Tag Archives: Norway

All ready for the 2nd coming

Well folks, it looks like the chosen ones this time are going to be the Norwegians as they have already built the terminal that God will be arriving at.
All ready for the 2nd coming Norway
That is obviously a bitter blow to the current ‘chosen ones’ but then if you go around blowing up schools, children’s homes, hospitals and committing widespread genocide of your neighbours, who you are supposed to love as you love yourself, then what do you expect?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

A special salad that’s all the rage in NY!

Uck!

I prefer to not know that the deli has put hair and nails in my salad.

A special salad thats all the rage in NY


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Really Norway!

Really Norway

I’m sorry, I know it’s childish but ‘Farts’ get laughing me every time!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

So It’s True!

So the rumours are true they are only letting Penguins and Puffins out! Why I ask you? What have the rest of us done that is so wrong that we have been made to stay inside?

Only Penguins.jpg

And what is it with Penguins why do they get special treatment? Just look at how Penguins are treated in Norway! Surely this prompts the question why isn’t this happening to me? I think I have achieved more in the last year than a flock of penguins don’t you.

Penguin Salute.jpg

Just ask yourself ‘how many Penguins have written a bestselling unputdownable masterpiece book (available here Amazon.com of course) or have a fabulous blog?’ None of course – that settles it, I’m off to Norway to complain.

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They’ve Sold Peanuts – Does That Mean It’s Me Next?

Charlie Brown and Friends.jpg

So they have finally done it! They’ve gone and sold Peanuts to a faceless media corporation, but then of course Peanuts was actually owned by one before the sale with the ‘family’ owning about 25% so nothing changes there. But that did start me thinking about all sorts of other things like how can I be free and have my own rights?

But before we get into my freedoms and rights come on hands up who cares if Peanuts has been sold? Personally I never liked that little guy Charlie Brown, his voice was far too high and he was cruel to most of the people and animals he encountered. Then again of course I didn’t understand the humour, if indeed there was any, but of course I don’t ‘get’ Thanksgiving and that is because I am an English Cat.

Personally I always thought that Peanuts and the other characters were rather dull and worse I think that they all look like those vomit making faces of the characters from the “Love Is” cartoon series, except for the one where “love was” drowning Charlie Brown in schmaltz or did I dream that one?

What worries me and I am sure all of the other famous comedy characters like me is this – when am I going to be sold off and to whom? I really don’t think that I would like to work with those nice (I am sure) people at Iconix Brand Group Inc just look what they have done to the other ‘characters’ they own.

And what’s more who has the right to ‘own’ someone else, I am I thought a free Cat, and then I looked at my contract and realised that my rights are owned by someone else and not me, making me a slave surely? That is just not good enough I should be free don’t all of my wonderful fans agree?

So I have come up with a plan you will be pleased and relieved to hear to guarantee my freedom! I am going to buy the rights to myself, myself, yes you read that correctly, I am going to purchase my own rights so that I can be free to do and say what I like, and better still make the people I like such as all of my wonderful fans laugh, rather than be forced onto some TV commercial, Billboard or piece of corporate give-away crap.

Now based on my research and my own assessment of my core and creative value rounded up in a Goldman Sachs sort of a way and presented as a 25 year bond, I think that if Charlie Brown was worth $175 million, yes believe it or not $175 million then I have to be worth somewhere in the region of $550 million. Actually I was going to say $500 million but my paw slipped and frankly that is a typo I can live with.

So! I hear you ask, just how can I raise that kind of cash to emancipate myself? Well that is simple – Americans and the rest of the free world that is Britain and to some degree Norway believe in freedom for all and indeed all freedoms (unless it conflicts with their religion and or politics although it is difficult to see sometimes where the two separate) and that means that I can rely on them to help me in my struggle to emancipate myself in the same way that they are helping the Afghans to help themselves at the moment.

So if you would like help do please rush to my wickedly wonderful website www www.thecatsdiary.com use the donate button here the giveaway and you will help this Cat to be as free as you are and that is worth the price surely? As you donate you will also be able to join the Great Giveaway, although as the millions start to roll in I may well have provide much bigger prizes.

book-cover.jpg

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