Tag Archives: Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary

Web Design Kittens

To my surprise and delight my web design Kittens have become rather popular among my dear cuddly readers and quite a few have added extra fan mail to the usual (and welcome fan mail) they send me by sending fan mail to my cute web design Kittens.

Quite a few of the fan letters asked for a picture of my web design Kittens and so so here it is.

Web Design Kittens

In answer to the person who wrote from Des Moines, the one from Bangalore and indeed the one from Didsbury, England the answer is a firm no.

Regarding the request from the man in Fife Scotland, you should be ashamed of yourself! How could my web design Kittens write a book? I ask you! That’s what I do! If you want a masterpiece of feline literature then read either Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary or The Cat’s Travelogue which you can get from either my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or from Amazon.com.

To make it easier for you just click these pictures and you will be whisked straight to my wonderful book of your choice on Amazon – there who says I don’t look after my cuddly readers.

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Web Site Redesign

To accommodate my latest masterpiece ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ my web design Kittens have been working around the clock to redesign, improve and extend my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com.

So now when you arrive at my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com you have the choice of viewing my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com in either the original Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary mode or click the page turn icon at the top on the right hand side and enter… wait for it… The Cat’s Travelogue mode of my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com isn’t that neat? Aren’t my web design Kittens just the coolest web designers around? The answer there is yes by the way.

My clever web design Kittens have included the usual high quality features you expect from a truly www – wickedly wonderful website although of course we all know that there is only one www – wickedly wonderful website and that one is mine www.thecatsdiary.com and that is because it was me that invented the concept of www – wickedly wonderful website what a clever Cat I am! But then you know that don’t you my dear cuddle readers and my new friends.

So do go and visit my www – wickedly wonderful website and take a peek at the changes and if you like them do let me know through the usual channels or blind drop boxes.

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What a Silly Feline!

Ok no prizes for guessing which Cat in his excitement to tell the world about Amazon.com launching his book early to coincide with the launch of their Kindle Fire managed to use the ‘old’ link to his other masterpiece ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ – yes me of course.

Here is the right link.The Cat’s Travelogue on Amazon.com

There thank goodness I put that right. I am so sorry to send you all to the wrong place, but I have to say now you know how I felt when I was writing my Travelogue, everywhere I went was the ‘wrong’ place.

Here is a treat for you though, the cover of my latest book.

Travelogue by John Woodcock

And if you haven’t see the Kindle Fire in all of its blazing glory here is a link for that by way of an apology – again.

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A Sneak Peek Of The Cover Of My Latest Book

Yes that’s right dear cuddly readers here’s a sneak peek of the cover of my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’

Now while I am very happy with the cover in general I am not too happy with one element, can anyone guess what it is? If you can there is a free ebook in it for you, if you can’t then after failing to change the cover at a last minute summit meeting with the publishers I added my comments about the bit of the cover I dislike to the new book so the week before last so you will be able to read the book and tell me what it is that I dislike.

The closing date for the competition has to be Sunday (tomorrow) sadly because my wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will be available on Amazon.com by then and in bookstores soon afterwards but a little bird told me that you can buy the ebook version of my unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ right now, in fact I think I am sitting on the link here. All of which means that if you buy an ebook now you stand a great chance of winning my amazing competition and still can buy a paper version at a later date.

Travelogue by John Woodcock

If you can’t live without my new book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and I can’t blame you for that and want the ebook early then use this link, if you just want to cheat on the competition above then I understand just go for Kindle Edition of The Cat’s Travelogue on Amazon.com or Amazon UK.

There I am such a nice Cat not only letting you cheat in my competition but most importantly enabling you to have instant access to my wonderful ebook ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ in advance of everybody, yes that is the sort of Cat I am and just how much I love my cuddly readers and Cat fans.

Of course it might go without saying, but I am going to say it anyway, you can instantly get a copy of my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ from my www-wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or at the my store on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

There! Does this clever Cat think of everything or what? All you have to do today is to click on a few links, use your or someone else’s credit card and you are away and one of the very first to buy what people have described as the “travelogue to end all travelogues.”

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Horse Crap – A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

The really great news is that my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ is going to be available very soon any and everywhere and that means you can buy a book either in paper or ebook form in the very near future.

Speaking of my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue,’ a wonder of a little book written by a Cat, one of the places I visited was Vietnam though because of signs such as the one below and other divine bureaucratic blunders the chapter on Vietnam was ‘sponsored’ by the Socialist Republic of Vietnam and then removed by me from the printed edition. Did you know that the Socialist Republic of Vietnam’s motto is “Independence – Freedom – Happiness” – if you ever did!

It’s my fervent hope that you enjoy my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ more than the menu item below and that you tell all of your friends to buy at least one copy and make this clever Cat very happy.

One thought that went through my furry head when I was sitting outside the restaurant in the heat and pollution of Ho Chi Minh City reading the menu below was this “what was the ‘Lime'” if you see what I mean, “do the Vietnamese serve a Citrus fruit with their Fried Horse Crap or is the ‘Lime’ on the menu the white powdery stuff that they add to cement, gardens and the graves of adulterers in days gone by?” Sadly to this day I don’t know because I didn’t order this menu item – what do you think I am stupid?

Don’t forget that like ‘Getting Out Excerpts from A Cat’s Diary’ ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will make a wonderful Christmas present.

Horse Crap  A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

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It’s A Very Exciting Day Today!

It’s really a very exciting day today. I am with my designers in New York going over the final selection of cover designs for my soon to be published second book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’

You know I was pleasantly surprised, the cover designs are all really nice, except one that is which uses the most unflattering photograph of me, I do hope that we don’t use that design!

Unfortunately I have discovered that I have a little problem and that problem is that book publishing is (according to my publisher) a collaborative endeavour so we will be using the cover that is chosen by the majority. Mmh what do you think about that dear cuddly reader, you know what they say about things chosen by committees don’t you!

I have to say it came as something of a shock to discover that publishing my book was a “collaborative endeavour” because I would like to know where the designers, my agent Mr. Todd A Leibowitz call me “Todd” and my publisher were when I was knee deep in some of the less attractive countries around the world and just how close they were from swooping in and rescuing me when a mob of Pakistani religious fools were after my ‘Bacon’ just because they thought I was Danish? Not close at all is the answer.

Still I’ll forgive them their stupidity if we “sell as many of these ponies as we did the last Buckaroo!” To quote my Agent Mr. Todd A Leibowitz call me “Todd.” We apparently will be in “millionsville” once again. What can I say? I am so pleased and of course confused.

I am afraid when I listen to my agent Mr. Todd A Leibowitz call me “Todd,” publisher and the designers all talking excitedly at once I feel a little handicapped, not by the fact that they are speaking American, a language which is very close to English the language I first learned when I started to write my first ‘unputdownable’ book, the trouble is that when I hear them all talking at once, firing buzz words into the conversation as if they were machine gun bullets at a we hate Saddam/Americans rally in Iraq I just can’t keep up, and worse every so often they clap a hi five above my head and shout “YAY” when they agree on something all of which is beyond me.

I just hope that the last hi five and round of “YAYS” wasn’t something to do with the committee choosing the design for the book! I feel I should ask but they are just too busy congratulating themselves currently. Maybe there will be time later, although after lunch I am being whisked out to the airport and sent home, yes my agent Mr. Todd A Leibowitz call me “Todd” is paying for my stay which is probably why it’s so short.

Anyway as soon as I can I will post the ‘winning’ design on my blog and hope that all my fans let me know what they think of it. I think it’s really a good idea to let my lovely fans see the cover of my new book in advance of publication because then they will know what to grab off the book store’s shelves.

Of course ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will not only be available in your local bookstore it will also be available on Amazon.com as an ebook or a proper book and all of the other places you can possibly think of to get ebooks and the old style paper books.

The timing of publication is designed cleverly to catch the Christmas rush if the banks don’t bankrupt us all first! So please make sure that you buy at least two copies and one for your good self dear cuddly reader because they make excellent presents for everyone!

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Chef’s Dick Confit – French Cooking At Its Best!

Now here’s a new way to eat the good old English Chip or as Americans know it the French Fry just go to France and order ‘Chef’s Dick Confit’ and don’t be too surprised if (hopefully) you get chips.

Obviously the french who hate the idea of using ‘foreign’ words in their language decided that they couldn’t call a fried potato a ‘chip’ because the English use that and then they thought the damn Americans use french fry so they couldn’t call their chips “Frit Française” could they? And that meant that they had to come up with some ‘radical’ language and frankly you can’t get more radical than having a Chef’s Dick on your plate can you?

Chef s Dick Confit  French Cooking At Its Best

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Illegal In Most States

The say that religion makes you a better, more moral person, but this sign surely tells a different story. Surely this sort of activity is illegal in most states?

Illegal In Most States

I am happy to say here that Cats like all other animals are not at all religious and are usually not at all welcome in places of worship no matter what god or idol they have been erected for and that is a great source of comfort and relief.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Cat’s Eyes Removed

Now please don’t accuse me of being dramatic or worse paranoid but when you see a sign in England that says ‘Cat’s Eyes Removed’ on the road and it’s been placed opposite a building belonging to The Blue Cross (a UK Veterinary Charity) then you have to wonder what might be going on?

Cat s Eyes Removed
As a member of an elite and highly regarded species I have to ask the question, why would a Veterinary Charity be advertising for Cat’s Eyes? And what are they going to do with them, and gulp so much worse, did they get any?

If you know the answer to the questions above and would like to get them off your chest do drop me a line here at the www.blog.thecatsdiary.com we won’t judge you, too much, and all of us here at my blog and my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com are a hell of a lot less righteous and less pompous than the people at Wikileaks.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Bet this shop is owned by a man!

Here’s another snap from my travels – do look out for my next unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’

Bet this shop is owned by a man! Shop Signs Can Be Such A Giveaway!

Bet This Shop Is Owned By A Man

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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