Tag Archives: Dogs

An Unusual Shop In Paris

Dead Rats Old
I thought I would share a couple of photographs which I took when I was in Paris the other day.

Etablissements Julien Aurouze, Paris is an odd little shop as you can see from the display in the window they sell Rat traps and all sorts of other things that snap and dispatch the furry kind such as gulp yours truly.

As you can see from their window display of far too many dead Rats the stuff they sell does seem to work all too well.

Mind you for those of you who are like me and have a delicate constitution to match their stomach I can tell you happily that the rats in the window are preserved Rats and have been on display since 1925.

It’s a bit worrying that they look so fresh until you realise that Madam Tussaud was born in the neighbourhood and look what she has done to major and minor celebrities.

Some say that the shop was featured in the Disney movie Ratatoullie maybe one of my clever readers could say whether that is true or not because of course I don’t watch movies about Rats or Dogs for that matter so I don’t know if that is the truth.

Dead Rats Colour

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

No Barking! Finally A Sign I Like.

It isn’t often, especially in the middle of a Middle East Spring when you can pat the Saudi Arabian authorities on the back and say “job well done.”

But you have to give credit where credit is due and as this sign shows the Saudi Arabian government has decided to outlaw ‘barking.’ In this Cat’s humble opinion (yes the humble bit was a joke) the outlawing of barking hasn’t come too soon. Barking is a dreadful noisy habit and should be outlawed – maybe next the Saudi’s will go further and outlaw Dogs as well after all they have some pretty daft laws don’t they?

No Barking Saudi Arabia

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , ,

Yuri Gagarin Day Today

First of all it is Yuri Gagarin day today and I have to say that he was really a very cool human. The first human in space is a pretty big thing, but then on the other paw humans were beaten into space by Monkeys, Dogs and Cats some of whom not only made it into space but returned back to the Earth like Yuri Gagarin.

Yuri Gagarin 12 April 1960

It’s sad to think that the humans who helped all of those brave animals into space didn’t always have a plan for their return and all too many Cats, Dogs and Monkeys died in order to make sure that it was safe for mankind to tiptoe into the stars.

Belka Strelka

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , ,

Cats vs Fishermen

In a contest that involves wit, brains, guile and of course good looks a Cat will always beat a Fisherman.

And here is the proof. As you can see in the first photograph the Cat has found something interesting in the Fisherman’s nice shiny bucket, I was going to say that the Cat had found the Fisherman’s ‘tackle’ interesting but that just sounded weird!

Cat vs Fisherman 1

Very slowly, quietly and carefully the Cat does what cats do best, helps himself to something tasty and all while the idiot on the Quay is fiddling with his rod – mmh fishing terminology sounds just a little rude sometimes doesn’t it? But only if you don’t have pure thoughts.

Cat vs Fisherman 2

Which all goes to show that it isn’t only Dogs that drool while Cats rule is it!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , ,

One Man’s Dog. Is Another’s Outlaw!

In the ‘good old’ days of the brilliant but balding Chairman Mao the rules were simple people were allowed one child, a ‘brilliant’ little edict that caused unimaginable harm to come to so many female babies, and keeping a Dog was banned because it was considered a ‘bourgeois decadence.’

But now as Chairman Mao spins like a top, without a topknot, in his grave keeping a pet Dog is seen as trendy, so trendy that there are nearly a three quarters of a million Dogs kept as pets, and happily their owners never think of them as lunch, in the city of Shanghai alone – but then hasn’t Shanghai always been a bit of the decadent bourgeois side hasn’t it?

In fact the number of people in Shanghai indulging themselves in what was until so very recently a bourgeois decadence is so great that the city authorities have decided that the time has come to do what all governments from Shanghai to Sidcup do and that is introduce legislation to ‘control’ the number of Dogs kept by Shanghians especially as horror of horrors only 140,000 of the Dog owners have licensed their Dogs with the police.

The new law means that if you don’t currently have a license for your Dog then you may as well have it for lunch because you aren’t going to be able to apply for one, but oddly enough if you already have two licensed Dogs you can keep them for companionship purposes rather than culinary.

In a rather odd statement the Shanghai police declared that “they are expecting they will have to adopt many of the Dogs once they are declared outlaws.”

Let’s hope that the multitudes of Shanghai’s outlaw Dogs don’t lead the police astray and start robbing trains, drinking moonshine liquor and having gun fights at corrals with two letter names – ‘OK!’

Dogs in Shanghai

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , ,

The Snow Has Decided To Cover Everything

If this were ‘Santa Time’ and it was December the 25th looking out of my window would be a pleasure because snow is festive, but this much on a work day is totally unacceptable.

As you can see from the photograph this is what I have to wade through in order to get the the Barrandov movie studio today.

Mind you if you are an autograph collector then you are going to have a field day because I have left loads of paw prints and as all my loyal and lovely fans and readers know ‘pawing’ is the way I autograph their books.

But speaking of leaving ‘marks’ in the snow I would like to complain about Dogs (yet again, the yellow marks they leave in the snow are totally unacceptable, we all know that but do they? Of course they don’t, and they aerial widdle to their hearts content along the pathway and in fact all the way to the studio.

Dogs are disgusting and they terrible thing is that they know it – we have all seen Dogs, in all weathers, rolling in fresh p** oh the thought of it is just too awful for a Cat with sensibilities to consider.

Now don’t get me wrong I like Dogs the shaggy German Shepherd Dog I keep here has his uses as you will know from my amazingly successful and desperately funny bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’

‘Ben,’ that is the dozily shaggy hounds name is great to snuggle up next to in the depths of winter – well about now actually – although sometimes he smells as though he ‘rolls’ in ‘something’ if you know what I mean!

When he smells like that you have to weigh up ‘warmth’ against ‘odour’ and that is a terrible choice that even Sophie would find difficult to make, but leaving Merly Streep aside for a moment, I bet my female readers and fans can identify with that conundrum!

Foot prints in the snow.jpg

For anyone who hasn’t bought my book or worse never heard of ‘me’ (if that is at all possible) until today there are several things you can do to save yourself so follow these instructions very carefully.

The first is to click here and buy my book Amazon.com and the second is to go to my www – wickedly wonderful website and catch up – you have a lot of catching up to do – and if you want to kill two birds with one paw (so to speak) then you could choose to buy my book at my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com while you spend hours learning about probably the most famous, talented and modest Cat around.

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Unusual Signs

Humans as I think I have said in my latest book at Amazon.com and any number of times on my wonderful blog are rather odd.

Humans display these oddities in all sorts of ways and one of the most novel ways is in sign language. I have been collecting some signs that have been erected all over the world by humans who have carefully and deliberately, it would seem, disengaged their brains before writing the sign.

Strange Dog - Aren't they All?.jpg

“Aren’t all Dogs strange?”

Don’t forget that Christmas is coming and giving someone a copy of my book would be an honour for both parties you can get an electronic version of my wonderful book at most ebook retailers online, at Amazon.com and of course my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com.

book-cover.jpg

“What a brilliant book cover it should be a sign!”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , ,