Feb 102014

This week the royal family hit a new low when the possible future king, if the monarchy last that long, was off playing at what they call “the sport of king’s” or in other words he was blasting away with both barrels at any animal that got in his way, on a wealthy pal’s estate in Spain, although it is reported that he was only looking for wild boar maim or kill.

Hunting wild boar Spain

All of this was happening a day before the royal hypocrite will be participating in a UK Government hosted conference on the illegal wildlife trade along side the other well know small animal murderer, his father charles. The conference will also signal the launch of a campaign jointly run by these two hunters called laughingly “Let’s Unite for Wildlife!” which aims to highlight the devastating impact of poaching animals such as rhinos, and elephants and calls for international action.

I wonder if anyone has sat these two idiots down and explained that the best way to “Unite for Wildlife” is to put their guns away and stop shooting at anything and everything that twitches?

But then I suppose if they can make their campaign “Let’s Unite for Wildlife!” a success it will clear all of the riff raft out of the shooting game and leave it just for the super rich all of which would be far more to the taste of these two cold blooded animal killers.

Prince William Hunting

The royal family regularly visit the sprawling 37,000-acre Finca La Garganta estate to kill things, this time william was accompanied by his ginger haired brother. Because although kate likes to kill things as much as any cold blooded royal this time she couldn’t because happily the royal couple have worked out that the sound of guns blasting here, there and everywhere tends to annoy the nannies because it makes the baby cry and her advisers have warned that public opinion, even the royal loving Brits, would take a dim view of her accompanying the royals for a shooting spree and leaving the baby at home with the nannies so she sloped off to the Caribbean instead to sun herself in a $20,000 a week Caribbean bungalow while the prince was busy shooting wild boar in Spain, all of course paid for by the hard pressed UK tax payer.

It s alright being a royal

Why shiver with the rest of the UK and have to endure the reports of UK citizens losing their jobs and then their homes and the ‘tedious’ reports of so many ordinary working people who are still in work but have to visit food banks to feed their children when you can sun yourself and relax by a pool? Why kate indeed?

Kate middleton

It’s alright being a royal isn’t it kate?

Obviously I have to declare my interest when writing a blog such as this one so that you, dear cuddly reader don’t think I am bias. I honestly believe that the George Washington and his merry men, the Bolsheviks and Oliver Cromwell had the right idea and that is why although I am English I live in a republic!

Oliver Cromwell

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Dec 162010

It is worth mentioning, because it’s a compliment that a lot of people give me when they write to me, that readers can never guess what they are going to be delighted by and read next on my blog and I suppose that is why it is so amazingly successful.

This Cat loves to entertain and put a smile on his wonderfully cuddly readers faces and I hope that I always do, in fact judging by the very large number of books being sold around the world, especially at Amazon.com, I imagine that my readers are regularly entertained and recommend my blog, my book and my website to all of their friends.

I know how much everybody enjoyed my blog a while ago about London Bridge and so I thought I would post a picture that the ever charming daughter of my translator sent me recently.

My translator’s daughter is called Jo Woodcock and she is one of those famous humans who acts and if you type in ‘Jo Woodcock actress’ in say www.google.com or www.bing.com you’ll be able to see this picture of her and many more.

Jo Woodcock.jpg

For your information this picture (above)comes from the BBC www.bbc.co.uk and is a still from the series ‘Land Girls’ which is on your screens in the UK soon and on BBC America around Christmas too I believe.

Anyway enough of humans here is the picture.

London Bridge.jpg

When you look at the picture does it strike you that the guy on the left looks as though his batteries have run out and he has just come to a stop people in the street do that a lot don’t they tee hee! I suppose he has stopped on his way to a job he hates and is thinking “maybe I could call in sick? I just really don’t want to spend another eight hours bored stiff when I could be a… professional wreck diver in the Caribbean!”

The woman behind him is obviously humming to herself and, “think we’ll have Shepherd’s Pie tonight mmh lovely that might make Nigel take more notice of me and it is a cheap, filling and tasty meal – oh I am glad I’m not a vegetarian!”

This Cat loves Shepherd’s Pie by the way, especially when it is cooked with beef and not lamb, actually did you know that when ‘Shepherd’s Pie’ is cooked with beef it is known as ‘Cottage Pie’ and when ‘Cottage Pie’ is covered in Cheese (preferably a very orange Cheese like Double Gloucester) it’s called ‘Cumberland Pie’ I love English cooking it’s so inventive without being pretentious like some cuisines I could mention but you all know by now I mean ‘french’ don’t you!

It’s possible that some of my lovely cuddly readers are deprived – and don’t you have to be careful when you type that word? And not adding a rogue ‘a’ instead of the ‘i!’ – and that they might not have enjoyed the delightful taste of Shepherd’s Pie, Cottage Pie or indeed Cumberland Pie you poor things and so to put that right here are some pictures of what they look like and a recipe – yes that is right I am the Cat that keeps on giving! But then it is the season for that and also to be jolly apparently.

Shepherds Pie.jpg

Just think what a change a simple (and it is simple) dish of Shepherd’s Pie or any of its other incarnations will be over the holiday season, when you are stuffed to the brim with rich food and if you have any leftover meat and you don’t know what to do with it you are in for a real treat.


Boil and mash 2lbs (1kg) of big, floury potatoes, adding a thick slice of butter and some cream as you mash.

Soften 2 large onions, peeled and chopped, in a little butter. If the fancy takes you you can add a few diced carrots and celery now. Some people also add Baked Beans or peas – basically if you like ‘it’ throw ‘it’ in – within reason of course Prawns don’t work in Shepherd’s Pie – but they really do in the other ‘Pie’ variation on the mashed potato topped theme ‘Ocean Pie’ which is all fish, delightful cod, delicious haddock, wonderful smoked salmon more fish than you can imagine and I once imagined a swimming pool filled to the brim with Prawns – sorry I have to stop for a minute and regain my composure.

Where was I – oh yes – Onions!

When the onions are golden, add about a 1.5 pounds (600g) of minced lamb and cook it until is thoroughly browned.

At this point you can add salt (if you want to), pepper, thyme, a bit of marjoram, some sage and some ground rosemary and dribble one or two drops of Worcestershire Sauce over the mixture.

Next add about two thirds of a pint (350ml) of stock and allow the mixture simmer gently for 30 minutes or so.

When the meat is soft put the lamb mixture into a shallow baking dish and add the topping of mashed potato, dot it with a little butter and bake for about 35 – 40 minutes in a hot oven. You will know that it is cooked when the surface of the mashed potato is crisp.

This recipe will serves 4 adults or one peckish Cat.


Don’t worry about weighing anything or indeed the weight of the ingredients at all this recipe can cope with twice as much meat or half as much, especially if you have a near empty larger/purse and a few vegetables to replace the meat.

Some tips

Here are a few tips to make sure that the Shepherd’s Pie is not just good but divine, make sure that the onions are nicely browned, use cream, butter and milk when you mash the potatoes for a very creamy result and if you fancy a bit of extra spice add pepper to the mash.

If your meat mixture is a little runny either take out some of the stock and make a wonderfully tasty gravy with it or use a sheet of tin foil to catch any drips that don’t bubble over the mashed potato and form a wonderful crunchy crust.

Of course the mashed potato crust should be crisp on top and you can achieve this easily by either pull a fork across its surface to create “furrows” or pile it up into clouds with a spoon.

Truly flexible

As I said above you can use beef instead of lamb and turn the recipe into Cottage Pie. In addition you can add a layer of grated cheese and made a Cumberland Pie (below in a picture I have just borrowed – personally I would add even more Cheese, then a little more Cheese on top of that! But then like most Cats I like Cheese).

Cumberland Pie.jpg

This is a great way to enjoy a hearty meal in these cold snowy days and better still it is one of the ways to help stretch your budget, after the bankers have ruined the world’s economy and the politicians and other idiots have turned a financial disaster into a monetary Tsunami, and to eat heartily but cheaply is not only a bonus to some it is a way of life.

Gosh I didn’t expect to be giving recipes and cooking tips when I started this blog all those ages ago, but then I suppose this is why my blog is so popular I cover all sorts of subjects.

Actually just there is a little example of a pet project I have – why can’t we create a word that combines the two words all and sorts into ‘alsorts’ but I better not get started on that subject!

As usual do let me know if any or all of the above was helpful/interesting – I would hate to think that I was talking to myself and my thousands of fans had just suddenly disappeared!

Author’s background information

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in history, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website hereĀ www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mar 162010

I thought that you might like to have a quick update and discover just how many Caribbean well deserved breaks I have been offered, none is the sorry answer and frankly I am disappointed I expected more of my lovely fans.

Worse the light rain has turned to sleet outside and that seems to be getting heavier and that means snow, just what the doctor didn’t order I can tell you.

So come on my rich and wonderful fans or even my wonderfully rich fans don’t be shy make me an offer I can’t refuse and help me to recover from this terribly long winter under a shady palm tree on a white sandy beach.

Sandy beach.jpg

Technorati Tags:
, , , ,

Mar 162010

Did you notice that it stopped snowing on my website and my blog? Hope so it was nice while it lasted but frankly I think that you my lovely fans probably got a little bored with it didn’t you?

If you did get bored with the snow then you will probably sympathise with my plight here in the heart of Europe, it had been snowing since just before Christmas and then it stopped after two months when it was impossible for yours truly to even attempt to peer over the top of the stuff.

When it stopped I thought to myself thank goodness for that what a relief and all of the things that you think to yourself in that sort of situation, but guess what? It started again, then it thawed and then it started again and in between since Christmas we have had probably two days free from snow and that frankly is just too much to bear.

So I have decided that I would like one of my rich fans to invite me to a warm sunny (preferably Caribbean) place for a bit of a holiday I think I deserve it.

Do let me know what you can offer and I will in turn inform the lucky fan when I want them to book the travel.

In the meantime have a great Spring, it has started hasn’t it?