Apr 022012
 

When Mrs. Anonymous (who I have to say I don’t know) sent me this picture from Cape Town someone had to explain the subject of this Museum to me because when I opened the file I had no idea what treasures were hidden behind the doors of the Natale Labia Museum.

Cape Town s Labia Museum

Now I know though and frankly I wish I didn’t!

Changing the subject – quickly – I hear from my publisher that the ebook versions of my wonderful books ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary‘ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will soon be available at the Apple Bookstore, the Sony Bookstore and on something called Kobo – whoopee I say if it means that more of the folding stuff comes in, or should that be – wonderful news that my books are available to a wider audience, well I suppose so, although the extra cash sounds nice too!

As you would expect from one of the world’s foremost self-promotionalists I will keep you informed of the developments as and when they happen so that you can buy my books at these great retailers as well as on www.Amazon.co.uk and www.amazon.com to say nothing of the shop at my www wickedlywonderfulwebsite My Store although because it is a beautifully designed website and very posh I call that page my ‘store’ which has a certain ring to it like um… Apple Store.



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 282012
 

HillBilly Humour
Well that is one way to deal with Junk Mail, I wonder what they do to all of the spam that Google’s Gmail attracts?



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 272012
 

Over the weekend as my twitter (twitter.com/TheCatsDiary) followers will probably know I watched the Muppet Movie, not the first one which has that wonderful gag about turning left at the fork in the road and the next thing you know there is a big fork stuck in the middle of a junction tee hee (oh how I laughed at that), no this was the most recent one and I have to say that I was so pleased to see that Disney seem to have learned their lesson from disaster movies like the ‘second coming of Pooh Bear’ or whatever the movie was called and they made a rather good little Muppet Movie.

I also have to say that I suppose that I am a little bias, liking the Muppets, being as you know something of a anthropomorphic character myself but all the same I would recommend that you rent of even buy the DVD of this fine little movie which should not only entrance five year olds but also make oldies laugh more than a little.

Muppet Movie

Speaking of twitter if you do happen to fancy a little adventure, and we are talking rather small here I have to say, do drop by my twitter page because if you do you will be able to see an old pal of mine, Bumper, who was a very large Tabby Cat of my acquaintance.

Bumper got his name from the part of a car that hit him before we rescued him from the side of a road in London. As you can see from the picture, Bumper made a full recovery and lived for ages with us in the countryside.

He enjoyed sunning himself, sniffing grasses in the garden if he was persuaded to go outside, something that he had obviously had quite enough of as an alley Cat. Most of all Bumper enjoyed impersonating desk ornaments, in fact he always wanted to be the only desk ornament and so when he stretched out on ‘his’ desk he would gently knock everything else that was on the desk off believing that his little game wasn’t being noticed! If any Cat in the world was more gentle or indeed more ‘smiley’ (if that was a word) then I haven’t met him or her he was a great Cat and the perfect advert for adopting a stray Cat.

If you got to my twitter page (address above for those who have problems remembering things they have read)you will also be able to see the result of my ‘Make a Carrot Cake Day.’ Oh you are so lucky my wonderfully cuddly readers.

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Mar 262012
 

It happens every week, well it has happened so far every week since I was born and I expect (based on evidenced gained from various calendars and enormous research to see if they all said the same) that it is going to happen every day, about this time of the week, for the rest of my life and dare I say ‘yours’ if I may be so bold. It’s Monday!

This Monday is bright sunny, a bit nippy and promises to be rather special if not a little long as it is 6.20 am EST.

I have saluted the flag that is usually the Euro flag flying above the studios here in Barrandov, but is so tightly wrapped around the flagpole it looks as though it had a bit of a fright in the night, and now I am heading off to my studio to create some feline themed magic, wish me luck!

Barrandov Studios

Of course when I took this picture there was an unexpected gust of wind (not Feline) and the flag in question (the one on the right) decided to billow, they do that don’t they? Flags. Still as they say that is life.

On this day:

Did you know that on this day 26th of March 1612 absolutely nothing that could be considered interesting or noteworthy whatsoever happened. Trust me to start a series entitled ‘on this day’ and pick a day where nothing of interest happened!



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 202012
 

When you are on holiday you have, as I see it two choices, you can coat yourself in sun tan lotion, flop down next to the pool, order a constant supply of cool drinks, and totally veg out or you can use the sun, sea and spare time to get fit.

They do say that Tunisia is a great place to go on holiday, I personally don’t agree, but a lot of people do visit for a holiday and come back again although less since the whole Arab Spring – that’s vista and come back rather than just visit and disappear of course.

One of the many reasons why I think that Tunisia is such a bad choice as a holiday destination is the weird ideas that they have for exercising as the picture below suggests.

Abdominal Buttocks In Tunisia

Another reason is ‘safety’ and I can’t stress this one enough, if you stray into the native areas or indeed a Gym you could be risking your life. Again these dangers are demonstrated using the picture – which is now above . Just imagine a ‘Water Aerobics’ class that soon after requires ‘Body Pumping!’ Just how much water do these characters expect use mere mortal holidaymakers to take on board?



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 052012
 

You live in a wonderful sunny country right next to the sea and you have always wanted to open a restaurant and so you carefully select the location for your new restaurant – being close to tourists is always a good idea if you want a lot of customers and a successful business, you chose a menu that appeals to your customers and provides delicious well cooked reasonably priced food and you employ staff who are friendly, polite and cheerfully knowledgable about the cuisine you are providing.

Then all that is left after so much meticulous planning is to choose a name that’s inviting, has meaning and makes potential customers want to come through the door – as you can see the owner of the restaurant below followed almost all of those rules!

Desperate Customers

I hope you can’t hear the waterfall background!



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 012012
 

Here is a little hope for everyone who’s life is being made a misery by the Git in their life. At last there’s somewhere to send all of the Gits to and we can only hope that they like it so much that they stay there!

So if there’s a git in your life pick up the phone and call Git Holidays I was going to say “and git a break from them,” but that is stooping a bit low just for a jokette so instead of that I will do a little bit of advertising for the best product in the whole wide world – no not Apple’s iPod Touch, iPhone or even the iPad, I meant my books in paper or electronic form! Well a Cat’s got to eat!

For the Git in your life



About the Author – The Author of the Cat Diary

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”



Here are just a few things that you shouldn’t leave the house without – well if you have an Apple iPad you probably don’t need an Amazon Kindle Fire thingy but I am sure that you see what and mean and never, ever leave home without taking a copy of one of my wonderful books will you? Happily they come in both paper and electronic form.












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Feb 232012
 

When you are out for a stroll in the countryside, breathing in the scent of meadows, admiring mountain streams and sniffing the flowers or gateposts if you are a Dog you don’t expect to be confronted by some chaps attempt to impress the neighbours do you so if you want to avoid this rather odd though sadly not unique way of naming a town don’t go to Turkey, where obviously the men are MEN and Turkeys aren’t on the menu at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

What Were They Thinking When They Named This Town

Mind you if you want to meet the ‘twin of the goddess of luck’ then you will h’have’ to go to Bigadiç because that is where they reside – well they actually lived in “Didi-Moti-He” but oddly enough over the ages the name “Didi-Moti-He” has become Bigadiç – men!

Unfortunately there is nothing more that can be said about Bigadiç which is probably just as well – oh apart from the fact that I went there while researching my second masterpiece of feline literature ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’ The place was so bland that it didn’t get into the Cat’s Diary let alone the hallowed pages of my Travelogue.

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Feb 082012
 

Dickens

“Give me a ‘C’”

“Give me an ‘H’”

“Give me a ‘A’”

“Give me a ‘R’”

“Give me a ‘L’”

“Give me a ‘E’”

“Give me a ‘S’”

“Give me a ‘D’”

“Give me a ‘I’”

“Give me a ‘C’”

“Give me a ‘K’”

“Give me a ‘E’”

“Give me a ‘N’”

“Give me a ‘S’”

“What’s that spell?”

Well to be perfectly honest with you I wouldn’t know what it spells unless I had just read it because when people shout out things like that at pop festivals, football matches political rallies and other disreputable places I get all flustered and forget some of the letters that have been shouted out and so before the end I am all confused and consequently shout out completely the wrong word, which with Charlie’s last name could have all sorts of dreadful consequences couldn’t it.

But I just wanted my dear cuddly readers to know that I haven’t forgotten that the Charlie above is 200 years old except for the fact that he is of course dead and he can’t actually ‘be’ 200 years old that would be impossible, but the anniversary of Charlie’s birth was yesterday.

I have to stress I didn’t forget, oh I have already said that so let me rephrase that I have to say again I didn’t forget that Charles Dickens is 200 years old even though I am a day late celebrating and there is a good reason for being a day late.

First as you will know if you have read The Cat’s Diary – “Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” I don’t really like ‘Dickens’ the word used to describe him and his work and secondly if I had been celebrating his 200 year thingy yesterday I would have been doing it with all the other morons like Google with their pretentious doodles, prince Charles who visited Dicken’s tomb, a odd thing to do on the anniversary of a chaps birth you might think but he could hardly have been asked to go on tv and talk about his vast knowledge of Dickens work could he? In fact very few people could do that because Dickens work is these days something that is referred to a lot and rarely read.

One of the reasons for that is that there is no need to actually ‘read’ Dickens because his stuff appears so often on the tv and in movies, and one of the main reasons for that is not the great stories but the fact that the production companies don’t have to pay royalties to use the stories, another reason is that the author has been dead so long there isn’t anyone to complain about the treatment of the author’s work and in film and tv both those points make for a win win situation.

I thought I would share my favourite Dickens related photograph. You may remember it from one of my blogs from a little while ago this nice Dickens related picture that I found in Kent while out on a walk.

Lastly with the above cheer in mind I can wait for the birthday of Country Joe from Country Joe and the Fish/Woodstock fame can you? N.B. I am afraid that you have to have lived through the late sixties to understand that little jokette tee hee.

Charles Dickens was born here

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Feb 072012
 

It was so cold yesterday that I decided to indulge myself in a little English soul food, me being a furry little English soul, so it seemed just right.

English food has the ability to make you feel not only warm when you eat it but also has a cheering effect and though I never do seem to need cheering up I certainly enjoyed the warm feeling of every mouthful hitting the spot, if you see what I mean.

I was so pleased with the outcome that I thought I would share the recipe with you my dear readers you never know you might be not only feeling cold but also a bit down in the dumps but if you make this Rice Pudding you’ll feel so much better and if one of the reasons you are feeling down in the dumps is that you are hard up the great thing about this recipe is that it really doesn’t cost much too cook, especially if you take the dish full of raw ingredients around to a neighbour and use their stove. Mind you it does take 2 hours to cook so make sure that you have a lot of conversation topics prepared.

Old fashioned Rice Pudding

This Rice Pudding is so simple to make just measure out rice, milk, butter, sugar and mix them all together in the oven dish you are going to cook it in, stir it all together one last time and then follow the very limited instructions on the recipe I have added above.

I got my recipe for Rice Pudding from the ‘Mother of all TV cooks’ the patron saint of daytime TV Saint Delia Smith, she was the first TV cook back in the 1970′s and taught a whole nation how to burn Beef Bourguignon, cock up Coq au vin and be adventurous in the kitchen, and as we all simmered, sautéed and sliced our way through countless new recipes that dear Delia had careful made so simple to follow our cooking abilities grew.

Delia

Delia Smith is definitely the reason I like to cook and I often refer to her website deliaonline if I am wondering what to do with a Prawn or Carrot or indeed both!

First I ate beef stew with plenty of carrots in it and of course loads of beef and then I ate the Rice Pudding and then I tried doing the washing up while holding my stomach off the floor and smiling to myself singing a little song about not worrying about being a fat Cat, though of course the nicer kind of fat Cat and not some masked arsehole from a merchant bank, railway authority or the royal family.



About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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