Apr 102014
 

Isn t New Zealand Fun

Ok, so it’s just a road sign, but look at it and consider the thought and hard work that went into drawing the skis.

First the sign is a million miles from civilisation (just like New Zealand some would say, though not me I hasten to add), someone stopped their car, got out, drew skis on a Kiwi (inspired by the way) and then got back in the car to drive lord knows how many miles home. And, by the way, had the presence of mind to have a black pen with them in the first place. Classic!

Speaking of Kiwi’s why do they look so much better with skis fitter? Beats me!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Apr 092014
 

One Italian meal the French haven t been able to copy Reims

One Italian meal the French haven’t been able to copy from a restaurant in Reims.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jan 162014
 

This sign is only to be read aloud with an Italian accent!

This sign is only to be read aloud with an Italian accent

Oh no sorry that doesn’t help! It’s still nonsense.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jun 242013
 

Simple isn’t it?

So that is where babies come from

And for those of you who don’t know much in the way of Italian I will translate (well to the best of my ability, I am a Cat after all!)

‘Sanitaria Profumeria’ means literarily ‘health perfumery!’ What that actually is I don’t know and so I suggest that you draw your own conclusions!

Personally I think it’s a place that idiots frequent to purchase very expensive and utterly useless ‘health’ products and all sorts of other pointless nonsense like Homeopathic Medicine and daft vitamins that they don’t need. I bet you could who that you will bump into prince Charles in one, or indeed some other flake in one. Which is one of the reasons he probably will never get the promotion to king a promotion he has coveted for many a long year!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Apr 092013
 

What the title of this blog says is true! “I love Italian cooking!” Especially when it’s cooked by Italians or and I blush here – ME!

But what I dislike is Italian food cooked by people who have little or no understanding about the simplicity that makes it so nice. That’s simplicity of cooking, ingredients added to a flare for cooking, that on the surface at least, makes each dish an Italian cooks look so easy to prepare, unlike some other European cooks who seem to think that the more complicated a dish the better and yes I am pointing my paw at French cooking here!

Will the herpes be chopped

I was wondering though, will the herpes be chopped?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Feb 182013
 

The French, bless them (some would say) are, according to their own PR though not through documentary evidence, good cooks and while you have to admit there have been one or two French chefs over the years who just happen to be good at what they do it doesn’t mean that the entire nation are good cooks, in fact the opposite is usually the case as the sign below suggests.

Yummy two please France

The sign also suggests something else about ‘pure’ French cooking, they do like knocking up dishes of slimy food, you know what I mean, Frogs legs and Snails come to mind here.

In my considered opinion, well I always consider my opinion, if you want really good French food then there is only one thing to be done and that is to go to Italy especially Tuscany where you will enjoy the sort of food that the French cook, but it will be cooked perfectly and flavoured beautifully.

Why do I say that most French food is really Italian, well it’s simple, the Romans (who were of course Italians) invaded France before it was called France and took their cuisine with them and like any people who like their food the French couldn’t get enough of the sort of provencal or country cooking that the Romans dished up daily.

Sadly people who want traditional provencal cooking think it best to go to Provence in France, they are mistaken it’s best to go to Tuscany instead.

Lastly on the subject of good cooks, did you know that the English word to ‘scoff’ (as in to eat a lot) is based on Auguste Escoffier’s name. Not only was he a man with a very big moustache but he was also a great cook who invented Peach Melba and Melba Toast though most of his career as a great chef was not spent in France, he mainly worked in London and Monaco.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jun 122012
 

As you know I love signs and I love to share my love of signs with my dear cuddly readers, here is one of my favourite signs. It is Italian and is a perfect demonstration of the way that not every sign translated into English becomes a monster of the English language, no that only happens when the Chinese translate signs.

We do what it says on the sign

Speaking of signs, I heard of one just now, someone sent me a message about a sign they had just seen. The sign was apparently stuck to a large wheelie (trash) bin (under two pairs of spectacles) sadly my informant didn’t include a picture, but then the handwritten sign was in Czech so only a minute percentage of the population of the world would have understood it anyway, and of course I can’t be included in that tiny group.

Anyway the sign said “lost glasses” and was sitting next to two, yes two pairs of glasses, as you can see the Czechs are not great ones for the capitalisation of their words or indeed punctuation marks which is sad really because the statement could be just that a statement or a question. As in “look two gloat glasses!” Or “are these two pairs of glasses lost?” Or indeed “have you lost two pairs of glasses?”

Still who can fault a nation of such honest people, if this was England the glasses would have either been stolen, or more likely smashed by some moron, just for the hell of it.

The sad thing is that it is possible that the person who lost the glasses won’t actually be able to see the two pairs of glasses neatly balanced on the wheelie bin under the “lost glasses” sign because they might not have a spare pair of specs as it would seem that they have lost not only their main pair of glasses but their spare ones too.

What a pity, obviously June 12th is not someone’s day, I do hope that it gets better and he or she finds his “lost glasses”.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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