Aug 082011
 

So when is a door not a door? When it has been touched by a human I suppose!

Life can be very confusing and speaking personally as a Cat I wish that you humans wouldn’t make it any more complicated than it has to be.

When Is A Door Not A Door

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 282011
 

Don’t you wonder what the something is? I know I do! If you look closely at the ‘delicious’ picture from this restaurant you can see a lot of things that might be added to the beef in addition to the Chilli Sauce.


Do You Know What Are You Eating


So far I can see tiny pulse like things that I think are maggots. Something green which is obviously the famous ‘green thing’ that is in all Chinese meals in China but banned from Chinese takeaways in the West. Is that the edge of an Octopus’s arm towards the bottom in the middle I think so don’t you?

Definitely there is a bit of vomit on the left of the picture and I have a feeling that the whole thing turned and started looking at me with the look of a bully in a fairground who asks “what are you looking at?’ To which the answer always sadly seems to be a beating at best or death at worst.

One thing I do know is that I love Chinese food, but not enough to eat Sliced Beef and Something in Chilli Sauce that’s for sure!






About the Author



The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 142011
 

Dead Rats Old
I thought I would share a couple of photographs which I took when I was in Paris the other day.

Etablissements Julien Aurouze, Paris is an odd little shop as you can see from the display in the window they sell Rat traps and all sorts of other things that snap and dispatch the furry kind such as gulp yours truly.

As you can see from their window display of far too many dead Rats the stuff they sell does seem to work all too well.

Mind you for those of you who are like me and have a delicate constitution to match their stomach I can tell you happily that the rats in the window are preserved Rats and have been on display since 1925.

It’s a bit worrying that they look so fresh until you realise that Madam Tussaud was born in the neighbourhood and look what she has done to major and minor celebrities.

Some say that the shop was featured in the Disney movie Ratatoullie maybe one of my clever readers could say whether that is true or not because of course I don’t watch movies about Rats or Dogs for that matter so I don’t know if that is the truth.

Dead Rats Colour

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 082011
 

I have often wondered where lies come from, who invented them and so on and so forth. I even watched the dreadful film by that awful idiot Ricky Gervais but sadly failed to find out where lies came from or in that case be entertained at all but that is beside the point of course.

So where do lies come from? Well I think I have the answer. I got my driver to follow the truck in the picture and guess what lies come from Luxembourg. I would have thought France or Germany both countries and their people have been known to tell some enormous porkies in the past but I didn’t think that little Luxembourg could be capable of inventing lying did you?

Lorry Load of Lies


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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May 312011
 

We all know that in Japan they take work very seriously. So seriously that if you cause trouble for your employer then you could pay the ultimate penalty!

Hang your Employee

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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May 242011
 

My dear lovely cuddly readers I am afraid that I have to insist that you watch the ‘Ultimate Dog Tease video which I have just put up on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

To make it really very easy for you I have added a link that will whisk you to the correct page here Ultimate Dog Tease.

This video is not only one of the funniest videos I have seen it makes even the hardest hearted Cat feel sorry for at least one dog in the world.

Dog Tease

Who’d have thought that one day I would say “poor Doggie?”


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle

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Apr 192011
 

Guinea Pig Hunting The Cat’s Step by Step Guide

  • Step One Stalk Guinea Pig – Check

  • Step Two – Pounce on Guinea Pig – Check

  • Step Three – Wrestle Guinea Pig to Ground – Check

  • Step Four – Don’t whatever you do fall asleep…

Guinea Pig

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 182011
 

Cat: “You’re not only a very good looking Parrot, I am sure that you’re very clever as well.”

Parrot: “Thanks, I think I am clever and not only a pretty boy!”

Cat: That’s what I thought and now this is your opportunity to prove that to the world.”

Parrot: That would be nice! Thanks!”

Cat: “My pleasure, ok, so all you have to do is to get just a little closer to the window and then show me just how clever you are by reaching up to the window catch and undoing it with your beak.”

Parrot: “Sounds like a plan!”

Cat and Parrot


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Mar 172011
 

I don’t know how I do it, but I do! I have arranged for my boffins to set up two new free online games for you my lovely cuddly reader to play on my www.wickedly wonderful website so that you can while away your working day and return home fresh, relaxed and happy, aren’t I just the nicest Cat in the world? Of course I am.

The first new free online game is called Bloons

Here is what it’s about and what you have to do, which is frankly not much except enjoy.

Bloons are what Monkeys call Balloons – they’re daft aren’t they – but they did beat humans into space, though Cats got there first.

There is only one aim of the game and that is to shoot ‘Bloons,’ isn’t it nice when things are that simple? Oh by the way there are 50 levels and they do get a bit harder as you progress.

Here’s the Cat’s Tip: Hold down the mouse button and let go to shoot further.

Bloons Game   Grow Cube Game

The second free online game is called Grow Cube and I think it’s a bit strange – some might call it addictive though.

I personally think that Grow Cube is the first computer game that requires you to have a pencil and paper handy – you’ll need it I promise.

The devious devisers of the game say that, “all you have to do (understatement) is to add the right element at the right time other otherwise your cube isn’t going to grow.” You’ll get the hang of it all soon enough depending upon how clever you are of course!

Here’s my tip: Start with the man, and make lots of notes.

I hope that you enjoy both free on-line games and manage to to do just a small amount of work every so often when playing them.

To get to my games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website quickly just click here My Games Page to go straight to the latest free online game you would like to play simply click on its picture above, the pictures are rather clever links to my website, but then what do you expect from a rather clever Cat? Nothing less!

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Mar 122011
 

You have to try my latest game it’s a Helicopter Game that I have just added to the games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com, the lads and I have been playing it nonstop for a day now.

Dave the Cat holds the record here for having travelled to the Moon which is 238,857 miles – ok he’s a bit of a big head, but if it is any consolation his right paw is definitely falling off – no I know I shouldn’t laugh!

Helicopter Game

This is a great game that’s easy to play – well I found it easy and so did Dave the Cat obviously, you just left click to go up and let go to go down.

I hope you enjoy it and do try to beat Dave the Cat’s record by oh say travelling to the Moon and back tee hee and don’t forget you just left click to go up and let go to go down let me know how you do won’t you so that I can rub Dave The Cat’s nose in it – no sorry I mean so that I can let Dave the Cat know how good you are… simply click here Helicopter Game and you will be sitting in your helicopter ready to play with your joystick – now why does that sound odd!


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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