Tag Archives: my ebook

The Snow Has Decided To Cover Everything

If this were ‘Santa Time’ and it was December the 25th looking out of my window would be a pleasure because snow is festive, but this much on a work day is totally unacceptable.

As you can see from the photograph this is what I have to wade through in order to get the the Barrandov movie studio today.

Mind you if you are an autograph collector then you are going to have a field day because I have left loads of paw prints and as all my loyal and lovely fans and readers know ‘pawing’ is the way I autograph their books.

But speaking of leaving ‘marks’ in the snow I would like to complain about Dogs (yet again, the yellow marks they leave in the snow are totally unacceptable, we all know that but do they? Of course they don’t, and they aerial widdle to their hearts content along the pathway and in fact all the way to the studio.

Dogs are disgusting and they terrible thing is that they know it – we have all seen Dogs, in all weathers, rolling in fresh p** oh the thought of it is just too awful for a Cat with sensibilities to consider.

Now don’t get me wrong I like Dogs the shaggy German Shepherd Dog I keep here has his uses as you will know from my amazingly successful and desperately funny bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’

‘Ben,’ that is the dozily shaggy hounds name is great to snuggle up next to in the depths of winter – well about now actually – although sometimes he smells as though he ‘rolls’ in ‘something’ if you know what I mean!

When he smells like that you have to weigh up ‘warmth’ against ‘odour’ and that is a terrible choice that even Sophie would find difficult to make, but leaving Merly Streep aside for a moment, I bet my female readers and fans can identify with that conundrum!

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For anyone who hasn’t bought my book or worse never heard of ‘me’ (if that is at all possible) until today there are several things you can do to save yourself so follow these instructions very carefully.

The first is to click here and buy my book Amazon.com and the second is to go to my www – wickedly wonderful website and catch up – you have a lot of catching up to do – and if you want to kill two birds with one paw (so to speak) then you could choose to buy my book at my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com while you spend hours learning about probably the most famous, talented and modest Cat around.

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How To ‘Sign’ Christmas

Have you ever wanted to know how to say “Happy Christmas” in sign language and be able to wish your friends with hearing loss a “Happy Christmas?”

I know I would want to if I were human! Sadly paws don’t ‘do’ sign language very well, although it is worth remembering that as well as understanding human speech Cats can and do lip read – yes you didn’t know that did you?

Here is the perfect and simplest way to say Happy Christmas in sign language using ASL (American Sign Language), it is by no means the only way to do that because sign language is an amazingly varied and rich language but most deaf people are very clever at interpreting what you ‘say’ and will be able to understand what you are signing happily.

There are two basic signs that you have to master to say “Happy Christmas” in sign language the first (below) is ‘Happy’ (obviously) and involves holding your hands (which I must say I envy you having) straight out in front of your body and then twirling them in different direction as indicated by the nice bald man and handy arrows in the picture.

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Once you have done that the second sign is equally as simple and basically comprises the sign letter for ‘C’ a curl made up of your fingers and thumbs waved from right to left and if you add that to the first sign you have “Happy Christmas” in sign language.

Isn’t it nice to think that thanks to this wonderful Cat you can sign Happy Christmas I think so and wish I could but the closest I have got with my paws is “have cash” – and that is not something you want to advertise in public in snowy Prague one of the cities currently competing for “Pickpocketing Capital of the World.”

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Don’t forget that Amazon.com have restocked my best selling book and that means that you can still order it now and have it delivered before the noel day, they say that my book makes a wonderful present and who am I to disagree?

Get your copy or better still copies here Amazon.com and of course you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www Рwickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can also enjoy a lot of other stuff free online games, jokes, and so much more.

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A Cat For Christmas

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I have just had some amazing news from those good people at Amazon.com and that is that my humble book is selling like cakes straight from the oven and they are so confident that they will break all sales records with it that they are going to order more copies than usual to meet what they describes and “an enormous and rather unexpected demand.”

Now correct me if I am a little wrong but does “an enormous and rather unexpected demand” sound like the opposite of a compliment to you?

Yes I thought so too – but and it is one of the biggest ‘buts’ I have ever used the fact that my book is selling so well is wonderful news isn’t it? Are you happy for one of the cuddliest, furriest, nicest and best looking authors out there? I know I am!

Mind you there is one thing that I would like you all to know and that is that if good old Amazon.com does run out of copies of my wonderful and unputdownable book and masked men start selling the book for a small fortune in the ‘used’ section of Amazon.com don’t panic and don’t get ripped off simply click along to my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where oh lucky you, you can get either an ebook or a printed copy.

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I do hope that you enjoy my book at Christmas this year and please don’t forget to tell me what you think of it once you have finished. I really do value your compliments!”

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E-books Outsell Hardbacks On Amazon.com

Apparently Amazon.com, the online retailer and owner of the Kindle e-reader, has announced that digital books have been consistently outselling hardback books for the last three months in the US.

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I would like to stress that my ebook (pictured above with me on the cover) is not the only one helping to outshine the old way of reading books there are others who are doing their bit like that nice little Dan Brown, the old geezer Leo Tolstoy and last but not least – well you know who you are!

But the big news is that because Amazon.com decided to stock my wonderful masterpiece of a book they have managed to sell enough to overfill a good sized shed or as they put it “they have sold shed loads which I think means the same thing, personally I think that you would need five or six sheds but then what do I know about storing books in sheds!

Don’t forget if you want a hard paper copy of my book you can still go to Amazon.com for it or you can get an ebook, they don’t really mind taking your money for either.

And if you want my wonderful book personally signed then do click here and get transported to my wickedly wonderful website or www www.thecatsdiary.com where you can get all sorts of wonderful things.

I couldn’t resist sharing my wonderful picture which is on the cover of my book with you all once again so here it is.

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