Tag Archives: Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary

Getting fit the Tunisian way

When you are on holiday you have, as I see it two choices, you can coat yourself in sun tan lotion, flop down next to the pool, order a constant supply of cool drinks, and totally veg out or you can use the sun, sea and spare time to get fit.

They do say that Tunisia is a great place to go on holiday, I personally don’t agree, but a lot of people do visit for a holiday and come back again although less since the whole Arab Spring – that’s vista and come back rather than just visit and disappear of course.

One of the many reasons why I think that Tunisia is such a bad choice as a holiday destination is the weird ideas that they have for exercising as the picture below suggests.

Abdominal Buttocks In Tunisia

Another reason is ‘safety’ and I can’t stress this one enough, if you stray into the native areas or indeed a Gym you could be risking your life. Again these dangers are demonstrated using the picture – which is now above . Just imagine a ‘Water Aerobics’ class that soon after requires ‘Body Pumping!’ Just how much water do these characters expect use mere mortal holidaymakers to take on board?


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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What a wonderful Universe we live in

I saw these pictures of the Moon, Jupiter and Venus online (unlike the real thing sadly) and thought I would share them with you my dear cuddly readers.

They clearly show that we live in a wonderful Universe which when we start to get to know it will be an exciting and magical place with endless surprises and opportunities.

Venus and Jupiter

Moon venus jupiter

What a shame then after thinking of all of that ‘higher’ stuff that I read in the newspapers that Russia wants to send a man or two to the Moon, not to explore, consider the wonder of the view like the first men on the Moon, but to dig it up for rare earths and collect something called Helium 3 which is apparently very very rare and so worth a big fortune.

I suppose that the next ‘Put’ as they will no doubt call future Tsars will then want to hold the rest of the world to ransom by limiting supply of this stuff like they do to Europe at the moment with their natural gas, just like the Arabs do with their oil and the Chinese do with their rare earths.

It is such a shame that the marvellous Cosmos is regarded by most humans as a place where they can go eventually to dig it up and make the same mess of the Universe as they have made of the home planet. What say us Cats rise up and do something about this. Oh look a plate of Prawns and someone has puffed up my pillow – maybe I can start the revolution tomorrow!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Barbecue time approaches

Summer is coming, well after Spring of course but it will be here soon enough and frankly I can’t wait for a bit of warmth and some serious eating Al Fresco.

The other day I saw a picture which I thought I would share with all of my wonderful cuddly readers, it’s of Barbecue Tiger Prawns coated in a Soy sauce and then when you have finished Barbecuing the giant tasty treats you dip them in a mixture of Soy sauce and sieved Tamarind Pulp that mixture is called ‘Lampung sauce.’

Prawn BBQ

Of course TV chefs and food writers in magazines all believe that us ordinary common folk (well you ordinary common folk) can just reach up to the top shelf of our kitchen cupboards (or jump if you’re me) and whip out enough Tamarinds to turn into 4 tablespoonfuls, sadly they live in a dream world where they are not only famous but useful!

I think that the best way to eat Barbecued Tiger Prawns or indeed any type of Prawn is with the least amount of ‘cooking’ and quickly, in terms of quantities the fool who wrote the article where I saw the picture above thought that 12 Tiger Prawns between 4 people was sufficient – really?

This Cat believes 12 Tiger Prawns each might act as a small starter if the meal then moves on to Scampi, Potted Shrimp, and Prawns Sandwiches without the bread, Lettuce, Tomatoes etc! I suppose these sandwiches could be called PLT’s in the new world across the sea where the simple Bacon sandwich have been thus elevated.

So a PLT for me please and hold the Bread, Lettuce and Tomatoes thank you ever so much!

Um it hasn’t arrived yet!

Prawn Sandwich


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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The Cat lets the picture say it all – almost!

Is India going to take over the world with their young vibrant population, excellent educational system, humanity, compassion and obvious frankness?

Shall we let the picture (below) answer that question?

The Red Cross In India


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Today’s blog is tinged with sadness

I am afraid that today’s blog is desperately sad! You see I was set to have a bit of a break, a well deserved and earned rest, you know kick back and enjoy the Springlike sunshine that has been gracing us lately. But as you can see from the picture below it is snowing here and that means that I will get covered in the stuff when I go out to look at the garden and the Snowdrops, mind you Snowdrops in the snow are pretty cool aren’t they.

Foot prints in the snow

If you haven’t seen Snowdrops in the snow then you are in for a treat below.

Snowdrops in the snow

Sigh! All the snow means that I will have to go back inside and eat Prawns all day and that in turn means that I will need dozens if not millions of good people to buy my books Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary and The Cat’s Travelogue so that I can afford even more Prawns it is a “vicious circle of life” to misquote the Lion King!














As you can see (above) happily I have had help making the little picture boxes look nicer – I hope. If they are, then it is a relief all round, do click them if you like, of course if you buy something after clicking them then www.amazon.com pay me a paltry sum in return and if you click the boxes with my books on then I get a bigger sum; hint hint! And ‘sum’ add up don’t they!

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Never play with guns

You know the expression ‘never play with guns’ is so try but people still do and then look what happens!

Dead paintball fighter

Oops! What a shame that the ‘safety’ was off!

The danger of allowing anyone to carry guns

Still at long last the prince of Wales has actually ‘done’ something while wearing a military uniform and impersonating someone from the armed forces, I think today he is a General in the Welsh Guards, but tomorrow he may be wearing his Admiral’s hat, he was after all a ‘Captain’ in the navy half a lifetime ago!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dodgy train timetable

If you ever go to Tallinn in Estonia you are going to be in for a really treat; if you like old, clean, uncrowded cities with lots of bars, caf├ęs, friendly locals and places to see and it is as pretty in the Winter (picture below) as it is in the Summer (the picture of which you will have to look at on line – what do you think this is? A tourist information site? I think not!).

Tallinn

It’s easy to get around in Estonia too if you want to visit not only cities in Estonia but also Russia if you feel brave enough to venture into Putinistan there are direct train routes to Moscow and a new one to St Petersburg the place that has to own up to being the birthplace of the great Put the Election Rigger.

There is only one small problem with train travel in Estonia and that is that it is very likely that you will get misled by the timetable, it isn’t deliberate you understand it is just a national custom!

Train Timetable From The Tallin Bureau Of Disinformation


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Odd restaurant names

You live in a wonderful sunny country right next to the sea and you have always wanted to open a restaurant and so you carefully select the location for your new restaurant – being close to tourists is always a good idea if you want a lot of customers and a successful business, you chose a menu that appeals to your customers and provides delicious well cooked reasonably priced food and you employ staff who are friendly, polite and cheerfully knowledgable about the cuisine you are providing.

Then all that is left after so much meticulous planning is to choose a name that’s inviting, has meaning and makes potential customers want to come through the door – as you can see the owner of the restaurant below followed almost all of those rules!

Desperate Customers

I hope you can’t hear the waterfall background!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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For the Git in your life

Here is a little hope for everyone who’s life is being made a misery by the Git in their life. At last there’s somewhere to send all of the Gits to and we can only hope that they like it so much that they stay there!

So if there’s a git in your life pick up the phone and call Git Holidays I was going to say “and git a break from them,” but that is stooping a bit low just for a jokette so instead of that I will do a little bit of advertising for the best product in the whole wide world – no not Apple’s iPod Touch, iPhone or even the iPad, I meant my books in paper or electronic form! Well a Cat’s got to eat!

For the Git in your life


About the Author – The Author of the Cat Diary

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”


Here are just a few things that you shouldn’t leave the house without – well if you have an Apple iPad you probably don’t need an Amazon Kindle Fire thingy but I am sure that you see what and mean and never, ever leave home without taking a copy of one of my wonderful books will you? Happily they come in both paper and electronic form.












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Just an observation!

The other day I was doing what ex-pats do and reading the UK press or that bit of it that escapes online, and I have to admit I was doing it using superfast (and cheap I might add) broadband, but then I live in a very modern dynamic country unlike the country I was reading about I am afraid.

Two articles caught my eye; one about the speed of broadband in the UK or the bit I am interested in – England – and the other was a piece about the ‘happiest’ place to live in the UK.

Imagine my surprise when one of the ‘happiest’ places in England turned out to be one of the very same places with very poor broadband speeds!

I started to wonder if the two were related in anyway and here is what crossed my little furry mind. First surely none of the inhabitants of this happy place are able to experience Sky or Virgin and their internet services which would not only keep their household costs down to a minimum but also mean that they are happy not to be lining the pockets of those two smiling oily oligarchs Branson and Murdoch or indeed be subjected to their respective company’s ‘service,’ a word I use comedically here!

The second reason is a little more obvious and that’s that if you don’t have a very fast internet connection you don’t spend much time online and that must be nice, having just enough speed to look at my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite, www.thecatsdiary.com or to buy my wonderful book online at Amazon.co.uk, you can even use this link Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary and don’t forget if you don’t want the paperback you can get an ebook (almost in your case) immediately, the same applies to my other masterpiece of feline literature The Cat’s Travelogue or even an ebook that is almost a popular as mine; my translator’s pretty Tram book Tram No 6 is The Naughtiest of Trams (The Trams of Prague) aren’t you lucky?

So I hear you ask what poor city is blessed with being the happiest city in the UK and unfortunate enough to have really dreadful broadband speeds – well that would be Carlisle!

There may be one very important reason why Carlisle is so happy it’s just on the right side of the border with Scotland tee hee!

I was going to add an aerial view of Carlisle to brighten up my blog a bit, but unfortunately Carlisle from the air looks really awful and so I had to be content with a snap of Carlisle Cathedral, but even that looks as though it has taken affront at something doesn’t it.
Carlisle Cathedral in snow

To my way of looking at the world Carlisle Cathedral looks as though it’s not the most friendly or indeed happy place on the planet but I have to stress looks can be deceiving, on the other paw there is Lincoln where the Cathedral does reflect the unfriendly character of some of the people I encountered there 12 or so years ago and yes you know who you are so I won’t mention your names.

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