Tag Archives: free on-line games

Do You Know What Are You Eating?

Don’t you wonder what the something is? I know I do! If you look closely at the ‘delicious’ picture from this restaurant you can see a lot of things that might be added to the beef in addition to the Chilli Sauce.

Do You Know What Are You Eating

So far I can see tiny pulse like things that I think are maggots. Something green which is obviously the famous ‘green thing’ that is in all Chinese meals in China but banned from Chinese takeaways in the West. Is that the edge of an Octopus’s arm towards the bottom in the middle I think so don’t you?

Definitely there is a bit of vomit on the left of the picture and I have a feeling that the whole thing turned and started looking at me with the look of a bully in a fairground who asks “what are you looking at?’ To which the answer always sadly seems to be a beating at best or death at worst.

One thing I do know is that I love Chinese food, but not enough to eat Sliced Beef and Something in Chilli Sauce that’s for sure!


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Sorry About The Incontinence?

How do they know that the reader suffers from incontinence that is what I want to know? Sorry About The Incontinence

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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An Unusual Shop In Paris

Dead Rats Old
I thought I would share a couple of photographs which I took when I was in Paris the other day.

Etablissements Julien Aurouze, Paris is an odd little shop as you can see from the display in the window they sell Rat traps and all sorts of other things that snap and dispatch the furry kind such as gulp yours truly.

As you can see from their window display of far too many dead Rats the stuff they sell does seem to work all too well.

Mind you for those of you who are like me and have a delicate constitution to match their stomach I can tell you happily that the rats in the window are preserved Rats and have been on display since 1925.

It’s a bit worrying that they look so fresh until you realise that Madam Tussaud was born in the neighbourhood and look what she has done to major and minor celebrities.

Some say that the shop was featured in the Disney movie Ratatoullie maybe one of my clever readers could say whether that is true or not because of course I don’t watch movies about Rats or Dogs for that matter so I don’t know if that is the truth.

Dead Rats Colour

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Lorry Load Of Lies

I have often wondered where lies come from, who invented them and so on and so forth. I even watched the dreadful film by that awful idiot Ricky Gervais but sadly failed to find out where lies came from or in that case be entertained at all but that is beside the point of course.

So where do lies come from? Well I think I have the answer. I got my driver to follow the truck in the picture and guess what lies come from Luxembourg. I would have thought France or Germany both countries and their people have been known to tell some enormous porkies in the past but I didn’t think that little Luxembourg could be capable of inventing lying did you?

Lorry Load of Lies


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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Sauce Of The Sweet & Sour Goose

Kung Fu Panda 2 007

As a lot of us know Hollywood’s latest animated blockbuster from Dreamworks, the Chinese themed Kung Fu Panda II, opened in the US and China at the weekend and it by all accounts did rather well, which is nice.

The first instalment (imaginatively entitled Kung Fu Panda II – but with one less ‘I’) broke box office records in China three years ago but was criticised in some quarters as western exploitation of Chinese culture.

Do you agree with with this Cat and think that the Chinese have at least two faces and are being rather silly about saying that Kung Fu Panda I or indeed Kung Fu Panda II are “western exploitation of Chinese culture!” After all what would you call making all of the goods that the West use everyday like iPads, iPhones, Computers that even aren’t Apple ones, TV’s and of course so much more if it isn’t Chinese exploitation of Western culture.

To say nothing of the fact that almost everything made in China is badly made, falls apart as soon as the product is removed from the safety of its protective packaging, and of course that most of the counterfeit DVD’s and other pirate products are made in China and sold in the West.

All of which I am sure means that the Chinese have a sauce pointing a finger at the West for exploitation and should be the last to lecture the West about exploitation especially when they now have jobs that used to be Western jobs and the families who relied on them are flat broke. Surely the Chinese take the biscuit for exploitation – right out of hungry Western mouths in fact.

Changing the subject for a moment I would just like to thank a record number of people for buying my latest book and masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ during June, it is obviously perfect reading for the Summer and I hope that you enjoy it while you are tanning on a beach somewhere very warm.

One thing I would say on the subject of buying books – well I promised my translator I would – is that copies of his ebooks are available on Amazon.com and all other great retailers so when you go to Amazon.com to buy my book or to my www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com do have a look at John Woodcock’s books ‘Trams of Prague’ and ‘AstroMouse,’ they are really rather good (he made me put that bit in but after reading them I agree).

The other thing I would say is that avid readers of my books are in for a real treat very soon my next book ‘The Travelogue – A Cat Against The World’ is soon to be available in the same great bookshops and websites as ‘Getting Out’ isn’t that wonderful?

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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One To Watch

My dear lovely cuddly readers I am afraid that I have to insist that you watch the ‘Ultimate Dog Tease video which I have just put up on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

To make it really very easy for you I have added a link that will whisk you to the correct page here Ultimate Dog Tease.

This video is not only one of the funniest videos I have seen it makes even the hardest hearted Cat feel sorry for at least one dog in the world.

Dog Tease

Who’d have thought that one day I would say “poor Doggie?”


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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12 Firefighters, A Road Closure, A Water Cannon & 30 Hours… To Rescue A KITTEN From A Tree

Recently in a suburb of London it took twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours…to rescue a KITTEN from a tree, and to this Cat that seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

A dozen firefighters sealed off a road for 30 hours and eventually brought in a hydraulic hoist to rescue a Cleo a Kitten who had lost her way when climbing a tree and instead of climbing down had gone the wrong way and climbed almost all the way to the top of a 50ft tree.

The Tree

The wonderful, brave and patient firefighters at first used a water cannon to ‘encourage Cleo the Kitten to climb down the tree, not to knock her out of the tree it has to be stress but that only forced Cleo to climb higher up the tree – but then we all know about Cats and water don’t we?

It was only after the firefighters called in reinforcements and a ‘cherry picker-style’ hydraulic device, that a fearless fireman was able to grab Cleo and bring her back down to earth.

A Happy Ending

Before leaving the patient firemen advised the Kitten’s human to put wire mesh around the base of the tree so that the Cleo wouldn’t be able to climb up the tree and cause such a commotion in future.

The Cat’s Opinion

First I have to say that people who have Cats and trees in their garden and don’t want to repeat the palaver described above should do what the clever firefighters suggested and put Chicken Wire around the base of the tree.

Secondly I think that firefighters are just wonderful and should have their salaried doubled immediately.

Lastly as I said above, but it is worth saying again twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours to rescue a Kitten from a tree, seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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Two New Free Games On My Games Page

I don’t know how I do it, but I do! I have arranged for my boffins to set up two new free online games for you my lovely cuddly reader to play on my www.wickedly wonderful website so that you can while away your working day and return home fresh, relaxed and happy, aren’t I just the nicest Cat in the world? Of course I am.

The first new free online game is called Bloons

Here is what it’s about and what you have to do, which is frankly not much except enjoy.

Bloons are what Monkeys call Balloons – they’re daft aren’t they – but they did beat humans into space, though Cats got there first.

There is only one aim of the game and that is to shoot ‘Bloons,’ isn’t it nice when things are that simple? Oh by the way there are 50 levels and they do get a bit harder as you progress.

Here’s the Cat’s Tip: Hold down the mouse button and let go to shoot further.

Bloons Game   Grow Cube Game

The second free online game is called Grow Cube and I think it’s a bit strange – some might call it addictive though.

I personally think that Grow Cube is the first computer game that requires you to have a pencil and paper handy – you’ll need it I promise.

The devious devisers of the game say that, “all you have to do (understatement) is to add the right element at the right time other otherwise your cube isn’t going to grow.” You’ll get the hang of it all soon enough depending upon how clever you are of course!

Here’s my tip: Start with the man, and make lots of notes.

I hope that you enjoy both free on-line games and manage to to do just a small amount of work every so often when playing them.

To get to my games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website quickly just click here My Games Page to go straight to the latest free online game you would like to play simply click on its picture above, the pictures are rather clever links to my website, but then what do you expect from a rather clever Cat? Nothing less!

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Sad News!

Mourning Ribbon LHS.png

Today I am saying goodbye to Randolph the Mountaineering Cat who unfortunately yesterday met a mountain that he wasn’t able to climb successfully.

You know I met Randolph the Mountaineering Cat on his travels while I was doing research for my next book ‘The Travelogue,’ unfortunately the chapter with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat in it was ‘bought’ by the country where we met and so it won’t be in my next blockbusting book.

Actually I am finding that a lot of governments, mayors and anyone connect with countries, cities or towns which feature in my soon to be published Travelogue are ‘buying out’ chapters related to their countries, cities or towns so that they don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of being ‘exposed’ in what is the most honest travel book every written by a Cat!

Goodbye Randolph the Mountaineering Cat.jpg

This purchasing of chapters means that the book is constantly getting smaller and in turn means that I in the interests of value for money have to keep traveling to new countries, of course the extra work is annoying but let’s face it the ‘hush money’ or as some call them ‘bribes’ come in very handy – just ask any african politician or sporting body committee member!

What I can say without breaking the confidentiality agreements I have pawed is that I first bumped into Randolph the Mountaineering Cat on the way to Nepal as he was enduring a stop over at a shabby and rather smelly airport in a rapidly developing country that will one day take America’s place as the leader of the world… sorry I have to stop there for two reasons the first is mentioned above and the second is that I am laughing so much I just can’t type.

After that, our paths seemed to cross as we went from country to country Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was off to climb yet another mountain and I was… well I actually can’t tell you too much about what I was doing or you won’t buy the next book and that would be a little like shooting myself in the Paw with a keyboard! Mmh ‘shooting myself in the paw with a keyboard’ doesn’t sound right does it? But I think you know what I mean.

You know in the short time that we had together Randolph the Mountaineering Cat and I got on rather well and shared a curry together and later the same toilet. It was then while we were both in a lot of pain that something he said stuck in my mind as the dysentery did its worst “chaps and Cats that suffer together form a bond that nothing can break!” I knew exactly what he meant and I also knew that I would possibly sometimes miss-quote Randolph the Mountaineering Cat but I would never forget him or what he said.

Sadly yesterday that bond was broken but not but me. I heard that Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was swinging one pawedly from snowy boulder to snowy boulder in a scree 6,000ft above Base Camp 3 when something went wrong and he slipped.

You know, we got on so well that I had even arranged for him to have ‘exploratory’ talks with my translator John Woodcock in the hope that with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat’s amazing adventures and our very own Mr. Woodcock’s feeble talent together they could produce a bestseller similar to my work a masterpiece of feline literary genius – ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ available here Amazon.com if you are one of the few people on planet earth who haven’t bought it yet and of course my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can buy my book, read my blog and get so much more including loads of free online games both festive and not so festive.

It’s a shame and a great loss that as with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat that book is lost forever.

So in conclusion I would just like to say that Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was a fine Cat and a good friend and I know that it is not only me who will miss him because the world is a poorer place without him and his adventurous kind!

Mourning Ribbon RHS.png

Oh take all of what I said about Randolph the Mountaineering Cat back, he has just called me, he’s in town and we’re going out for Prawns on Friday. I asked him about the photograph and he said that it was the first in a series of ‘shots’ taken for a magazine of him clawing his way to the summit of Katmandu.

Apparently the photoshoot was supposed to be ‘dramatic,’ I didn’t have the heart to tell him how ‘dramatic’ the story that was that I was given about the first picture in the series! I don’t know you can never trust the media these days. Still I am looking forward to catching up with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat almost as much as I am looking forward to the Prawns.

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I’ve Gone All Christmasy And Put Loads Of New Free On-Line Games On My Site

From today until somewhere around the 12th day of Christmas, or the end of January if I am feeling a little ‘Russian,’ (because the Russians celebrate the New Year’s holiday until almost the end of January) you will be able to celebrate Christmas with me on my www – wickedly wonderful website because I have added a lot of Christmasy treats like flashing Christmas lights and falling. But don’t take my word for it check out the snow and Christmas lights for yourself here www.thecatsdiary.com.

And not only do the Christmas lights flash but if you are getting more than a little frustrated by the Christmas crowds in the shops, the cost of all the Christmas presents you have to buy for people you hardly know and generally drowned in Christmas spirit you can get your own back on my perfect website just run your cursor over the pretty flashing Christmas lights and see what happens – tee hee!

No please don’t thank me it is all in a day’s work for a techno Cat who simply wants to entertain humans everywhere. Oh and of course to get them to buy his book which luckily you can do on my marvellous site www.thecatsdiary.com or here Amazon.com and if you want to order multiple copies well who am I to stand in your way? I’m far to fabulous and polite to do that!

I suppose most websites that aren’t www-wickedly wonderful websites, run by a clever, kind and cuddly Cat would just stop there with a few flashing Christmas lights and some expensive special effects!

But and it is a big Christmas ‘but,’I am a Cat you loves to give and of course entertain and that means that I have gone that extra mile for my readers this Christmas or as they would have it in Europe I have gone the extra kilometre and added even more of my amazingly popular online games, these on-line games are as usual free, fun and fully tested by me, I loved them as I know you will so enjoy them and if they help you cope with Christmas or indeed pass the time until ‘the’ day and you get your pressies that is all I ask for – apart from the “buying my book bit of course tee hee!”

Not all of the free on-line games are Christmasy play the Ice Slide Game and you can catapult your favourite unsuspecting polar animal as far as you can into the snowy distance. Obviously you have to help that nice polar animal avoid the snowy hazards as he or she flies through the air – did anyone say addictive? They certainly did!

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The more Christmasy Free On-line Games include:

holly.png

Holly A Christmas Tale Delux

A great game where you can enjoy a new version of what is regarded as a true holiday classic!

Holly: A Christmas Tale Deluxe tells the story of a young woman who falls asleep on Christmas Eve and dreams that she is helping Santa Claus deliver toys to children around the world. But is she really asleep? Or is what is happening real?

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The Toy Factory

Where you help Simon the Elf recover all the toys of Santa before midnight because by midnight the presents have to start being delivered and Simon is nowhere near ready and worried what Santa will say when he finds out!

I have added many more free on-line games, but don’t let me spoil the surprise just on just click here The Cat’s Game Page and you can always be sure that The Cat’s games are exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.

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