Dec 052011
 

I think that most people and Cats would agree that men’s rooms are not really very nice places, and definitely not places where one would want to linger, unless you are a policeman attempting to catch poor old Mr. George Michael in another weak moment I suppose. However just because men’s rooms are not very nice places that doesn’t mean that visitors should be expected to lower their standards when they enter them does it?

So would someone please tell the Taiwanese that! And if possible do so immediately!

A Very Confusing Sign

Mind you, if most Taiwanese are anything like the ones who used to constantly call my mobile trying to sell me something that rhymes with ‘rap’ then they probably wouldn’t listen. Their nuisance calls got so bad that in the end the only way I could get rid of them was to pretend that I was my brother and answer the phone with a sob then tell then ten times that I was ‘dead!’

They obviously are a bit hard of understanding in Taiwan because it took me that number of times to sob and blurt out the awful ‘truth’ tee hee.

Do use this tactic on unwanted callers if you are fed up with feeling like a sitting duck with a phone waiting for the next completely unsolicited and unwanted call because there is no other way to stop these dreadful people who intrude upon our lives.

The phone regulator that you and I pay for as a hidden ‘extra’ on our phone bill is desperately useless and usually the people making these nuisance calls have hidden or nonexistent numbers.

You can of course ‘improve’ their English by swearing at them but I have personally found on every occasion I have adopted that tactic that, because of their trade and the number of people who have sworn at them, you really have to stretch your vocabulary to find something new that they haven’t been called before and even that won’t shock them into not calling you in the future!



The Cat would like to wish Mr. George Michael a speedy recovery and tell him when he reads this that, “I like his tunes!”

George Michael


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jul 252011
 

Being an innocent Cat does sometimes have its problems, which I have to say are sometimes almost as bad as not being able to lie something that comes naturally to most humans, I have explained in my latest book ‘Getting Out Excerpts From a Cat’s Diary’ that Cats find it impossible to lie read my book if you didn’t know that you’ll love it.

Unfortunately being an innocent Cat means that one is disadvantaged just like when I was with a couple of humans the other day and they saw this sign and couldn’t stop laughing.

Please can Someone Explain This Sign

Why they were laughing I have no idea, but I know that my lovely readers will end my embarrassment and tell me what this sign means and why its funny just let me know in a comment or write to me at thecat@thecatsdiary.com.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jun 282011
 

Don’t you wonder what the something is? I know I do! If you look closely at the ‘delicious’ picture from this restaurant you can see a lot of things that might be added to the beef in addition to the Chilli Sauce.


Do You Know What Are You Eating


So far I can see tiny pulse like things that I think are maggots. Something green which is obviously the famous ‘green thing’ that is in all Chinese meals in China but banned from Chinese takeaways in the West. Is that the edge of an Octopus’s arm towards the bottom in the middle I think so don’t you?

Definitely there is a bit of vomit on the left of the picture and I have a feeling that the whole thing turned and started looking at me with the look of a bully in a fairground who asks “what are you looking at?’ To which the answer always sadly seems to be a beating at best or death at worst.

One thing I do know is that I love Chinese food, but not enough to eat Sliced Beef and Something in Chilli Sauce that’s for sure!






About the Author



The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,