Dec 232011
 

Yesterday I walked into a the front room and was treated to the same experience as walking on glass, there was Lego everywhere and the nasty sharp little edges bit and cut my paws, what a shame I wasn’t wearing my non-slip booty socks that I am absolutely certain someone will buy me for Christmas – someone who doesn’t much care for me of course because we all know I want a Motor Yacht!

I just don’t get Lego and can’t for the life of me understand the attraction of so many bits and pieces and odd little lego shaped figures. Apparently there is a box of Lego bits that if you have the patience makes something called a Uni Mog and if you are like me this is where you say “so what!”

Why would anyone want to make a lego Uni Mog? I have no idea frankly, and to make matters worse although I have no real clear idea what a ‘Uni Mog’ looks like I am pretty sure it does’t look like the picture below. Just to put the Uni Mog business to bed I should for the sake of detailed reporting say that the Uni Mog is the biggest, most complicated Lego Technic set on sale consists of 2,048 pieces! It costs over $300! What a waste! Imagine for a moment just how many Prawns you can get for three hundred big ones!

Uni Mog

I was in London the other day Eurostarring. I had to make some visits to shops featuring my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and sign them for the throngs of happy people who had waited hours in the rain in Brussels, Paris and London, well I say ‘happy’ that of course is a little truth wrestling the crowds weren’t happy to wait in the rain but they cheered up with a few personally ‘pawed’ (my way of signing) books.

I had just stepped off the rather dirty Eurostar train and was confronted by the 40 ft high Lego Christmas Tree in the main concourse of St Pancras Station which apparently according to the sign standing, mainly unread, in front of it was made using 600,000 pieces by the children from the Harpenden Explorer Scouts, Edith Neville Primary School in Camden and Copenhagen Primary School in Islington.

Lego Xmas Tree

The forlorn sign under the Christmas Tree where in a normal world wrapped presents would sit goes on to say that the Lego Christmas Tree took the young ones ‘just’ two months to build.

What a shame they wasted their time, like all things ‘Lego’ the Lego Christmas looks very little like the real life object. But then the world isn’t real is it and the only reason there aren’t any presents under the Lego Christmas Tree is that a pile of presents would be a wonderful place to leave a rather ‘unchristmasy’ bomb.

Do you think that the Lego Christmas Tree was worth all that trouble? Just look at the terrible tyre marks made by the crane thinly that put it together to say nothing of the school time wasted by the children who ‘helped’ decorate it, surely they would be better off reading err… my books for instance.

Lego Xmas Tree 2

Technorati Tags:
, , , , ,

Dec 232009
 

Hello all my cuddly friends. I would have been blogging earlier but I was one of those hundreds, (oh how I want to add thousands to the hundreds there just for effect) who were abandoned, ignored and uncared for by EuroStar recently when the train I was whizzing from Paris to London on stopped whizzing.

article-1237102-07A5F719000005DC-53_634x378.jpg

Alarmingly the lights went out and people started to wonder “wtf” as I believe they say these days.

Well the ‘f’ was that we were stranded, abandoned and… well you get the picture, or you would have got a good quality picture if I had been packing a Camera but my trip to Paris was light, and I just had my iphone so the picture is not very good at all.

Actually I always travel to Paris ‘light’ because there are just so many pickpockets there, but adding that helpful piece of travel information is drifting away from the point and the drama of this little blog.

Is a little blog a blogette by the way? Mmmh, who knows!

Anyway there we were at first in a situation that would have made a passable comedy, and they when my iphone died the situation became dire, everyone knows that you can’t be disconnected from your mobile phone even for a second, the world may collapse and there would be no way of emailing the pictures of it happening, as it happens, which of course was exactly what my fellow travellers, or should I call them waiters, were doing as well as waiting for the train to start chugging again, which it didn’t!

As the hours slipped away and stiff upper lipped English people got tired of slapping the faces of whimpering Gallic ones while shouting “get a hold of yourself,” and “panicking won’t help, you know!” And they eventually began to panic too, I have to say this good looking Cat fell asleep and woke up rescued, which was very nice, some one had thought to bring hot Tomato Soup and Corned Beef Sandwiches and there was a spirit of the blitz about the EuroStar coach, although I have to say that was coming mainly from the EuroStar staff who were being shouted at a lot.

It was only later that I discovered the horrible truth of the depths to which some humans has stooped and then actually gone lower, just for the hell of it.

The scene apparently was like something from a co-educational ‘Lord of the Flies’ with human sacrifices and cannibalism, honestly you humans are odd, if you were hungry you should have popped down to the buffet car surely.

All in all my frozen experience was different to everyone else’s who were on the stranded EuroStar train, I wonder if that is because I don’t automatically expect to receive vast sums of the folding stuff in compensation, surely not!

Anyway here’s a Happy Christmas to one and all! Yes I did watch the Muppet’s Christmas Carol last night!

It really is up there with the best, I can see why Charlie Dickens wrote it especially for the Muppets they play it with a lot of feeling and understanding and I also have to say that Charlie Dickens screenplays are so much better than his novels which are really a bit dull but, and it is a big ‘but,’ you have to listen to the words of the songs he wrote specifically for this movie they are just sublime.

“Just one more slept till Christmmmmas”

Cat On EuroStar.jpg

Technorati Tags:
, , , ,