For a number of months now I have noticed that both companies (namely banks but also insurance companies) and nations that have spent too much are getting really rather large bail-outs and I would like to know if any of my readers know where I can get mine because I have just heard that Ireland has gone for the big one and quite frankly if they qualify then so do I?
Why should I have an enormous bail-out well I have diligently followed the examples of the frivolous banks, building societies and countries and bought things I don’t need with money that I don’t have and now I want the first installment of my reward.
I deserve a mind bogglingly large bail-out because it is very very difficult to spend a million Euros/Dollars or Pounds let alone getting on for a billion I can tell you and quite frankly even I have to take my hat off (if I had one) to the guys at Lehman Bros, HBOS, Bank of America, Citibank, Lloyds Bank, Greece, Spain, Portugal and of course the star spenders of them all Ireland; they have done an incredible job of spending money that they didn’t ever have a hope of having and most definitely could never earn.
Personally I think that it is only fair that I should get a sizable bail-out package even though I am a just a Cat because I know that even if I haven’t qualified yet I can be as reckless as the star spenders mentioned above who like any Cat or indeed other dumb animal don’t know the value of what they have bought only that it must have been good because it cost so much.
What is it my Mum used to say – if you read my book you will remember I said she said “Jump” well they were the last words she said, but she also said that “fools” or were they “finance ministers know the price of everything and the value of nothing!”
Please send my bail-out to my Paypal address firstname.lastname@example.org. There that is simple enough even a finance minister could follow those instructions couldn’t they?
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