed the all important drugs test.

Definitely a Woman but drugged.jpg

For all of my American readers.

You may be wondering just what exactly is the “Commonwealth Games?” Well it is a rather poor imitation of the Olympic Games which attracts second division countries and their athletes to compete in countries that can’t afford to host the games and in the case of this year’s host couldn’t get the various venues and stadia built and ready even though they had eight years to do so.

The ‘commonwealth’ part of the name “Commonwealth Games” relates to a group of ex British empire countries who are convinced that if they huddle together economically something wonderful will happen to them, as they have been huddling together since 1931 it is unlikely that this will happen.

The importance of the “Commonwealth” and the “Commonwealth Games” to the British public amounts to zero except for a very small and completely out of touch group of free loaders who count among their ranks the Queen of England, Commonwealth etc and her dreadful spawn who get to travel to the countries that comprise the Commonweath and in the case of the really awful prince Charles (the grumbler in waiting) and the insane dude of Edinburgh whine and moan about the heat and humidity, the flies and of course the people.

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