Tag Archives: Gifts

Is Ginger Getting Rid Of A Couple Of Rivals?

Here at Cat World HQ the nerve centre of Catdom and all things Cat we get a lot of things sent to us, some are wonderful, I love the presents and pictures, but frankly the cakes and sponges are a little bit too much and the ones which are made from Cat food are definitely crossing some sort of line somewhere.

Still enough of that and speaking of gifts – I would like another iPad if anyone is feeling generous, Dave the Cat took his hat off and put it on top of my lovely iPad and I can’t seem to get the stain off the glass! Goodness knows what he has under his hat and frankly ‘goodness’ can keep what he knows to himself if it is all the same to everyone. I find that old ‘goodness’ is a little slack mouthed don’t you?

One of the more interesting things that came through the internet recently was a photograph from Wikileaks (probably) and it is a very interesting picture, if say for instance you just happen to a friend of a certain Cat called Ginger and you haven’t seen a couple of acquaintances ‘Monte’ and ‘Po’ for a little while.

Now I’m never one to cast stones – I leave that to holy people with shaggy beards and discharge slips from asylums, but what on earth is Ginger up to in this picture? On first viewing you really have to wonder don’t you!

When I asked Ginger he said that there was nothing to worry about, they were just posing for one of those really dreadful pictures that circulate on the internet and says something like “Friends Forever” then when he looked at the picture he said “that’s odd the photographer was on the other side of the wall in front of us!”

Now Ginger has gone into hiding complaining that he is being stalked, I think Ginger is being stupid and even Dave the Cat said that Ginger was acting like a Cat without a hat or a clue!

And as I said Monte and Po are still missing do you think that the stalker was stalking them and not Ginger? Frankly their coats are in better nick than Ginger’s and they’re sort of coat that a Chinese furrier would love to run up into a jacket or two, so I have to stop here and go out to post some more LOST posters – if anyone spots Monte or Po please let me know here thecat@thecatsdiary.com thats my email address of course – cool isn’t it?

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Please don’t forget that Amazon.com have very kindly completely restocked my best selling book – Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary – and that of course means that you can easily order a copy now and have it delivered before the Christmas day, they say that my book makes a wonderful present and who am I to disagree?

Get your copy of Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary – or better still copies here Amazon.com and of course you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www – wickedly wonderful website¬†www.thecatsdiary.com where you can also enjoy a lot of other stuff free online games, jokes, and so much more.

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Do You Like Tea Towels?

Do you like tea towels? It would appear that the British royal family don’t, because they have banned them from being used to commemorate the forthcoming dreadful royal wedding of two rather dull individuals who’s names escape me for the moment!

Yes that is right the Palace has ruled that official souvenirs must be “permanent” and “significant” (whatever that means) and for the ‘palace’ you can read the queen and the rest of the brood.

All of which means I expect we will see lots of really awful plates mass produced in China with uncanny photographic resemblances of the young royal pair; but hang on plates, commemorative or not, aren’t exactly “permanent” are they? You can break a plate quite easily especially if you are in a deteriorating marriage then they tend to fly at you from all angles, even if the aforementioned plate is covered in gold leaf to make it “significant!”

As a Cat with most of his marbles I have to say that I can’t see what all of the fuss about tea towels is about. Just look at this marvellous example of tea towel craftsmanship and design from Charles’ marriage the time before last, to the sulky blonde.

Nice tea towel.jpg

I have to say although I am a poor judge of human expressions that ‘the boy’ in the pin strip suit looks pretty chipper and frankly the ‘likeness’ is very flattering, I bet when charles does the drying up at home he still smiles at the good looking young guy looking up at him.

If anyone should be more than a little annoyed it is the family of the blonde tragic princess-to-be she looks awful, but then if you had just heard that your future husband had been having an affair with someone old enough to be your Mum and had refused to stop you might not look your best when you pop down to Lord Litchfield’s studio to have him take a snap or two would you?

Thinking about it the only time we haven’t seen a beautifully handcrafted tea towel to commemorate a royal wedding was at charles’ most recent wedding and that was because it is believed that constant exposure to images of the bride can put chickens off laying and frighten small children although it has to be argued that the same is true of the images on the tea towel above come to think of it because let’s face it creating a life like image on a tea towel is just a dream – but then surely people should be able to dream and not have the queen and the rest of the royals stop them!

As tea towels are so dreadful, this confused Cat presumes that the royal palace gift shops, perfectly and strategically located to prise even more money from visitors in royal palaces up and down the UK will stop selling their range of “impermanent” and “insignificant” merchandise namely tea towels.

Personally I am just glad that the royal family owned up and told us unsuspecting punters that they had been selling us crap all this time in their palace gift shops.

Below is a picture of one of the tea towels that the queen and the royal squad have decided is crap, it is described on the Historic Royal Palaces Shops website here Historic Royal Palaces Shops as the – Tea towel – Henry VIII and Wives – and as you can see for yourself if you go to the website this tea towel, which the queen hates so much, is available in all palace’s gift shops including Buckingham Palace just look in the souvenir section although it will probably appear in the “Must Go Sale” section soon and will be heavily reduced from its rrp of 4.99 ukp I expect!

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So what can I say even the royals think that the merchandise in their gift shops is rubbish and that means the best thing to do is to go to my website and treat yourself to something classy and totally unroyal here www.thecatsdiary.com my www – wickedly wonderful website!

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Summer Gifts Are Pouring In!

Summer gifts are pouring in at the moment, probably because it is Summer and I am a very worthy cause, just ask yourself this question if you doubt that, how many starving Africans take your money and gifts and then make to laugh? None right!

So, I would like to thank everyone who has been kind enough to send me a gift, but also offer this feline anatomical observation. Cat’s as a rule use four legs to get around on and so shorts and other types of garments designed for the two legged amongst us are pretty useless, this advice should especially apply to Carol of Surrey who I think may believe that I am a cross between Terry Pratchett’s “Amazing Maurice” and Dick Whittington’s Pantomime Cat!

On a personal level therefore “Carol no more shorts please and that especially applies to the purple plaid ones.”

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For Me!

Do you know what my favourite words are?

Well lucky you my wonderful fans there is a clue in the title of this little blogette. Yes that is right I love to say “for me!” As you will note the ‘for me’ in question comes with an exclamation mark of joy and not a question mark, and that is because if someone feels like giving something then I am sure it has to be for me!

It is desperately sad that I actually haven’t heard those words ‘for me!’ enough recently and so I have decided that I need a treat or several dozen treats and that means that you dear readers have a responsibility to think of something wonderful you can give me and then let me know as soon as possible when I can have it.

This good looking Cat deserves it you know that, just think of the millions of people in the world who have had their days or if they are slow readers their year brightened by reading my amazingly funny book Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary available here of course Amazon.com.

And for that fact alone I am worth a present or two don’t you think to say nothing of the fact that I am simply perfect and a star among stars.

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