Dec 152011
 

Space Shuttle Program

I don’t know if any of my wonderfully cuddly readers remember my post Nasa Face in Space Update which I published on my wonderful blog in March 4th this year? I am sure they do a lot of people remember blogs from the Cat who writes blogs.

If you remember, that’s great; if not just click the link above and catch up with the rest of us and then do feel free to read on because I have something wonderful to tell you and it will probably be more impressive if you are ‘up to speed’ as they say to the more challenged among us who have a tendency to fall behind.

So now that we are all ‘on the same page,’ which is course yet another euphemism used when talking to the ‘slower ones’ among us now that we can’t use words like ‘remedial,’ ‘monks,”thick’ and so on and so forth, I have something wonderful to tell you!

Yesterday I received my certificate from Nasa which certifies that I took a journey on the second to last Space Shuttle the STS-134 as it’s known among us Catsmonaut’s. Oddly enough the certificate reads that “the face of The Cat has flown in space aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour on mission STS-134 from May 16 – June 1, 2011.”

Shuttle STS134 The Cat

Yes that is what I thought it’s an odd way of saying I was there with the guys but you know Americans they do have their own way of tangling with the English language forever wanting it to be more um… ‘American’ bless them.

Yesterday I signed Space Shuttle Program tribute wall because I just wanted to tell NASA how wonderful they are and if you would like to honour the amazing people who helped to design, build and fly the Space Shuttle, not to mention those who emptied the toilets, then you too can sign the wall and pay tribute to the Space Shuttle Program here Space Shuttle Program Tribute Wall.

I honestly recommend that you do this. NASA do an amazing job and I have always wanted to thank them, for not only letting me fly into space on a safe Space Shuttle, but also for the wonderful work they do, thanks NASA and I know that will mean a lot to all of you over there in the US.


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Aug 122011
 

Not so long ago I was scuffing through the lanes of England doing a bit of research form my new book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ which is going to be just as wonderful as my last book ‘Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary’ which I am happy to say is still in print and can be bought for a snip at Amazon.com or my www.thecatsdiary.com and I saw this sign.

I don’t know about you I slow down for Monkeys, I hope you do too I think we all should.

Slow Down For Monkeys

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 252011
 

Being an innocent Cat does sometimes have its problems, which I have to say are sometimes almost as bad as not being able to lie something that comes naturally to most humans, I have explained in my latest book ‘Getting Out Excerpts From a Cat’s Diary’ that Cats find it impossible to lie read my book if you didn’t know that you’ll love it.

Unfortunately being an innocent Cat means that one is disadvantaged just like when I was with a couple of humans the other day and they saw this sign and couldn’t stop laughing.

Please can Someone Explain This Sign

Why they were laughing I have no idea, but I know that my lovely readers will end my embarrassment and tell me what this sign means and why its funny just let me know in a comment or write to me at thecat@thecatsdiary.com.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 142011
 

Dead Rats Old
I thought I would share a couple of photographs which I took when I was in Paris the other day.

Etablissements Julien Aurouze, Paris is an odd little shop as you can see from the display in the window they sell Rat traps and all sorts of other things that snap and dispatch the furry kind such as gulp yours truly.

As you can see from their window display of far too many dead Rats the stuff they sell does seem to work all too well.

Mind you for those of you who are like me and have a delicate constitution to match their stomach I can tell you happily that the rats in the window are preserved Rats and have been on display since 1925.

It’s a bit worrying that they look so fresh until you realise that Madam Tussaud was born in the neighbourhood and look what she has done to major and minor celebrities.

Some say that the shop was featured in the Disney movie Ratatoullie maybe one of my clever readers could say whether that is true or not because of course I don’t watch movies about Rats or Dogs for that matter so I don’t know if that is the truth.

Dead Rats Colour

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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May 242011
 

My dear lovely cuddly readers I am afraid that I have to insist that you watch the ‘Ultimate Dog Tease video which I have just put up on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

To make it really very easy for you I have added a link that will whisk you to the correct page here Ultimate Dog Tease.

This video is not only one of the funniest videos I have seen it makes even the hardest hearted Cat feel sorry for at least one dog in the world.

Dog Tease

Who’d have thought that one day I would say “poor Doggie?”


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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Mar 292011
 

As you may or may not know I live in the Czech republic and the Police here are plentiful and err wonderful, well they are if you believe the signs.

Horni Police

Actually ‘Horni Police’ is nothing to do with the ‘police’ but you could, if you wanted to have the oddest address, live there Horni Police is village and municipality in Česká Lípa District in the Liberec Region of the Czech Republic and nothing to do with amorous police folk.


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jan 022011
 

So the rumours are true they are only letting Penguins and Puffins out! Why I ask you? What have the rest of us done that is so wrong that we have been made to stay inside?

Only Penguins.jpg

And what is it with Penguins why do they get special treatment? Just look at how Penguins are treated in Norway! Surely this prompts the question why isn’t this happening to me? I think I have achieved more in the last year than a flock of penguins don’t you.

Penguin Salute.jpg

Just ask yourself ‘how many Penguins have written a bestselling unputdownable masterpiece book (available here Amazon.com of course) or have a fabulous blog?’ None of course – that settles it, I’m off to Norway to complain.

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Dec 192010
 

It sounds as though my fans in the UK (especially) but all across europe are having a torrid time trying to do just a little bit of Christmas shopping.

The UK seems to have suffered worst of all and there is panic breaking out to do last minute shopping for Christmas according to all of the major newspapers and that is where this clever Cat can come to the rescue – by delivering all of your gift requirements before Christmas with my very cunning plan.

My cunning plan, like all good plans since the Norman invasion of England in 1066 is simple – then it was bash everyone on the head and take over – but this plan is less Gallic and violent and so simple it will work like a dream and the result will be that everyone gets a gift at Christmas even though people can’t get to the shops.

The first part of my very cunning plan is to go to my either my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or Amazon.com and download an ebook of my masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary,’ my site has them in lots of options including a pdf version which can be read on any computer no only ebook readers and of course Amazon.com have the peerless Kindle.

The Cat & Kindle.png

The second part of my plan is possibly even better and more cunning than the first part and you have to admit just the first part of the plan was a winner!

Everyone knows that although electronic or ebooks are wonderful, easy to read, weight nothing, immediate and best of all you can get thousands of them on your reader, there is nothing like being able to give someone a present that is wrapped up and to watch them unwrap present on Christmas morning their eyes growing wide and their complete joy as they realise that you have given them a copy of my amazing book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’

So while you are following the first part of this very cunning plan and ordering the moderately priced ebook, which of course can be delivered immediately, simply order a copy of my amazing book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ at the same time from either my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or Amazon.com for the same person, that way even if you can’t get to the shops, or copies of my book can’t be delivered because of the snow or any other disasters natural or unnatural, you will be able to wrap my book when you get it and happily give it to someone safe in the knowledge that they are already reading your first present a copy of my brilliant ebook.

Just for you from now until Christmas morning I have a team of people working 24/7 ready here at Cat World HQ to take your order and then send you the ebooks you need and the great thing about my shop here my online store is open 24/7 and if you don’t like clicking links just copy and paste this address into you browser to be whisked to my store – http://www.thecatsdiary.com/store.

Here at my brilliant store, which as I said is open 24/7 until Christmas morning, we not only offer a guaranteed service backed up personally by me – The Cat but we also take all major credit cards and you can if you wish pay using the excellent and safe Paypal payment system. And of course we can send the ebooks immediately to any email address anywhere meaning your gift will be guaranteed to be delivered before Christmas.

Oh and my translator Mr. John Woodcock also asked – well begged – me to tell you about a pair of his ebooks which I graciously sell online at my store ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No 6’

trams-cover.jpg

‘Astromouse’

astromouse.jpg

If you want to have a look at either of these excellent books or read a synopsis then simply click here my online store is open 24/7 or as I said above if you don’t like clicking links just copy and paste this address into you browser to be whisked to my store – http://www.thecatsdiary.com/store I am sure that anyone would love any all or all of the ebooks that you can find at my amazing store.

So once again this clever Cat comes to the rescue and makes the difference between not having something to give someone at Christmas and being able to give on ‘the day’ and then remember ‘the day’ afterwards when you watch someone open their second present.

I wish you all a warm and very Happy Christmas!

PS

I watched George Clooney in ‘The American’ last night and here’s a tip if you haven’t seen it – don’t bother it’s dreadful! The best thing about the movie is George’s hair cut though unfortunately his side burns are like the movie is far too long! Even the Italian scenery is dull, grey and dreary – and that is an amazing cinematographic accomplishment because Italian countryside is normally lovely.

The Cat’s tip for the holiday season until my movie comes out is ‘Despicable Me’ it’s fun, funny and everyone can watch it and find something to enjoy!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dec 172010
 

Isn’t it nice that I have won a prize for the best way to describe a wonderfully funny, clever and extremely entertaining website.

The Cat & Kindle.png

I have to say that it is only what I would expect being a “pure genius” as a reviewer said about me on the back cover of my excellent bestselling book – ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary!’

So now ‘www – wickedly wonderful website’ the phrase I have always to refer to my amazing website www.thecatsdiary.com is officially considered the best way to describe a really great website by the Web’s Governing body – how cool is that? How clever is this Cat?

Personally I would also add honest, kind, good looking and modest to any list of compliments referring to me, but then as some cosmetics brand once advertised that’s“Because I’m worth it!”

Are they worth it.jpg

Oops! I originally typed a question mark at the end of the sentence above instead of an exclamation mark – maybe I was influenced by the way that the famous stars said the line in the ads – now I am imagining thousands of “Cuts” sigh! and “let’s do that one more time” as the ad was filmed – they wouldn’t have had the same problem with me I promise har ha.

Actually when you look at the models from l’Oreal Paris you start to wonder if they are “worth it” they aren’t the most attractive models in the world are they? They have rather large Jerry Hall type mouths I think, but then I am a Cat and this young Bengal lady Cat is more to my liking.

Cute Cat.jpg

Oh! I nearly forgot if you haven’t do! Sorry let me explain, if you haven’t bought my book and you want to click either here Amazon.com or here  www.thecatsdiary.com and you’ll be able to buy my book at either Amazon.com or my award winning site www – wickedly wonderful website, either way you are in for hours and hours of laughter and fun – more fun that you would normally expect from a book even though I say so myself.

You know I occasionally dip into my wonderful book and even I laugh at what is happening in spite of the fact that I was there and it was all happening to me! Obviously the sign of a great book.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dec 172010
 

As the title of this blog says “we all believe in something!” You humans believe in a white bearded, chubby old fella in a red suit with a posse of elves and little helpers, this old fella in the red suit is not very organised and instead of delivering presents over a period of a year he chases around on Christmas Eve trying and hopefully succeeding to deliver presents to children the world over in one night.

On the other paw we Cats believe in ‘Santa Cat’ who isn’t that chubby but does wear a red suit, fortunately we Cats don’t believe that all presents should be delivered on the same day and so as you can see Santa Cat is able to work in a very relaxed manner.

Actually I am really excited because just as with ‘your’ Santa our Santa Cat is rarely seen and almost never photograph and so when I came across a picture of Santa Cat on the internet I was not only astonished but excited, obviously the reason why we Cats rarely see Santa Cat is because he is almost always curled up somewhere comfortable catching up on sleep he would have missed by briefly waking up, stretching, yawning and falling asleep again.

I’m so excited I thought that I should share the picture with you especially as Christmas is almost upon us and I expect your Santa’s blood pressure is at record levels. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Santa Cat.jpg

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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