May 102011
 

Recently in a suburb of London it took twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours…to rescue a KITTEN from a tree, and to this Cat that seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

A dozen firefighters sealed off a road for 30 hours and eventually brought in a hydraulic hoist to rescue a Cleo a Kitten who had lost her way when climbing a tree and instead of climbing down had gone the wrong way and climbed almost all the way to the top of a 50ft tree.

The Tree

The wonderful, brave and patient firefighters at first used a water cannon to ‘encourage Cleo the Kitten to climb down the tree, not to knock her out of the tree it has to be stress but that only forced Cleo to climb higher up the tree – but then we all know about Cats and water don’t we?

It was only after the firefighters called in reinforcements and a ‘cherry picker-style’ hydraulic device, that a fearless fireman was able to grab Cleo and bring her back down to earth.

A Happy Ending

Before leaving the patient firemen advised the Kitten’s human to put wire mesh around the base of the tree so that the Cleo wouldn’t be able to climb up the tree and cause such a commotion in future.

The Cat’s Opinion

First I have to say that people who have Cats and trees in their garden and don’t want to repeat the palaver described above should do what the clever firefighters suggested and put Chicken Wire around the base of the tree.

Secondly I think that firefighters are just wonderful and should have their salaried doubled immediately.

Lastly as I said above, but it is worth saying again twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours to rescue a Kitten from a tree, seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jan 012011
 

I thought that I would start the year with a sobering thought, it’s healthy to occasionally face up to reality and of course to realise that you humans are not the super race you seem to believe you are!

I don’t suppose that many of you super human humans know that the human brain has been shrinking for the last 20,000 years and the really bad news is that this decrease in the size of humans brains follows two million years of steady growth in the size of the human cranium.

Shcool.jpg

And don’t think for a moment because you are a man or a woman or you come from somewhere that seems to breed bright very intelligent people you can escape this problem because the incredible shrinking of human brains is happening all over the world, to both sexes and every race.

Fortunately I can confidently predict that you humans have a lot of time left to be the super race that you so enjoy being but you all are obviously going to have to be careful of a another race that already gives you taller animals a run for you money – The Cat and of course this Cat in particular!

The good news is that some scientists believe that humans will never become as daft as – oh say a German Shepherd Dog.

Daft Dog.jpg

Indeed some scientists have recently said that the human brain may have stopped shrinking and started to get bigger, which is all very well and good for your children’s children’s children but doesn’t say much for the humans kicking around at the moment, which I believe is err one up for Cats again.

There are some exceptions to the rule that Cats are very intelligent and as an example I give you – Dave The Cat, founding and only member of the ‘Bobble-Less Hat Club’ sporting his latest bobble less hat, bless him!

Dave the Cat 2.png

If you didn’t read yesterday’s blog because you had accidentally locked yourself out of your house, unfortunately trapped your head in some railings or had to call out the Fire Department to help rescue a Cat from a tree you probably missed my wish that all my readers have a wonderful New Year so here it is again.

Happy New Year!

PS

First I would like to say that this is the third or fourth ‘PS’ in a row in my blogs recently I think, and that is in my opinion three or four ‘PS’s’ too many but here is an important PS anyway!

The ‘Bobble-Less Hat Club,’ founded by someone who calls himself a friend of mine, is looking for new members and if you are interested in joining then do drop me a line at my usual and of course unique email address thecat@thecatsdiary.com or you can do the same through the contact form on my wickedly wonderful website – www.thecatsdiary.com.

Actually I wanted to say that the ‘Bobble-Less Hat Club’ was ‘desperately’ looking for new members but the founding member, chair Cat and general Dog’s body (a term he still hasn’t quite grasped) asked me to delete the word ‘desperately’ because he thought that it sounded as though the club was having problems recruiting new members!

The founding member, chair Cat and general Dog’s body qualified this statement by saying that he hadn’t had any trouble at all joining this excellent club when he joined!

Sometimes I worry about Dave the Cat and then other times I don’t, those are the times when I decide that he is really happy being Dave the Cat and we should be pleased for him too!

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , ,