Apr 132012
 

Kitten

This unlike most of my writing in books and blogs is not a work of comic genius but (I hope) an informative article that will save the lives of more than one Kitten because I have noticed that the vast global conglomerates who make Flea spray are advertising their products so Flea time has come around again and we are all about to get sprayed with pesticides most of which would be banned if they were used on humans.

What my rather eye catching headline means is this. Ok we all get Fleas because we have fur coats, or are like Hedgehogs and live outside, but that is no reason for you humans to reach for a can of Flea spray without first thinking and definitely reading this article for some helpful hints and tips before you start to mist up every Kitty in sight.

Why you may ask is this Cat getting all serious, well the answer is pretty simple, if you use Flea spray or Flea powder on a Kitten there is a good chance that you will kill it, because kittens are really very fragile.

Ok call me a “daft Cat, Fleas have to be got rid of!” I hear you mumble. Well you are right and there are ways to get rid of Fleas in young Kittens without getting rid of the Kitten permanently.

As you humans may or may not know Fleas can actually do young Kittens a lot of harm, they can cause death by Anaemia and of course that means that Fleas have to be dealt with quickly and efficiently.

If your Kitten or Kittens are with their Mum and nursing it’s more than likely that Mum has a Flea problem so the first thing you need to do is to treat her, when she is taking a break from looking after her Kittens if you can. If there are other cats or dogs in the household you need to treat all pets and also your house.

Not many people know that the safest way to treat a Kitten under 6 weeks of age for Fleas is simply to give them a bath in warm water and a very mild shampoo like a baby one, then just pick off the Fleas that don’t jump ship so to speak.

Most mild shampoos can be effective against Fleas and will kill them quickly which just water won’t. When you wash a Kitten or indeed a Cat the best way to do it is in the kitchen sink, gently dip the Kitten in the water and then using your hand pour water over their fur then gently rub in the shampoo around the neck, face, head, ears, and under the chin.

I can’t stress this enough do please be careful not to get soap in the Kitten’s eyes. You may notice that Fleas are not daft and as your Kitten gets wet they will scurry up the Kitten’s body heading for the high dry ground of the head area you can stop this by carefully washing the head but don’t forget what I said about the eyes.

Web Design Kittens

While you change the water to rinse your Kitten wrap your Kitten in a blanket change the water and then carefully and gently put your Kitten back into the water with most of the Kitten’s body underwater and leave the Kitten like that for a few minutes to drown as many Fleas as you can.

It almost goes without saying, but I know you humans are a little hard of understanding so I will say it having two people wash a Kitten makes life a lot easier, one to hold the Kitten and the other to wash, and of course two humans almost equal a Kitten in Brainpower – well that is what I have found tee hee.

The things to remember when washing a Kitten are.

1. Don’t let the Kitten get cold

2. Don’t let the Kitten’s head go underwater

3. Don’t get shampoo in the Kitten’s eyes

4. Kittens can break so be gentle

After you have given your Kitten a bath use a flea comb. If you don’t own a Flea comb then the good news is that they are cheap to buy and very effective and will get all of the Fleas that have been clever enough to stay in the Kittens fur in spite of the bath.

The best time to comb your Kitten is it’s still damp. Just comb over his body with a flea comb and then pick off the last of the Fleas while they are struggling to get away through the damp hair.

It’s a good idea to have a container of boiling water handy so that you can drop the fleas into it as you catch the little blighter.

I promise that hot water is best because I remember as a Kitten watching Fleas actually jump out of cold water. Another idea is to have some sticky tape placed sticky side up and put the captured fleas on this. Combing may be easier on a shorthair kitten than a longhair one.

The things to make this easier.

1. You can put some Vaseline at the bottom of the comb’s teeth. It will stop the Fleas escaping the comb

2. Put a little Vaseline on the tip of your fingers that is you see a Flea on your kitten you can dab it quickly with a blob. I know it sounds as though I am pulling both of your legs but I assure you that it will stop the Flea from running away and so make it much easier for you to catch the Flea.

Kittens 3


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Sep 232011
 
VIDEO_DESCRIPTION



Click on the picture above or the link here to be whisked into the centre of the drama. Kitten Rescue

My latest amazing video on my wickedly wonderful website shows the dramatic rescue undertake by a team of five rescue workers and hundreds of concerned humans worked continuously for two days to rescue a frightened 7 week old Kitten who had become trapped under the floor of a supermarket in Gothenburg.

After being rescued the Kitten wasn’t able to comment on how or why it chose to hide under the floor of a supermarket, but then you have to remember that:

a) Cats like to explore.
b) Cats don’t have to confide in humans.
3) Not all Cats are geniuses.

You can read more about the dramatic rescue and see the amazing video – which is not in real time and so only lasts a few minutes and not 2 days (thank goodness) here Kitten Rescue. It’s a lot like the movie 127 hours starring James Franco but happily in this rescue no one lost a Paw.

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May 102011
 

Recently in a suburb of London it took twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours…to rescue a KITTEN from a tree, and to this Cat that seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

A dozen firefighters sealed off a road for 30 hours and eventually brought in a hydraulic hoist to rescue a Cleo a Kitten who had lost her way when climbing a tree and instead of climbing down had gone the wrong way and climbed almost all the way to the top of a 50ft tree.

The Tree

The wonderful, brave and patient firefighters at first used a water cannon to ‘encourage Cleo the Kitten to climb down the tree, not to knock her out of the tree it has to be stress but that only forced Cleo to climb higher up the tree – but then we all know about Cats and water don’t we?

It was only after the firefighters called in reinforcements and a ‘cherry picker-style’ hydraulic device, that a fearless fireman was able to grab Cleo and bring her back down to earth.

A Happy Ending

Before leaving the patient firemen advised the Kitten’s human to put wire mesh around the base of the tree so that the Cleo wouldn’t be able to climb up the tree and cause such a commotion in future.

The Cat’s Opinion

First I have to say that people who have Cats and trees in their garden and don’t want to repeat the palaver described above should do what the clever firefighters suggested and put Chicken Wire around the base of the tree.

Secondly I think that firefighters are just wonderful and should have their salaried doubled immediately.

Lastly as I said above, but it is worth saying again twelve firefighters, a road closure, a water cannon and 30 hours to rescue a Kitten from a tree, seems to be about the right number of humans, the appropriate amount of fuss and confusion to expend on something as precious as a Cat!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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Mar 222011
 

Ah! Sometimes pictures do that don’t they? They make you go ‘ah’ and then feel all good inside! Here is a nice picture that will undoubtedly make all you humans go ah! I call it “Lovebirds of a Feather – where’s me feathers?” Just to annoy one of my younger friends ‘Davy’ who was taken advantage of by a Parrot and a photographer when he was snatching a bit of a doze before having a really long snooze.

Personally I think that it’s terrible that photographers take pictures like this, in the Cat World we call this sort of imagery ‘Kitten Porn’ but I know you humans like it – shame on you!

What is worse when we showed this blog to poor Davy he took it rather badly and tried to stay awake and never sleep, of course that didn’t work and after a few days he had forgotten all about it, but that’s Kittens for you, one Kitten has much sense as all of the members of the British Royal family, who, as we all know are dreadfully ‘limited’ in every respect.

Having said all of that Davy’s anguish did make me think that I may have been around humans for too long, because I thought the picture below called “Love Birds Of A Feather – Where’s Me Feathers?” was rather funny – yes I need professional help don’t I?

Love Birds Of A Feather  Where s Me Feathers

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Mar 012011
 

Workers at a British supermarket recently opened a sealed crate from Malaysia and just couldn’t believe what was inside. From the warm darkness a pair of shining eyes looked up at them and they heard a little squeak.

The eyes and the squeak belonged to a brave little kitten who had survived a journey of several thousand miles for over a month by licking condensation off the walls of the crate.

It goes without saying that the kitten was tired, hungry and very thin, but when the staff of the supermarket picked her up and gave her a hug she started to purr and meow for food. This lucky kitten couldn’t have turned up, or is that have been unpacked in a better place, and the supermarket workers were soon offering small amounts of the best cat food and some water.

The sensible supermarkets workers also called in the RSPCA – which is the UK version of the ASPCA – who checked her over and declared that although she was hungry she was healthy, probably about 8 weeks old and after staying in quarantine for six months will be given a new home in the UK. Of course offers to home the well travelled kitten have been pouring in.

It is thought that the kitten most likely crawled into the crate when it was awaiting loading in the port of Penang. The crate with the kitten inside would have been first placed inside a container and sealed so that it can’t be tampered with or of course be used by people wanting to illegally enter the UK, then the container would have been loaded into the hold of the ship for the three week voyage to the UK.

At Southampton the container would have been loaded onto a lorry to complete the final part of its journey and as they say – you know the rest – there was quite a surprise for the people unpacking one particular crate.

Isn’t it nice to have a happy ending for a change?

Cat in Box

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Aug 262010
 

Ok Brad and Ange (that is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie if you need a clue) do it so why not a Monkey? It has come to my attention that a long-tailed Macaque Monkey has been discovered looking after a Kitten in the forests of Bali and apparently is doing a better job than some humans.

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I have to say that if your name is Macaque you probably need all the friends you can the name sounds a bit ‘french’ if you know what I mean, that Monkey should definitely avoid standing with his hand on his hip with a name like Macaque shouldn’t he? Mind you judging from this portrait I think that the Monkey should be called Ronald he really looks like a ‘Ronald’ don’t you agree?

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Still both Monkey and Kitten are doing well and when asked how he felt about being adopted by a Monkey the Kitten was reported to say. “Migle, mmh ahh, ugh!” Which suggest that the Monkey may be cuddling just a little too enthusiastically.

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But a little bit of tough love never hurt anyone Kittens included and compared to the thoroughly revolting woman who me and the lads ‘sorted’ recently. You remember dear reader the dreadful old hag who seemed to think that it was really clever, funny – well I don’t exactly know what the dreadful middle aged bag thought when she petted and then dumped a Cat in a trash container – well there is no comparison is there? Once again animals prove to be more civilised than humans, sorry I am blushing now but we really are a cut above a lot of humans aren’t we?

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