Tag Archives: Clever Cat

The train arriving on platform 1 will be in your front room!

A train in your front room Hanoi Vietnam

No I couldn’t believe it either! I bet you have to look both ways even when you come out of the toilet, oh sorry you are probably looking at that in the street by the looks of it!

And as for what happens in the kitchen when you want to do the washing, well I will leave this picture to explain because words fail me.

Hanoi Vietnam

One thing I do know is that people shouldn’t have to live like this, it’s not Bangladesh is it?

So now comes the question, would you like to live in Hanoi? Or should the question be, who allowed those houses to be built so close to a train track? Ho Chi Minh has a lot to answer for, obviously!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Oh dear, what a dreadful name for soap!

The Arabs will believe anything

It isn’t only the name of soap that is more than a little than ‘off-putting,’ it’s what it claims it can do!

Ok I can understand a soap being “Clean & Clear” you can have opaque soaps but even this Cat can’t imagine that you humans would want a ‘dirty’ soap! And yes I tend to agree that “Anti-Bacterial” soaps are useful.

However soap that provides an “unpleasant Odor (odour) is not really necessary and what on Earth do they mean by “Tightening?”

I have a few questions for the makers of this product here are two:

1. – Just what will the soap attempt to ‘tighten?’

2. – Why would you want to tighten anything with soap? I tend to think that’s what screwdrivers and spanners are for, don’t you dear cuddly readers?

Oh if you would like to buy Virginity Soap, (or do I want to say if you are daft enough to want to buy this product), then pop down to Dubai’s largest trading centre, the Dragon Mart, where they are selling a Virginity soap for 25 dirham a bar with the promise that it tightens muscles.

Happily I am not going to go into which muscles these naughty Dubai sales people are talking about because nice people read my blogs!

There are, or seem to be far too many bars of this nonsense soap, which promises so much but probably only delivers disappointment, on the market in the east which if you are lucky doesn’t do you any harm and if unlucky might produce all sorts of problems, but I had to laugh at this particular bar of Virginity Soap, what do you dear gentle cuddly reader think about it?

Lady Diania Virginity Soap

I laughed even more when I read that this priceless soap (only 25 dirham a bar) is Non-Comedogenic which I took to mean, initially, something to do with Dog Genes, and until I looked up what ‘Comedogenic’ really means.

Apparently ‘Comedogenic’ describes something that has a tendency to clog, like a cream that gets stuck in your pores. So at least if you are going to plaster this rubbish over your skin you won’t be able to see the results!

You know I would like to know why do manufacturers use words like that!

Just look on the side of a Shampoo bottle, any Shampoo bottle will do in fact and you will see one ingredient that appears time and again ‘Aqua’ all of which means that the Shampoo manufacturer wouldn’t like you to know that they use water in the making of your Shampoo, personally I would be relieved to know they use water and not say, oh I don’t know, Sulphuric Acid!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Randy!

Down Pussy  Italy

Down Pussy! No wait, what am I saying this is Cat litter how can it possibly make a Cat ‘randy’ I am a cat, I use Cat litter and it doesn’t have that effect on me.

Mind you I am not Italian. So is it only Italian Cats that are effected in this way?

Maybe it also effects Italian politicians and if it does that would explain a lot about this fat Cat wouldn’t it? Still at least this one is going to be out of the loop for a while, I hope he can keep his hands to himself, because where he is going he will need too!

Italian pm

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

If you are looking for more out of a hat…

Yes, if you are looking for more from a hat than just keeping the sun out of your eyes or creating a weird mark around your head then look no further because the clever old Israelis have come up with a ‘winner.’

Fany hats an Isreali speciality

Yes that’s right a hat that doubles as a fanny or is that fany! This of course means so much more to use English speakers, in the US it is a back bottom and in the UK a front one tee hee!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

The UK – not open for business

The fool that runs the finances in the UK says that the UK is open for business! I think that this picture tells a rather different story, and I believe it’s called ‘the truth!’ It appears that the UK is not only not open for business it isn’t into training either!

The UK  not open for business

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

A special place in Haywards Heath, Sussex

Well now I know where Angelina Jolie got some of her children from. Yes the Christmas nearly new baby sale in Haywards Heath Sussex, in the south of the UK.

For all your nearly new baby requirements

If you need a nearly new baby and you want one that isn’t dented or is not very appealing I suggest you get to the Franklands Village Hall promptly at 13.00 because it would seem that the sale only lasts for an hour and a half!

Does anyone know what happens to the nearly new babies that aren’t sold? Poor things, fancy being rejected so often at such an early age! I wonder what it does to them, maybe that is where politicians come from?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Denis – the French think the world of him!

Denis he was always ernest

Have you ever wondered who is the greatest hero of the French nation? Wonder no more, it is good old Denis of course an ernest chap if ever there was one!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

What’s in a name?

In answer to the question posed by this blog’s title. Quite a lot really and to prove that here is Denmark’s entry into the Unfortunate Place Names competition!

Unfortunate place names  Denmark s entry

Go for it Denmark!

Just one question! What has a Dog on a lead got to do with the name of the town? Or is that it’s mascot.

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

So that is where babies come from!

Simple isn’t it?

So that is where babies come from

And for those of you who don’t know much in the way of Italian I will translate (well to the best of my ability, I am a Cat after all!)

‘Sanitaria Profumeria’ means literarily ‘health perfumery!’ What that actually is I don’t know and so I suggest that you draw your own conclusions!

Personally I think it’s a place that idiots frequent to purchase very expensive and utterly useless ‘health’ products and all sorts of other pointless nonsense like Homeopathic Medicine and daft vitamins that they don’t need. I bet you could who that you will bump into prince Charles in one, or indeed some other flake in one. Which is one of the reasons he probably will never get the promotion to king a promotion he has coveted for many a long year!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Something to chew on from New Zealand

Something to chew on

Now I defy anyone to shout out “Ox Penis – oh my favourite, yummy!”

Happily I have been told that Ox Penis is not the national dish of New Zealand it just occasionally thrusts its way onto some menus!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?