Jul 182014
 

My youngest daughter just got a new Pushchair dangly thing, a Beaver (you can tell it’s a Beaver by the faithful, natural colouring and design of course) and I was asked to give it a name.

Justin Beaver

Well in my book there could only be one name for such a handsome Beaver.
Dear cuddly readers please meet Justin Beaver, I called the new toy that because he does look rather like the… I’m sorry I had to go away and look up exactly what Justin Bieber did, apparently he is a Canadian singer-songwriter, dancer, and actor, well you learn something everyday!

JUSTIN BIEBER


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Nov 032011
 

Is it just me or are you worried too?

I ask this question because things, it seems, have gone rather quiet at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, in fact things have gone too quiet if you ask me!

Why hasn’t there been any news from the Large Hadron Collider, only a month or so ago were were promised a glimpse at the ‘God particle’ as it is known to say nothing of a look up the skirt (as it were) at the Higgs boson but sadly the hypothetical massive elementary particle remains firmly ‘hypothetical’ as far as I am aware.

Higgs event

So what has happened? Has something gone wrong? I’m worried aren’t you? No I am very worried why aren’t you? If that baby ‘goes up’ some say that their flat world will sink, worrying stuff isn’t it?

I was wondering if I’d had my iPod on too loud and missed a large bang just a few countries away? There has been a lot of fog in Prague recently, but that is just fog not smoke, well that what I tell myself, it comforts me!

Surely something should have happened by now at the world’s most expensive experiment, well the world most expensive experiment if you don’t include the one currently being held to discover exactly what talent Justin Bieber possess; 2 billion hits on YouTube teh!^ It just goes to show exactly how poor the taste of 28% the world’s population actually is!

If anyone can tell me what Justin Beiber does I would be grateful he is either so far below or above this Cat’s radar that he actually doesn’t exist or maybe, just maybe Justin Bieber is what the Large Hadron Collider has discovered or worse created and they are keeping very, very quiet about it.

Oh look what I have found a picture (below) of little Justin Bieber. For those of you who are old enough you must remember Donny Osbourne? Surely Justin is a Donny clone? (Picture of Donny below as well to prove this clever Cat’s point!)

Justinbieber

Donny O

I wondered what Donny Osbourne is doing these days so I searched for ‘osbourne’ in Google of course and came up with this recent snap. I see he is still in the music business and isn’t that Marie in the background at the Mormon tabernacle? They both look as though they have gone through a spin cycle at the Large Hadron Collider don’t they? I think it’s them though of course I could be wrong I am only a Cat after all!

Blacksunday

^Note

The word teh above is not a typo it’s used to describe the sound that a Cat makes when expressing disbelief! Just thought I would tell you so you don’t think I’m uneducated.

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