Tag Archives: John lennon

The Happiest Of Christmases To You

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Although I am a superstar and probably now ‘bigger’ than John Lennon – a reference which I hope my older will appreciate and of course before they throw rotten tomatoes at me is a joke – I never forget the people who have helped me become ‘immense.’

Not only would I like to thank Ginger, Bert the Black and White Cat and of course Dave the Cat I would like to thank all of my loyal and adoring fans who I hope like me because I am a great writer and make them laugh and not only because I can act like a very warm furry stole on their knees which is handy now that the dead fur stole variety is out of fashion. Which of course makes me wonder whatever happened to all of the queen of England’s furs? She had an amazing collection and presumably inherited her Mum’s even bigger collection.

So after getting side tracked a little I would like to say “thank you to all my fans and the three aforementioned moggies, this year has been a wonderful ‘whirlwind’ and next year with all of your help I am expecting a ‘tornado’ of a year especially with the new book.

I sincerely hope that your Christmas is as good as the one I will have and that the new year brings everything that we hope it will.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL

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About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Great News

The reaction to my latest brilliant idea has been amazing and so what was going to be a very quiet Easter weekend turned into a sort of email fest, where I was replying to fans taking advantage of my amazingly clever idea and of course brilliant scheme – The Great Giveaway

What am I talking about? Well my fantastic giveaway of course (check the link here or my last blog for more information.

The Great Giveaway has been so successful that I am already thinking of expanding it and will probably look at getting some Apple iPads for prizes when they come over here to Europe if they turn out to be more popular than iPod Touches, although what am I saying? That is like John Lennon saying that the Beatles were more famous than the son of God and look who fills more venues now? So what sort of idiot would say that?

One thing I am going to change though is this – I will have to reluctantly change the system a little and send an automated reply and that is because sending all of those email replies by paw over the Easter weekend meant that I couldn’t write any blogs or more importantly put on a few pounds by eating Easter Eggs followed by large numbers of Hot Cross Buns!

Well I hope that you had a very Happy Easter, I am off to cuddle up against a large Chocolate Easter Egg in the window and eat until I pop. Oh don’t worry about the Chocolate melting I am looking forward to cleaning that off my fur, you know how we Cats get clean, it will be like a second helping of Chocolate Egg won’t it?

As you can see from a picture taken on Easter Sunday, Peter the Chocolate Hand Crafted Bunny didn’t really put up much of a fight especially after a quick munch on the Creme Egg, wow the sugar rush you get from one of those babies could power the Space Shuttle if it wasn’t being retired this year. After one bite I was quite ready to wrestle control of the world and not just bite the head off a Bunny.

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Whales Tunes Are Deeper! Are They Auditioning For xFactor?

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Hello all, I have just finished my toasted Tuna sandwich – I do wish that ‘they’ would hold the toast, but what can you do when you only get toasted Tuna sandwiches when they have slipped off a serving plate on the way to the kitchen table and taken a tumble down here, to the Cat shelf!

Anyway I have finished the Tuna filling from a really nice toasted Tuna sandwich, I of course, licked off all of the low cal spread, yes it is one of those weeks here – a slimming week poor humans, and I even tried to bite my way through the Tuna tasting toast but the darn stuff crunches everywhere doesn’t it and everywhere in this case was right up my nose.

After sneezing a lot I checked the news on the good old, though dreadfully bias, inaccurate and advert filled BBC News.co.uk and was delighted to see a nice story for a change!

Blue Whales who are some of us mammals biggest relatives have started to sing their “whale songs” in a deeper key, or that is what I read from someone who obviously has been listening at their doors.

In so much that the news was just about Blue Whales singing in a deeper tone the news wasn’t up to much obviously, but it was the next bit of the news which pricked (if you can say that on a blog?) up my interest.

Some scientists believe that the reason why our biggest of cousins and I am not talking about big Auntie Susan here, oh no, still the Blue Whales, the reason why they have dropped down to baritone (even the lady Blue Whales apparently) is that they could be happier that their numbers have increased and put them less at risk at becoming extinct, which let’s face it is a pretty good reason for a good old sing song.

They are, it would seem, happier as baritones even the lady Blue Whales bless them, I’ll say no more.

So next I was going to make a light of this monumental moment for Blue Whales and that is because I am happy for them and also because a little ‘gagette’ here and there does tend to brighten the day doesn’t it?

And I have to say I love to brighten anyone’s day, because they then tend to go off and buy my book which regular readers will tell you is excellent and that you can you can buy it here Amazon.com.

But sadly the object of my little joke a person who won the xFactor or is that the XFactor sometime ago is missing. She was it seemed a nice lady and won by singing from a classical repertoire which is also nice. Obviously I don’t watch TV if something like this lighter than air entertainment is on because it makes me want to hurk up one or two fur balls so I didn’t remember the dear lady’s name.

Obviously when you can’t remember something a good place to look is Bing.com it is more of a search engine than Google.com and even if it isn’t it has less annoying adverts and inaccuracies. So I typed in a few key words as you do and got nowhere what so ever.

It seems that a winner of the xFactor is like a butterfly, they appear, they entertain, (though of course few butterflies sing either pop or classical music), and then they disappear which is probably just as well from what I have heard of what is describes as their “talent” bless them.

But it is annoying for this comedic Cat because I was going to say that the Blue Whales’ drop in tone might be something to do with listening to this nice lady who won the xFactor and has obviously now vanished, but the gag doesn’t work so well when it is explained like that and anyway I may have gone on to say why the Blue Whales were singing in deeper voices and that might have got a little rude.

So all in all I suppose it is a good thing for all concerned that winners of the xFactor disappear for good. One thing I did notice in my bing.com style search is that the person to blame for the xFactor, a Simon someone, is leaving the show!

Let’s hope that he follows the ‘stars’ that he has created and slips as quietly as possible into total obscurity and that soon after the show Titanic-like, joins him, because it all sounds so awful.

Still what do I care really? I don’t is the answer!

Actually a thought just occurred to me, and it is that I may have an answer as to why the Blue Whales are singing in a deeper tone and that is of course that they are in training for an appearance on the xFactor show, ah yes it all becomes clear now!

Lastly, I am so glad that I, a good looking Cat, wasn’t a ‘one hit wonder’ and just famous for a mere five minutes! And I would like to thank all of my fans for making that possible.

Now you have to work on your friends and make me more famous than John Lennon, who bless him, once said in a fit of complete stupidity that he was more famous than Jesus! Whoever he is? Let’s face it what have either of them done recently har ha.

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