Mar 052012
 

You live in a wonderful sunny country right next to the sea and you have always wanted to open a restaurant and so you carefully select the location for your new restaurant – being close to tourists is always a good idea if you want a lot of customers and a successful business, you chose a menu that appeals to your customers and provides delicious well cooked reasonably priced food and you employ staff who are friendly, polite and cheerfully knowledgable about the cuisine you are providing.

Then all that is left after so much meticulous planning is to choose a name that’s inviting, has meaning and makes potential customers want to come through the door – as you can see the owner of the restaurant below followed almost all of those rules!

Desperate Customers

I hope you can’t hear the waterfall background!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 302011
 

As the title says, everyone loves a fart joke although in my books and blogs I try to keep farting to a minimum, but it creeps in occasionally – as the actress said to the Bishop! Boom Boom!

Even though I do try to stop a fart appearing now and again in my books and blogs, the Cat who writes blogs couldn’t resist this photograph which I think should be entitled Where To Shop For A Small Explosion that being the first bit of the first line of the definition of a ‘fart’ in the 26 or so volume Oxford English Dictionary which adds that “the small explosion takes place between the legs” bless them – the dictionary people not the farters you understand!

Where To Shop For A Small Explosion

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 072011
 

So here’s proof that some religions actually do have a sense of humour. Trust it to be the Buddhists who I understand are pretty calm and collected, for religious nuts.

At Last A Religion With A Sense of Humour Or Is That Irony

I’ve heard that Buddhists don’t preach elitism, fire and damnation or any of the usual religious stuff and that’s nice. Although isn’t Buddhism the religion that believes that if you are a bad human you will come back as a lesser being or animal? Which suggests to me that Buddhists may think that a bad human might be reincarnated as a Cat! Really, that isn’t very nice is it?

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”


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Aug 122011
 

Not so long ago I was scuffing through the lanes of England doing a bit of research form my new book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ which is going to be just as wonderful as my last book ‘Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary’ which I am happy to say is still in print and can be bought for a snip at Amazon.com or my www.thecatsdiary.com and I saw this sign.

I don’t know about you I slow down for Monkeys, I hope you do too I think we all should.

Slow Down For Monkeys

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 252011
 

Being an innocent Cat does sometimes have its problems, which I have to say are sometimes almost as bad as not being able to lie something that comes naturally to most humans, I have explained in my latest book ‘Getting Out Excerpts From a Cat’s Diary’ that Cats find it impossible to lie read my book if you didn’t know that you’ll love it.

Unfortunately being an innocent Cat means that one is disadvantaged just like when I was with a couple of humans the other day and they saw this sign and couldn’t stop laughing.

Please can Someone Explain This Sign

Why they were laughing I have no idea, but I know that my lovely readers will end my embarrassment and tell me what this sign means and why its funny just let me know in a comment or write to me at thecat@thecatsdiary.com.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Apr 192011
 

Guinea Pig Hunting The Cat’s Step by Step Guide

  • Step One Stalk Guinea Pig – Check

  • Step Two – Pounce on Guinea Pig – Check

  • Step Three – Wrestle Guinea Pig to Ground – Check

  • Step Four – Don’t whatever you do fall asleep…

Guinea Pig

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Feb 232011
 

In Chengdu China they have special toilets for men – worrying! You wouldn’t want to use one of those would you?

Chinese special toilet

But if you have one of these breakfasts then you would ‘have’ to go wouldn’t you – life is a bitch isn’t it?

Intestinal breakfast

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Feb 012011
 

I thought I would tell you a little ‘jokette,’ which though quite distasteful for two reasons, it has a dead Cat in it and a banker, is still rather funny, and funny enough for me to slip it into my forthcoming book ‘The Travelogue’ so here it is!

How do you tell the difference between a dead Cat on the motorway and a dead banker? The answer is simple, there are skid marks around the Cat!

As for a picture to go with the joke sadly I could find a lot of pictures of Cats that had been knocked down on all sorts of roads but none of any bankers really you humans should do better! All of which means I though I would show you a picture of one of my favourite roads from America.

The road goes on forever.jpg

“The road goes on forever.” As J. R. R. Tolkien said.

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Dec 202010
 

You would think that if a Mouse and a Cat could make peace at Christmas and agree to share the same territory for their mutual benefit (in this case a Christmas tree) then you would expect no less than all of the argumentative humans around the world especially the ones who allegedly believe in ‘peace.’

And frankly I’m not going to waste my breath on pointing out who needs to try and live peacefully either with their neighbours or indeed with the rest of the world – you all know who you are!

Mouse&Cat.jpg

All I will say is that all of you ‘intelligent’ humans could do better and follow the example of us ‘dumb’ animals.

About the Genius Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in history, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

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Dec 172010
 

Isn’t it nice that I have won a prize for the best way to describe a wonderfully funny, clever and extremely entertaining website.

The Cat & Kindle.png

I have to say that it is only what I would expect being a “pure genius” as a reviewer said about me on the back cover of my excellent bestselling book – ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary!’

So now ‘www – wickedly wonderful website’ the phrase I have always to refer to my amazing website www.thecatsdiary.com is officially considered the best way to describe a really great website by the Web’s Governing body – how cool is that? How clever is this Cat?

Personally I would also add honest, kind, good looking and modest to any list of compliments referring to me, but then as some cosmetics brand once advertised that’s“Because I’m worth it!”

Are they worth it.jpg

Oops! I originally typed a question mark at the end of the sentence above instead of an exclamation mark – maybe I was influenced by the way that the famous stars said the line in the ads – now I am imagining thousands of “Cuts” sigh! and “let’s do that one more time” as the ad was filmed – they wouldn’t have had the same problem with me I promise har ha.

Actually when you look at the models from l’Oreal Paris you start to wonder if they are “worth it” they aren’t the most attractive models in the world are they? They have rather large Jerry Hall type mouths I think, but then I am a Cat and this young Bengal lady Cat is more to my liking.

Cute Cat.jpg

Oh! I nearly forgot if you haven’t do! Sorry let me explain, if you haven’t bought my book and you want to click either here Amazon.com or here  www.thecatsdiary.com and you’ll be able to buy my book at either Amazon.com or my award winning site www – wickedly wonderful website, either way you are in for hours and hours of laughter and fun – more fun that you would normally expect from a book even though I say so myself.

You know I occasionally dip into my wonderful book and even I laugh at what is happening in spite of the fact that I was there and it was all happening to me! Obviously the sign of a great book.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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