Jul 252014
 

A Thai restaurant in Japan

This is a Thai restaurant in Japan and I have a feeling that both nations may well have been involved in translating the name of the restaurant, stealing the typestyle from Coke and proudly sticking it outside their restaurant.

Cabbages and Condoms indeed, well I suppose it is original unlike stealing lettering from Coke.

Of course if you dear cuddly reader have another explanation I would be glad to hear it and the best selection will receive a copy of my latest ebook.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jul 152014
 

They say that Japan has the best education system in the world and believe it or not the UK is second, with South Korea third.

Well I don’t know where they people who complied that list get their information from because according to the list of answers to reasonably easy questions (that a Cat could answer without reference, and I don’t mean Google) a lot of students in the UK are very very dumb indeed.

Question: The first cells were probably…?

Answer: Lonely.

Question: Suggest one reason why it is a good idea to collect data by asking the public to observe when conkers open:

Answer: So the government doesn’t have to do it.

Question: What do the following chemical equations stand for – HCOONa:

Answer: Matata.

Question: Write an example of a risk:

Answer: This.

Question: When should a motorist use his or her bright beams?

Answer: When he wants to be an asshole

Question: Why are there rings on Saturn?

Answer: Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it

Question: Give a brief explanation of the meaning of the term ‘hard water’:

Answer: Ice

Question: What is the process for separating a mixture of chalk and sand?

Answer: A process called flirtation

Question: What is methane?

Answer: Methane is a smelly greenhouse gas which is produced when trees and or cows are burned.

Question: What is the meaning of the term ‘activation energy’?

Answer: It’s what is needed to get me up in the morning.

Terrible student

Every picture tells a story and pictures tend not to lie!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jul 012014
 

What can I say I love Japan

Please can I be “the animal for fondling?” But please do that before you bring in the “dangerous articles such as gunpowder, the gun, swords and poisons,” or indeed this ‘the thing that becomes troubled of other guests due to the stink in to the hotel.” Whatever that is!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jun 022014
 

Sweet nonsense from Japan

Have you been made by a smile today yet? I have to say I am still waiting for my treasure!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 202014
 

Oh Dear Japan

Gulp! We all know that in Japan that could mean literally ‘anything.’ And what on earth is in the picture? Beats me, but it doesn’t look as though ‘it’ had a contented peaceful life does ‘it?’


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Aug 142013
 

They do say what’s in a name?

An hotel with odd benefits

Well, if what’s in the name of this hotel in Japan is anything to go by, the answer is a lot!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Jan 142013
 

And Fuku too

Well that isn’t very nice is it?


Don’t miss my Kickstarter Project

For a limited time only, as they say, you can help with what has been described as the best Kickstarter project ever, namely The Cat’s 3D Animated Movie Project.

Yes that’s right if you click here MY KICKSTARTER PROJECT you can help yourself to a piece of what will be movie history. I’m making a trailer for my up coming movie and I really need your help! Give as much as you like for wonderful and valuable rewards.

Sadly we live in a suspicious world so if you send this link to a friend you might like to use this one to show that there isn’t any funny business involved, there never is on my blog or site but then only you and I know that don’t we!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1316679464/getting-out-animated-3d-short-film-trailer

They can paste it into their browser and go straight to my 3D animated movie project page on Kickstarter.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Oct 312012
 

Christmas is coming and I know that it should never be mentioned before my birthday which is not for a month actually (hint hint) but I am always a sucker for a bargain aren’t you and look what I have found!

Two please

Wow! Now that’s great value in any currency don’t you agree. By the way if you do agree I shall have ‘them’ send a person around in a white coat immediately for you.

Mind you now that we are on the subject of Christmas there probably isn’t a better gift for any poor soul who hasn’t yet got a copy of my wonderful books and if you use the link below you can be whizzed off to Amazon to get your very own copy or buy dozens and solve your Christmas present quandary in a trice.

And that also means people in Japan and India now by the way, which is handy because although most Japanese people don’t speak or read English they apparently are drawn to the cover of my book and have started buying it in the thousands so that they can rip the front cover off and frame it, how nice!

The Indians sadly still seem to regard any paper as toilet paper and so I shan’t tell you what my spies observed in a New Deli bookshop it’s just too harrowing for such a good looking Cat and talented author to contemplate.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 282012
 

It is one of the fundamental truths of life we all have dreams! Here is a version of the American Dream from Colorado.

We all have dreams Colorado

At first I though that this dream was simple but the hard, agonising truth, is that the more you think about wanting clean dirt the more impossible it is to make that dream a reality. Just as the folks who ran nuclear power stations around the world that have had accidents have probably discovered and will be striving for ‘clean dirt’ for hundreds of years to come.

Did you know that since 1961 until now there have been 99, yes 99 (what a shame you can’t put numbers in capitals) nuclear accidents! Staring with Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States in January 1961 and ending with the disaster at Mihama Nuclear Power Plant Fukushima, Japan in 2011.

Though not responsible in any way for the accident at Three Mile Island, here is a picture of President Jimmy Carter on the scene, I think he looks a bit guilty, but that could be shock! Couldn’t it?

Pres Carter 3 Mile Island

You have to wonder just how strictly rules and procedures were enforced back in those days , and of course now, because nuclear plants can “go up” at any time.

Why am I asking that pointed, or to some pointless, question well the sign above the President’s head says “UNNECESSARY PERSONNEL STAY BEHIND LINE” clearly in the picture the radiation bootied Pres has both feet over those all important lines.

Oh sorry I forgot the Three Mile Island did “go up” didn’t it! Which I suppose answers my question doesn’t it!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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May 282012
 

Pocari Sweat or as they say in Japan ポカリスエット Pokari Suetto is a great name for a soft drink isn’t it? I am surprised that the good folk at Red Bull didn’t snap that one up aren’t you then we could have the Pocari Sweat racing teams competing in all sorts of ‘fast’ events where a lot of err… sweating is done.

Thirsty Read The Sign Bet You Aren t Now Japan

Seriously though, would you, even if you were hot and um… sweaty drink a bottle of the stuff even if it was straight from the fridge?

I am sure like me you are asking yourselves, my dear cuddly readers why the Japanese like the idea of drinking ‘sweat’ well (sadly) there’s a perfectly reasonable answer – and that is that the Japanese, bless them, in the main don’t actually mentally translate names that appear in English on product labels and so they aren’t bothered by what that name might mean in English, that’s a pity because that reasonable explanation takes some of the fun out of the idea of millions of hot Japanese people reaching for a can or bottle of ‘sweat’ to cool themselves down doesn’t it!

Oh I nearly forgot apparently, according to the manufacturers, the word ‘Pocari’ doesn’t have a meaning it is, wait for it, according to the clever marketeers – a light, bright sound.

Well I don’t know about you but when the Cat says Pocari it doesn’t really sound light or bright to me and if it did the attachment of the word ‘sweat’ to the name ruins any shine the word may have.

Pocari sweat 500ml


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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