Aug 262013
 

Nude fresh Juicy in Prague

I know I wouldn’t. Shame on you Prague!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Jun 032013
 

As you can see from the picture below here in Prague we don’t have a water shortage, just the opposite in fact!

Flooding

Mind you I do think that someone should tell the chap in the picture that praying isn’t going to do any good, oh! and that his frock is wet.

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

Mar 222013
 

There are a lot of publicity seeking ‘minor’ celebrity chefs prancing around on TV and appearing in all sorts of places telling us what to eat, how to cook it and in some cases what not to eat.

Some of the Jamie Oliver type are so dedicated to generating cash that they tell us things like “do not to eat fast food” and appear on the news and chat shows explaining to us mere mortals that fast food is very bad for us and then several months later announce their plans to open Hot Dog restaurants. Oh sorry that wasn’t an example of a “Jamie Oliver” type’s action that was an example of Jamie Oliver’s latest hypocrisy!

One of the worst things about these publicity seeking ‘minor’ celebrity chefs is that they have run out of decent meals to show us how to cook on their TV shows and then again include the very same recipes in their follow up books based on the TV series and that means that old recipes have unusual or specialist ingredients added to them, food is ‘fused’ whatever the hell that means and so on.

With all of this in mind imagine my lack of surprise when I saw the Pizza restaurant advert below advertising yet another ‘specialist;’ ingredient to accompanying a dish that was created by the Romans who called theirs placenta and used a sheet of dough topped with cheese and honey and flavored with bay leaves. Of course with a dish as popular as Pizza there are any number of countries and people that claim to have invented it.

Pizza with a plus Bratislava

Just a thought, cheese, honey and bay leaves flavouring – ugh! Give me an old fashioned, wholesome Pizza any day and of course you can apply that statement to any of the rubbish that publicity seeking ‘minor’ celebrity chefs create can’t you!

Pizza

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 212013
 

Since the Taliban take over of most of the Sudan you have to say that the restaurants there have really become a lot more adventurous with Lamb!

Poor old mary Sudan

Poor Mary, but I think further comment isn’t necessary.

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 202013
 

You leave my bum out of this

I don’t know! Talk about ‘personalised adverts’ this poster is as bad as the ever awful and getting worse Google, a foul enterprise that hopes to snatch ever more personal information about you and I and our lives and they have only just got started.

Google’s latest wheeze ‘Google Glass’ is going to ensure that they know and store what you are looking at in sound and vision and then report that information back to their advertisers and of course let the government dip into their archive whenever they want to, surely they have to be stopped before they do too much harm! Imagine they will be with you in your most private moments from now on if you buy these dreadful glasses, I wear my glasses in the loo, do you?

Worse Google is going to get the idiots who are wearing their sophisticated surveillance equipment (that will not only spy on what they are doing but also spy on the people around them as well) to pay for the ‘privilege’ is that is the right word, I doubt it!

Personally I think all advertising should be restricted to stained glass windows, like adverts for the Czech company Tesla (see my previous blog The Tesla Advert) and the stuff they stick up in churches.

Tesla Window

The Cat’s rant is over!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s'?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 142013
 

Oh dear I have a feeling that this picture might annoy all sorts of people, but I didn’t think twice about publishing it for two reasons first it is divinely daft and second if anyone doesn’t like the sign they should have a chat with the idiots who put it up in Kuala Lumpur shouldn’t they?

Approved Parking Kuala Lumpur

Mind you I have recently learned that a ‘fatal’ might not be so bad because a fatwa is issued by a recognised religious authority in Islam. But since there is no hierarchical priesthood or anything of the sort in Islam, a fatwa is not necessarily “binding” on the faithful. The people who pronounce these rulings are supposed to be knowledgable, and base their rulings in knowledge and wisdom. They need to supply the evidence from Islamic sources for their opinions, and it is not uncommon for scholars to come to different conclusions regarding the same issue.

I adore confusion don’t you?



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Mar 122013
 

There are ordinary schools and then there is Meeker Junior High School, Renton, Tacoma Washington State – Home of The Pioneers whoever they are!

High scoring school

And then there are other schools who while not have sure a heady mission statement might actually concentrate on things like oh!… Um!… Spelling.

Meeker Junior High School Mission Statement

“Jerry Meeker Middle School’s mission is to provide an environment which will encourage respect for all, academic excellence and competency in the life skills through a partnership of home, school and community. A model program at Meeker is its Homework Cafe, an after school program allowing students and staff to work together to complete homework and develop good study habits.”

Maybe the other schools in the area concentrate more on the educational basics and leave Meeker Junior High School Mission Statement to strive for high educational goals? Or maybe not.

Either way if thou go to their website you can get 30% Hoodies and Zip-up Hoodies at the moment, it’s odd that I ahem always associated Hoodies, whether they zip up or not with petty criminals and shady types, I wonder if there is a link there?

Hoodie

Not a nice hoodie and shame about the colour!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Mar 112013
 

So there I was minding my own business in the back of my translator’s hire car as we pootled through what used to be known as the Federal Nastiness of East Germany when a police blue light started flashing behind us and we started to invent reasons why we had driven through so many traffic lights what were blank and appeared not to be working.

(For your information when I asked why all of the traffic lights were out the polizei said that the reason the traffic lights weren’t working was that after 7.00pm on a Sunday evening the whole town’s traffic lights get switched off! No I couldn’t believe it either.)

So my translator indicated to turn right and pulled into a rather grubby housing estate that was obviously built for the proles back in the old days – you can tell these prole villas easily the concrete looks as though it could blow away in the wind at any time.

He got out of the car into a sea of small mosquitoes which managed to not only bite the two polizei and himself constantly for the 30 minutes he was out of the car but in the instant he opened the door of the hire car had sneaked in and continued to bite us all at their leisure for the rest of our journey home.

When you get stopped by the police or indeed polizei it’s always a good idea to ask why they have stopped you because as we all know in most civilised countries they can’t just stop you because they don’t like the look of the occupants of the car or the colour of the paint work.

So as documents were exchanged and truths checked my translator asked that all important question, for the first time as it transpired, and the answer, which was soon to be ‘modified,’ was interesting.

First they said that they stopped the car because a lot cars of this model and type were stolen! I asked if that was the case whether the germans crossed the border into the Czech republic to steal Czech registered cars, because the hire car I was driving was a Czech one and so that seemed a reasonable question, it wasn’t sadly and neither was the answer, the answer was drivel and even more fiction than the first excuse. One of the policemen said “that it can happen” I asked how often and the polizei man didn’t seem to know!

Polizei Van

My translator is a nice person and instead of telling the german policemen that he was an idiot he asked if they had finished, but they hadn’t. After the disappointment of not capturing the leader of a german car stealing ring who preyed only on Czech cars they turned their attention to the contents of the car, and in this case I really mean passengers!

The translator’s wife is Korean and that was obviously something that cheered the other of the two valiant german policemen because after swatting a few more mosquitoes he asked for her passport and trundled off to the van to do more checking.

The translator asked them what they need his wife’s passport for and they said, if you can believe it, that there was a lot of human trafficking in this part of german and they had to be sure that if I wasn’t a very clever and successful car thief then I wasn’t in the business of selling wives at worst or just helping illegals cross international borders.

The translator’s first question was of course who on earth would want to smuggle anyone in the germany? Which didn’t go down well because even though the two young german policemen were fluent English speakers they were still german and of course displayed their entire nations trait for not having even the tiniest spark of a sense of humour.

After being bitten by mosquitoes and subjected to the fantasies of the two german policemen we were eventually allowed to resume our journey.

On the way back to the Czech republic there are a number of long straight, but narrow, roads where german drivers drive at reckless speeds. One such mindless kraut, in a big Mercedes, had discovered just how dangerous speed can be and had hit a very large deer and ended up blocking the entire road.

While the other german drivers organised traffic and put out dozens of cute little red triangles around the accident I thought that it was a shame that the bored policemen weren’t there to direct the traffic though of course you couldn’t fault the organisation of all present (except the driver of the Czech hire car who had had quite enough of germans for the day thank you), but I expect that they were busy looking for clever car thieves or human traffickers.

This didn’t happen in the village sign posted below but for some reason I think that the germans pass a lot of hot air and wind especially the police and it is probably radar controlled so it seemed appropriate to include the picture in this blog.

Something Germans do



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Mar 072013
 

They are adorable pets but they can get a little grubby, especially dogs who have no concept of personal hygiene in my opinion, but happily there is a answer to disheveled doggies and polluted parrots and it comes from the cradle of invention and sharp business practices Thailand!

It would do wouldn’t it.

Ladies and gentlemen dear cuddly readers one and all I give you the revolutionary Bangkok Pet Laundry!

Spruce up your pets today Bangkok

I wondered as this sign looks a little temporary what the Bangkok Pet Laundry was last week, judging by the bits of green that are peeping out at the top and the bottom I am going to take a wild guess and suggest that until recently the Bangkok Pet Laundry was a Parrot Purifying shop! Their sign and also the reason why they went out of business were obviously one and the same – they were both poorly conceived and executed.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Mar 062013
 

There is something to be said for small businesses but don’t you agree that they should have any restrictions put upon them!

Small in every way

No glass ceiling here sadly!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams