Tag Archives: Citibank

Advisers to all international banks

Have you ever wondered if there is one organisation that is so powerful, so clever, and so canny that they advise every single international bank?

If you have wondered then you would be right and The Cat has managed to get a photograph, and publish it for the first time ever in any publication, of the offices of the geniuses who advised JP Morgan only recently and in the past have offered sound investment advice to such risk taking heroes of the financial world as Goldman Sachs, Citibank and well you get the picture…

Ladies and gentlemen, and of course my dear cuddly readers I give you CHANCY INVESTMENTS of Malawi honest advisers to the banking world, who’d have thought that the world’s entire banking system was run, and of course regulated, by such an august institution.

Advisers to all international banks Malawi



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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One Bail-Out Package Please!

No Way Out.jpg

For a number of months now I have noticed that both companies (namely banks but also insurance companies) and nations that have spent too much are getting really rather large bail-outs and I would like to know if any of my readers know where I can get mine because I have just heard that Ireland has gone for the big one and quite frankly if they qualify then so do I?

Why should I have an enormous bail-out well I have diligently followed the examples of the frivolous banks, building societies and countries and bought things I don’t need with money that I don’t have and now I want the first installment of my reward.

I deserve a mind bogglingly large bail-out because it is very very difficult to spend a million Euros/Dollars or Pounds let alone getting on for a billion I can tell you and quite frankly even I have to take my hat off (if I had one) to the guys at Lehman Bros, HBOS, Bank of America, Citibank, Lloyds Bank, Greece, Spain, Portugal and of course the star spenders of them all Ireland; they have done an incredible job of spending money that they didn’t ever have a hope of having and most definitely could never earn.

Personally I think that it is only fair that I should get a sizable bail-out package even though I am a just a Cat because I know that even if I haven’t qualified yet I can be as reckless as the star spenders mentioned above who like any Cat or indeed other dumb animal don’t know the value of what they have bought only that it must have been good because it cost so much.

What is it my Mum used to say – if you read my book you will remember I said she said “Jump” well they were the last words she said, but she also said that “fools” or were they “finance ministers know the price of everything and the value of nothing!”

Please send my bail-out to my Paypal address thecat@thecatsdiary.com. There that is simple enough even a finance minister could follow those instructions couldn’t they?

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