It is crazy at the moment – but then it was me and not an assistant who signed up to be a superstar wasn’t it.
My agent the great Mr. T. A. Leibowitz, ‘call me Todd’ has just sent me a picture of my book advertised on the street in New York – are you impressed? I know I am, look at my bone structure, poise, elegance and stance, I am, I have to admit one extremely good-looking animal.
Then you have to add the facts that I am extraordinarily intelligent, absurdly rich and incredibly famous and you get someone who is a true star and so very special.
I have decided to help little Nicole Kidman regain her fame, she came to me in floods of tears earlier today, poor lamb, apparently the Los Angeles Times which as we all know is one of the biggest mouthpieces of Hollywood, reported that she, bless her little cotton socks, was no longer a star! Don’t you just love her and of course pity her!