Jul 302014
 

One of my favourite European holiday destinations is Greece and the Greek Islands especially Paxos which are the smallest group of Ionian Islands.

In Greek mythology, Poseidon created the island by striking Corfu with his trident, so that he and wife Amphitrite could have some peace and quiet. Mind you the Greek islands are full of all sorts of nonsense like that, take as an example the famous Paxos Shopping Troll.

The famous Paxos Shopping Troll Greece

Not only is the shopping trolley provided for use in the shops but rather generously the shop allows you to take it home with you. No wonder the Greek economy is on its knees, of course the Germans are to blame in the main but I have to say that maybe if they didn’t give a free shopping trolley with each trip to the shops they would not have such a large debt, but then the Greeks are big hearted people bless them.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Nov 112013
 

As the title says, “what is it with the Germans and wind,” and deviating a little, how did they motorcycle get up that ere? Was it with the help of a fahrtwind?

All very confusing and that is why I’m not even going to ask what the traffic lights are for at the entrance, are you?

What is it with the Germans and wind


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Oct 222013
 

I have heard of the Büstenhalter or BH which we normal people call a bra! But I have no idea what an ass container is and I don’t think I want to know!

What is it with the germans and Asses

And why are the Germans so obsessed with assess?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

May 022013
 

They can t helpthemselves can they the Germans

TYPICAL!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Apr 032013
 

The funny side of air conditioning in Spain

I have to say that I really like the attitude of the Spanish, they are so horribly mired in Euro debt that the Germans saddled them with, unemployment is at dangerous levels and they have to admit that the city of Benidorm and all of its awful British expats is within their national boundaries but still they smile.

Yes the Spanish are great and do try to make everything they do fun, just read the notice to people using air conditioning (above), imagine a temperature of “desire” and using it to get up to “fun speed” ohh! it’s sending shivers down my backbone just thinking about it, what about you?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 282013
 

You know how we make fun of the Chinese when we impersonate them speaking English and pretend to make odd noises out of words that start with the letter ‘w’ because we all know that the Chinese, like the Germans can’t properly pronounce any word that begins with that letter, and in turn people from both nations say that we are not accurate, they can indeed pronounce ‘w’s’ but only when they want to!

Well here is proof from Taiwan that all the Chinese and Germans who defend their pronunciation might be vong, wong or is that wrong!

Special Spaghetti From Taiwan.

Special Spaghetti From Taiwan

May I also draw your attention to the “Beaf” and let’s not forget the delightful “Scafoods” on the menu. Sounds dewishious!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jul 212011
 

I have a feeling that the poor old Austrians and for that matter the Germans too have had a bit of a bad press these days being accused of being selfish and running the EU like it’s some sort of private playground but I am happy to tell you, my wonderfully cuddly readers, that I have discovered some evidence to the contrary.

Proof  That Austrians Love To Share

Ok so it’s a little overbearing to tell guests, even ‘dear’ ones that they must not eat their own lunch and, I presume, must share it with everyone present.

But although the sign is a little bossy it’s well intentioned, because as Bono the tax dodging bozo will tell you, if you allow him, there are millions of people all over the world going without, he just focuses on the more photogenic ones! So sharing is good.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 292010
 
Fig Leaf.jpg

It is that time of year again! Summer is here at last. Sadly the supreme being who created peadophiles, rapists, slums, poverty, cruelty and all of the other gifts that ‘he’ gave us convinced the Czechs, and indeed a lot of other misguided people in the surrounding area such as the Germans, Slovaks and what not, that they should leave their clothes in a pile somewhere and ‘enjoy’ the sun’s rays the way that ‘he’ had intended – au naturel!

What the misguided people in the surrounding area such as the Germans, Slovaks and in particular the Czech don’t seem to know is that nature au naturel is rather attractive, but their naked white bodies blistering in the sun’s microwaves are not, I wonder how one small but clever Cat can get through to these misguided hordes of naked humans and convince them to wear something and please not a thong and a frown like the French do at the beach?

Frankly I don’t know how to go about convincing the entire continent to cover up, I did think about naming and shaming but there are too many of the buggers, then I thought about showing photographs of them to a wider audience in the hope that the world would campaign against these lovers of nature but if I did that my lovely blog would look like one of ‘those’ sites that you get when you mistype some url’s and we can’t have that can we? I am a lot of things and have been called most but I’m not a pornographic pussy if you see what I mean.

So I am at a loss on how to stop all of this vast and unwelcome exposure of human flesh, you know sometimes I wish I was a politician because they are really rather good at cover ups aren’t they!

The trouble with being a good looking Cat I suppose I just don’t understand humans sometimes, what on earth gets into them that they have to take their clothes off and try to improve the beauty of a wooded, lakeside beauty spot.

What is worse is that from my lofty offices up here where the Barrandov Film Studios are I can actually see… sorry I just don’t have the vocabulary to describe what I can see or indeed the stomach!

Unfortunately there is one other problem today and that is what photograph to use in my pretty blog and so here is the only thing that I could think of it – is a suggestion of apparel for Czechs and the other misguided people in Europe to wear when they want to be ‘au naturel’ in nature.

Fig Leaf.jpg

Here are the instructions for using fig leaves for the more simple minded ie the entire nations of France Germany, Slovakia and of course the Czech Republic.

Men should wear one fig leaf and women three and men try to resist choosing a fig leaf that is too big you will only look ridiculous, and never wear a fig leave with any figs attached that would only lead to ‘complications’ and increased female expectations that I couldn’t possibily describe here!

Fig Leaf.jpg

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