China » The Cat's Blog

No Mental Patients Allowed – It Must Be China

Jan 272012

No Mental Patients Guilin China

The safety instructions for riding a cable car in Gulin, China would amusing if they didn’t show how dreadfully backward and prejudice the richest communists in the world really are!

Of course I can understand that people riding the cable car should be discouraged from taking explosives on board, and smelly things that can “irritate the nose” and if I knew what “lolling People” were, I would probably stop them from boarding too, but is it fair, reasonable or just to prohibit “mental Patients,” or even “dull-witted Patients” to be forced to spend hours trolling up a mountain instead of sailing up in a few minutes? I don’t think so do you?

The prejudice of the Chinese doesn’t just apply to the unfortunate among us who suffer mental health problems apparently, according to Chinese authorities if you are “liable to carsickness” you must be mentally ill – see point 4.1!

Which all goes to prove that not only should we not buy the shoddy goods manufactured in China which are made to the ‘break out of the box’ principle, we shouldn’t go to China on holiday either.

About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Shoes, Feet And Other ‘Insults’

Cat World, The Cat's Travelogue No Responses »

Nov 292011

I was going through some old pictures and when I came across this one (below) it reminded me of my aimless wanderings that resulted in the writing of my wonderful masterpiece ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (if you are one of the few people on the planet not to have a copy you can get it discreetly here www.amazon.com and no one will ever know that you didn’t have one of the latest trendiest ‘must have consumer products’ because you can pretend that you had it all the time).

The picture comes from the ultra modern high rising cement constructed emirate of UAE and brought back all sorts of dreadful memories of a place where the contradictions of life are many, various and confusing to say nothing of their translations into English!

Imagine spending $20 billion on an hotel – imagine the Burj Khalifa – and then try to imagine why you wouldn’t spend $20 on correctly translating a sign from Gulf Arabic to English, if you can do that then you can imagine just what life is like in Dubai or the UAE!

The UAE is a place where ‘foreigners’ are loathed, but welcomed so that they can fill the seven star hotels and try their hardest to buy at least a tenth of all of the dreadful modern and over priced real estate that has been thrown up for them on newly created ‘islands’ in the middle of enormous lagoons which are now sadly sinking back into the depths of the lagoons from where they were dredged up.

The UAE is a place that likes to pretend that it is modern, go ahead and forward thinking but can’t do more than pretend, take a recent innocent example of a multinational shoe manufacturer (Puma) who thought that the very rich inhabitants of the UAE and the tourists, who troll around the place gaping at the enormous buildings, pleasure parks and the greater number of building sites where construction has ground to a halt, would like a pair of trainers with the UAE flag plastered all over them.

These ‘special edition shoes’ (whatever that can possibly mean) were intended to mark the 40th UAE National Day. All that Puma had to do was to make them and put a stupidly high price on them ($190 because they are special I suppose), stick them in their own stores and ‘bam’ they would be a few million dollars richer even if half of the products sold would have to be returned because they were so badly made in China.

Well it was a brilliant marketing plan what could go wrong?

What went wrong was simple the very conservative inhabitants of the UAE didn’t like the the fact that the nations flag colours were being used on shoes!

At this moment it might be a good idea to cast your mind back to the Iraq war, just at the end when America was being thanked and celebrated before the Iraqis changed their minds, when the enormous statue of old walrus face was toppled and locals started hitting it with their shoes.

Then a short while later after the Iraqis had forgotten all about the repression of the old ways under the tough guy with the big soup strainer and more importantly who had rescued them from torture and terrible moustaches some idiot threw a shoe at Pres. Georgie B, can you see a pattern emerging here?

For some reason in the Arab world, best known only to Arabs, feet and footwear are considered dirty, the Cat who writes blogs thinks that it is such a shame that there isn’t more widespread use shoe polish and foot baths in the Arab world as that surely would sort of solve little problems like this and then the UAE could make a better pretence of being what it pretends to be – a modern country that is a great place for tourists and second home owners. Because as incidents like this demonstrate currently the mind set of the people is still firmly entrenched in prehistoric Wadi mud, remember the Cat who writes blogs is just a Cat and Cats aren’t as clever as humans! Are they? But I have to say this I am glad that Cats have Paws and not feet and never wear shoes, unless they are dressed up by idiot humans – but that is the subject of another blog and nothing to do with this one!

Just imagine for a moment if we were so precious about the British Union Jack or the American Stars and Stripes, we would have tacky mugs, tea towels and souvenir shop rubbish in general, Jimi Hendrix’s masterpiece of guitar playing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ would be lost forever and we would never have had anything to roll our ‘herbal’ cigarettes in at college would we?

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America, American, British, China, Paws, Pres. Bush, Saddam Hussein, The Cat, The Cat who writes blogs, The Cat’s Travelogue, Travelogue, www.amazon.com, UAE, Dubai, Wadi, Arab World, Burj Khalifa, Tourist, Puma, UAE Flag, 40th UAE National Day, Iraqis, President Bush, Union Jack, Stars and Stripes, Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner, George Bush

Thanksgiving Bombshell – Happy Thanksgiving To All My Readers

Cat World, Human World, Thanksgiving 4 Responses »

Nov 242011

I’m a very inquisitive Cat and so usually I like to find out a lot of interesting information about places, events and so on and so forth and then turn them into little jokes, you just have to read either ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ or ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ to know that; which is why I think I have failed the entire American Nation today and that makes me at the very least very downcast.

It seems a shame that there just isn’t much to say about Thanksgiving that is particularly interesting, weird or funny if, that is, you want to talk about odd traditions and practices and I do.

Yes I’ll admit there are some strange Thanksgiving Day notions such as the one that says you have to knock a few times on wood before putting the Turkey into the oven so that it will be tender and succulent, to say nothing of the fact that it’s best to first check the Turkey’s pulse! But that isn’t really an odd tradition like the ones that lurk around old Europe as Pres. George Bush once called us lot over here.

You know the sort of odd tradition I’m talking about like the one in Scotland where you must carry a bit of coal in your pocket as you go from dozens of strangers houses on New Year’s Eve and drink vast quantities of other people’s Scotch Whiskey, that’s called either ‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing.’

I’m afraid I have no idea which is right ‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing’ because both words are always said with a Scottish accent which as we all know is very close to incomprehensible nonsense at the best of times and totally alien on New Year’s Eve due to the vast amounts of Scotch Whiskey consumed by the speaker which has an effect not only on the amount of slur added to a Scots persons speech but also the number of ‘o’s’ added to words that not only contain ‘o’s’ normally but ones that have never been spelt with an ‘o’ before! To say nothing of the fact that if you look up ‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing’on the internet all of the results are in American from the awful Wikipedia to the Websters Dictionary they use ‘First-Footing’ with a hyphen between the words and that in the main apart from where it has been used for centuries in the surnames by a few mad aristocratic English families and more recently by a lot of ethnic unmarried couples, is an American invention.

The only thing that is clear about ‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing,’ as the picture below shows, is that you don’t have to be Scottish, look ridiculous and talk nonsense to join in the fun or indeed even wear a kilt!

Prince c in kilt

In fact it seems that the Scots didn’t invent the practice of ‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing’ it gets its name from a Manx Gaelic word ‘Quaaltagh’ so it would seem that the Scots ‘borrowed’ the tradition from the Isle of Man.

‘Firstfooting or ‘First Footing’ is also practiced by the Serb nation who celebrate Polažajnik on New year’s Eve where they go to other people’s houses and get drunk. Even during the worst persecutions of their neighbours in the 1980′s the Serbs didn’t stop the custom.

The Greeks use a word similar to the Serb ‘Polažajnik’ when they go from house to house getting drunk on New Year’s Eve it is ‘Podariko’ for any of you who are vaguely interested and aren’t wondering what on Earth this all has to do with Thanksgiving like I have to say the writer!

So back to Thanksgiving! Happily (for me) I did discover one potential bombshell about Thanksgiving though and that is that if Thanksgiving has officially been an annual tradition since 1863, when during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of thanksgiving to be celebrated on Thursday, November 26th 1863 it may not be a day of celebration for the whole country!

Abe Lincoln

I hear you ask what does that mad Cat mean?

Well if President (of the Union States only) Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of thanksgiving in the middle of the Civil War only the North would have observed it, I can’t imagine President Jefferson Davis and the rest of the Southern Nation embracing a Northern President’s ideas can you?

Not only that in 1861 President Jefferson Davis issued this proclamation about Thanksgiving Day which said it should be “a day of fasting, humiliation and prayer,” now that doesn’t sound like the sort of day that most Americans are going to have today does it? Although I expect it would make Turkeys all over the United States very happy indeed.

Jeff Davis

The reason why the Confederate States of America celebrated Thanksgiving Day for the first time in 1861 was not really Pilgrim related either. It was to celebrate a series of victories by Confederate forces in the east and west of the CSA and that’s probably not something that dear old Abe had in mind when he ‘invented’ Thanksgiving in 1863 is it.

Isn’t history wonderful?

So to lighten the mood and possibly to prevent a war between the south and north of America breaking out once again here are some Thanksgiving jokes.

Why did the Pilgrims eat Turkey at Thanksgiving?

Because they couldn’t fit a Moose in the oven!

What’s the best way to stuff a Turkey?

Get it to eat lots of pizza and ice cream!

If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be most famous for?

Their age of course!

If you do want to hear loads of exciting, unusual and generally hilariously dotty traditions, practices and other mad things that humans get up to, let alone this Cat, then you could do no worse than read either, or better still both, of my wonderful works of feline literary genius which happily you can find either as paperback or ebooks here!

Paperback edition of Getting Out at Amazon.com

Kindle edition of Getting Out at Amazon.com

Paperback edition of The Cat’s Travelogue at Amazon.com

Kindle edition of The Cat’s Travelogue at Amazon.com

Lastly the really good news about Thanksgiving Day is that it was made in America (based on an English idea) and not made in China (copied from every nation’s original thought) and that means that it will last forever and not have been broken before it was taken out of the box, like all expensive rubbish that the hamfisted Chinese knock up over there!

I HOPE THAT YOU ALL HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND PURRS TO ALL MY CUDDLY READERS

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Oldham’s Bid To Rival China

Human World 2 Responses »

Nov 142011

Normally I ‘wobble on,’ as someone once said though I personally don’t agree, about the worse than dreadful craftsmanship (if you can call it that) of the Chinese and their hamfisted attempts to produce manufactured (and I use that word lightly) goods so it is with a heavy heart and a rarely experienced degree of reluctance that I give you Oldham’s attempt to take back some of the manufacturing jobs that they lost to China.

If You want Craftsmanship don t go to Oldham

Please note the precision and excellence of construction, the care and attention to detail and most of all the quality control.

As the sign says – well the bit that is the right way up that you can read – “Oldham is working for a co-operative borough” or words to that effect, while pondering just how many ‘work people’ (you can no longer call them ‘workmen’ in such a forward looking place) working ‘co-operatively’ it took to construct the sign I was also trying to work out what that strap line actually meant!

Are they suggesting that the entire area become some sort of enormous workers co-operative where more examples of this type of constructive freedom, that comes with this sort of endeavour, can be experienced you know like streetlights buried upside down and footpaths that foul dogs!

Here are some interesting (I promise) facts about Oldham

I didn’t visit Oldham when writing my latest block busting book ‘The Cats Travelogue’

Oldham is in England

England is in Europe

Oldham is a large town in Greater Manchester

Oldham has little early history to speak of

Oldham was a boomtown of the Industrial Revolution

Oldham was among the first ever industrialised towns

Oldham was the most productive cotton spinning mill town in the world at the height of the industrial revolution Oldham spun more cotton than France and Germany put together

In late May 2001 Oldham hosted 3 days of race riots

Oldham is a bit run down (see picture below of the railway station in 2010

Oldham is a bit run down

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China, Dogs, The Cat’s Travelogue, Oldham, Manufacturing, Crafstmanship, streetlights, Race Riots

Save Tigers And Do It Now

Cat World, The Cat's Travelogue No Responses »

Nov 102011

While having my breakfast of tasty Prawns with a side of Prawns and a bag of Prawns to go sitting next to me on the diner table I was reading the newspaper.

I rarely read newspapers because I believe that if you want to ruin your day read a newspaper at breakfast and if you want to ruin your life become famous, like me, and have News International eavesdrop on your every phone call, read your mail, hack your computer and sift your trash while trying to gather dirt on you. So far that have failed thanks to my satellite phone a little tip I learned from someone I was talking to in the CIA several years ago.

I have to say here that when I was talking to this lady from the CIA I thought that ‘CIA’ was an abbreviation for China International Airways and to be honest I didn’t discover what the letters really CIA stood for until I climbed aboard what I thought was a small China International Airways jet at an airport in Pakistan while researching my latest unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (available here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition and if you want an ebook here The Cat’s Travelogue ebook boy was I in for a surprise I can tell you, and if you read my latest work of feline literary genius you will know exactly what I am talking about here!

Anyway, so there I was reading the newspaper and getting ever more depressed, when I think I have reached rock bottom after reading three articles about four politicians in three totally different countries who were all displaying their own special type of ineptitude that singles them out for a career in politics when my eye caught this headline:-

“Is it time to give up on Tigers and Pandas? – Controversial plans to save one species at expense of another are gathering pace”

The it went on to say:-

“A majority of professional conservationists believe it is time to consider shifting efforts away from some of the world’s most famous species, such as the Panda, to concentrate on others which have a greater chance of success.”

Panda

So is that what humans have come to? They have hunted animals to extinction destroyed their habitat to grow beef for McDonalds then a few decades ago seen the light and started to conserve species instead of running rough shod over them and now they have decided, because trying to protect animals is too much like hard work, to choose one species over another because they can’t cope with their own destructiveness which so drastically affects all of the other animals and creepy crawlies who share the planet Earth.

Well all I have to say is shame on you humans for taking so much of the Earth’s resources and leaving so little for wildlife, shame on you conversationalists and in particular shame on the charity the World Wildlife Fund for taking so much money and pretending to give a damn about animals and obviously failing so miserably.

I would also like to say that if there has to be a choice between Pandas and Tigers we should save Tigers they are not only better looking, they are also more interesting, more active, distant cousins of mine and better still if their numbers were to grow significantly they might just start getting their own back and start eating humans!

2 Siberian Tigers

At least there is one positive to come out of this article and that’s that you can stop giving your hard earned folding stuff to the WWF!

As I have said time and again all charities are absolutely useless and this article proves that, if you ever doubted my word, instead you can of course send all of your spare cash to this Cat and make his life amazingly comfortable, unlike a charity I will spend you money wisely and choose only the finest Prawns, the best cars, hotels and employ only the most qualified staff to attend to my every need, which are many and various.

I do hope that people start to see how dreadful charities are now in the light of what these conversationalists are proposing. I was telling people 15 years ago just how greedy and corrupt banks were and now they are seeing it, let’s hope it doesn’t take the same length of time for the public to see just how much alike charities and banks are, they only care about themselves and nothing else even the things they are set up to protect, help, nurture or whatever else they waffle on about as they hold their hands out for you cash.

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Worrying Switches At An Hotel In China

Cat World, Human World No Responses »

Oct 262011

Here is yet another sign that I noticed on my recent travels around the world bumping into idiots and obviously their signs, this one is from the capital of China a dreadful backward place with little or no morals as the end of my little tale will demonstrate.

If you’re looking for Smallpox then look no further because at a flick of a switch you can have a dose at this hotel in Beijing and it doesn’t stop there! So dedicated to service and satisfying your every whim this hotel can at the flick of another switch give you lights that can kill.

Chinese Lighting System Small Pox Ded Lights

Just how many hotels do you stay in offer a “Ded Light Switch?” None I bet! So if you want to make sure that the Smallpox Switch does it’s job properly and kills you, you can use your Ded Light Switch they really leave nothing to chance in China.

Mind you if you are a small child and want to end it all you just have to go out into the street in China and either get run over twice by passing motorists like poor little Yue Yue or more recently a 5 year old boy who was killed in a traffic accident in Sichuan province, it wads alleged that the driver of the truck reversed over his body to ensure that the little lad was dead because he didn’t want to have the expense of hospital bills.

In a rather disgusting aside the boy’s family then argued with the truck drive for five hours about the size of compensation he would pay, and if you think that is bad just think about a statement from Li Zekun the head of the Luxian county traffic police team who said that after an investigation found no evidence that the boy had been run over twice, which leads this Cat to think that it is ok to run a 5 year old over once in China.

But really all of the people involved from the Chinese officials, to the truck driver and little lads parents are just plain disgusting, what a good think that it is only a small proportion of the world who are like that, oops it happens in India too and if you combine the populations of those two countries you are getting on for half of mankind who are really quite awful, what a good job there are some nice people in the world and of course millions of Cats great and small.

I have to say honestly that I do like writing blogs and chatting with my lovely readers but, and I hate the fact that Cats can’t lie, I do have an ulterior motive I have to get lovely cuddly readers in the first place and not only of my blogs, oh no it is very important that people buy my books so that I can call them my lovely cuddly readers in the first place – you do understand that.

So if you aren’t one of my lovely cuddly readers and you want to be then all you have to do is to start clicking the links that are below, they will take you to either one of two safe places my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite here www.thecatsdiary.com or good old www.amazon.com where you can buy as many books as you like and if you want to be merry here is a little tip I understand that you humans have a saying the more the merrier!

Here are a selection of links that will take you straight to right places in www.amazon.com to buy either The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or The Cat’s Travelogue ebook.

Because I love the design is the cover of my latest unputdownable book The Cat’s Travelogue, isn’t it great?

And don’t forget you can buy either a paper edition of either or better still both of my books or an ebook format.

Lastly if you missed clicking on the links above here is another chance tee hee!

Gosh that is a lot of information and I have to say it seems as though I might just come over as a bit pushy but a Cat has got to be kept in a life style he is accustomed to doesn’t he?

We all have heard the terrible news today that poor old www.amazon.com have seen their profits drop by 73%. Between you and me I was told (confidentially) that it’s only the sale of my books keeping the poor devils afloat, so that means that you are not only going to make a Cat very happy when you buy loads of my books but also the poor staff at www.amazon.com whose jobs depend on the sales of my books!

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What Do The Chinese Think Of Women – Check Out The Soup!

Human World No Responses »

Oct 192011

The Chinese have been described as really not very nice, they eat Dogs and Cats and recently 18 of them in Foshan city, Guandong province nonchalantly walked passed a small child who had been the victim of a hit and run, first by a van and then a car.

Just the other day two year old little Yue Yue was left writhing in agony in the middle of the road as her countrymen and women stepped around her as if she was merely street litter.

I was going to say they stepped around her as if she was Dogs poo but the stray Dogs in Foshan city are few and far between because they get rounded up for din dins, indeed there have been reports over the last two years that Guandong province diners are running out of their main dinner ingredients because they have eaten all the Dogs and Cats in the area.

So what does a nation that has so little regard for little girls think of women, well as the title says check out the soup!

A Soup Too Far

If you think that the Occupy Wall Street campaigners around the world have a point just imagine what it’s like in China where there are a few very rich and billions of poor who don’t even warrant the attention of passers by if they, like two year old Yue Yue, stray away from their the pavement for a couple of minutes unnoticed by their her mother.

The injustice and inequality that is so common in China is disgusting and has to end – please think about Yue Yue and the attitude of the Chinese to life the next time you want to buy something and if the item is made in China please, please think again about buying it I know I will.

And just before I get off my soap box and have a lie down don’t tell me that we the consumers and voters can’t do anything about China’s inhumanity, it was because of us that China was turned from a mainly agricultural backwater into a manufacturing powerhouse, in 20 or so years, because we wanted so many shiny things.

Well now the people in the towns and cities where we live could do with the jobs and that means they can’t afford their homes let alone the shiny things because they are out of work, so if you buy locally the brand names will get the message and they will bring the factories back to your country.

And you never know we might just be able to send a message to China, goodness knows our politicians won’t they are too busy groveling to them.

Being Very Moral – A Sign From Hungary

Cat World, Human World No Responses »

Oct 072011

Recently I had the misfortune to go to Budapest while researching my forthcoming book The Cat’s Travelogue and I found it to be a tatty place, the buildings are much the same as all other parts of the ex Austro-Hungrarian Empire the plaster covering them is dropping at an alarming rate into the streets.

Worst of all the people are not only tatty (they can’t help that can they?) they are the most miserable bunch of scuffers I have every had the misfortune to be scuffed at.

You can read more about Budapest in my new book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ because unlike China, India, Taiwan, Saudi Arabia and a whole host of other depressing and repressing countries Hungary couldn’t afford the ‘sponsorship’ required to keep their entry out of my very revealing travelogue – tee hee.

So with that in mind the sign on a Budapestian Restaurant car park was more than a little confusing as you can see!

A very Moral Sign From Hungary

Don’t forget to get a copy of my latest unputdownable book and chase those financial blues away as you lose yourself in my world.

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Curried Child Anyone?

Cat World No Responses »

Sep 202011

Ok the publication of my next blockbusting unputdownable book is getting closer as I mentioned yesterday sorry about that but one has to advertise – as President Clinton said if you don’t blow your own trumpet who will an intern? But I digress, here is a picture of a another culinary winner from China which judging by the writing is also a great hit in Japan and Korea “Curry of Mini Child.”

The world is as we know a strange place but it would seem the further east one goes the stranger it gets, you know like going to Brooklyn!

As you can see travelling the world and writing a Travelogue and eating all sorts of weird food was desperately hard, tiring and expensive work even for a good looking Cat and so if you don’t buy my wonderful Travelogue when it comes out I will be deeply distressed and feel very unloved – not to put too much pressure on you dear cuddly readers!

Curried Child

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Cat, China, good looking Cat, Japan, Korea, The Cat’s Travelogue, Travelogue, Curry, President Clinton, Brooklyn

Throwing Caution To The Wind In China

Cat World No Responses »

Aug 152011

The Chinese XXXXX XXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX. XXXX XXXXX XXXX
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XXX XXXXXX X XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX. XXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XX XXX XXXXXX
XXX XXXXXX XXXX. XXXXXXXXXXX XXXX XXX XXXXXXXX XX XXX XXX XXXXXXXX
XXXXXX.

XX XXXXXX XX XXXXX X XXX photograph I saw in China, XXXXXX XX XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX
XX X XXXXXX XXXX XXX.

X XXXX XX XXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX idiots XXXXX XX XXXXXXXX XX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

X XX XXXX XXX XXXXXXX XX X XXXX XXXXX XX XXX XXX XXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XX
XXX X XX XXXX XXXXXXX XXX X XXX happily they can’t read English or indeed translate Chinese into English of course, just look at this picture taken in XX XXXXXX XXX X XX XX. Or do they simply use Google Translate? X XXX XXX, XXXXX X XXX!

CENSORED BY THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA

Well dear reader as you can see China has agreed to sponsor my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and in accepting their sponsorship I have agreed to allow them to review all of my blog posts and delete the chapters dedicated to my travels in China from my wonderful book.

My sponsorship arrangements do extend to other countries and tends to work like this. I sent a copy of the relevant chapters to countries which I thought might be interested in ‘sponsoring’ me and in exchange for a large ‘consideration’ I will exclude their country from my unputdownable thriller of a book.

Unfortunately this practice has been describe by some of the more outraged countries as “blackmail” but to my way of thinking blackmail is a dirty word and I prefer sponsorship.

My sponsorship deals have had a significant impact on my book though and mean that the book is growing and shrinking more than an Accordian playing the Star Wars theme, it also means that if the countries in question stop providing their generous sponsorship my wonderful forthcoming book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ may well be one of very few books to actually get bigger with each imprint as my sponsors have been warned!

Having said that the word ‘sponsorship’ is nicer than ‘blackmail’ I have to say that the Bush administration truly knifed the word ‘sponsorship’ in the ribs at the rear didn’t it, when they started to describe countries as sponsors of terrorism. Odd really that you never saw a car bomber or indeed his car emblazoned with the logos of their sponsor countries!

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Older Entries

The Cat's Blog

No Mental Patients Allowed – It Must Be China

Shoes, Feet And Other ‘Insults’

Thanksgiving Bombshell – Happy Thanksgiving To All My Readers

Oldham’s Bid To Rival China

Save Tigers And Do It Now

Worrying Switches At An Hotel In China

What Do The Chinese Think Of Women – Check Out The Soup!

Being Very Moral – A Sign From Hungary

Curried Child Anyone?

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