Tag Archives: Prague

Cat Got Your Tongue?

“Has the Cat got your tongue?” Is like all of those humans expressions about Cats it casts Cats in the role of villain and quite frankly not at all nice.

Why is it that Cats have such a bad reputation when it comes to old sayings or expressions? It is something I have puzzled about when sitting very comfortably and warmly on various human laps and knees recently as apparently the flood water in Central Europe gets deeper and Poland, Hungary and the Czech republic start to drown, but back to that later.

Honestly I have no idea why Cats have such a bad reputation and would be interested to hear from any reader why they think it is the case! Apart, of course, from the reader who asked me why I hadn’t written a blog for a few days and they, in turn, hadn’t had anything funny to read.

Well I replied to them that they really ought to read my book of course book which anyone can easily get here at Amazon.com as if you all need reminding tee hee, and I also let them into a bit of a secret and that is that everyone will soon be able to read my wonderful book on a Sony eReader because those nice people at Sony and this wonderful Cat are going to start ‘bundling’ my amazing ebook with their cute eReader so that you can all buy them as a set if you see what I mean – do contact me for details.

Still the note from my fan did make me think about the phrase “Has the Cat got your tongue?” though, and I thought that I would share those thoughts with you below.

1. What would a Cat do with your tongue or indeed anyone else’s tongue – make a tongue necklace? I hardly
think so!
2. Where would we keep all of the tongues we collect? We don’t have pockets you know, or if we do I have never found mine!
3. Old sayings are as mental as the people who use them.
3. Couldn’t really think of a third point.
3. I think I am a little confused with the numbering system here and anyway I am getting bored with this
list.
4. Dropped off for a while until I was woken up by someone standing up and me falling on my feet (of course).
5. Why do humans stand up unexpectedly when a warm Cat is comfortably asleep on their lap?
6. I may have lost my train of thought and veered off the subject I was thinking about!
7. What was the subject?
8. What am I doing here.
9. Does existentialism have any relevance to the modern feline.
10 My head hurts!

It is so unlikely that a Cat and this cat in particular would want to steal a human tongue that I had to commission an artist to show a Cat stealing a tongue.

Cat Stealing Tongue.png

Artist’s impression of Cat lulling human to sleep before stealing tongue.

One last thing before I go off to find a lap and have a well deserved sleep. The weather here has been pretty terrible recently ‘but’ and it is a very big but just as the idea that Cat’s collect tongues is a myth so is the ‘fact’ reported by the BBC News that the Czech republic, Poland and Hungary are flooded – they aren’t I promise you, so please stop if you were reaching for the inflatable life raft catalogue and wondering if they deliver to Prague. Prague and the surrounding countryside is as dry as a bone, or it was a couple of days ago when I flew over it on my way back from Moscow – the Russian bless them are buying my book now.

Not only that currently I am looking out over Prague from the largest film studios in Europe on a hill above Prague where I can see for miles or kilometres as they say here and I can’t see a drop of water that isn’t in the place it should be ie., the Vltava river which flows, usually in an orderly fashion, through Prague and then down to Slovakia where it is given a new name and eventually ends up in the sea somewhere.

Floods.png

Artist’s impression of BBC news imaginary flood water.

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A Day Off!

Today is a day off and the sun is shining so what you may ask am I doing blogging? Now that is a good question I’m outa here.

But first I thought I would share a little bit of sunshine with you in an arty sort of way obviously to hide the graffiti and the ground level pipe that was not installed by the original mediaeval builders I bet. And no I wouldn’t happen to know what it transports and wouldn’t want to guess either, let’s just say I am happy it doesn’t leak when I walk up to the top of the hill and look out over Prague.

Sunny Alleyway Inked outlines.jpg

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No Bodies In The Bin Today

Happily there weren’t any bodies in the bins today (see yesterday’s post for more gruesome details) just lots of sun shining out over Prague. Looking out of the window today you could actually see silvery traces of spider’s webs trailing down to the Spruce trees (the original Christmas trees).

Spruce trees are interesting because before hops was used to add flavour to beer they used to use the young shoots of the Spruce tree and it gives a very aromatic flavour apparently – there don’t say you don’t learn anything while reading this Cat’s blog, not that beer is of particular interest to this or other Cats I have to say which just goes to show hoe ‘giving’ I am just like Bono – the climate clown.

Speaking of Bono and climate clowns, I have to say sadly that when I looked out of the window today I did see a bluish grey haze which I imagine is pollution, not a good sign.

But in the defence of the cloud of pollution it was a sort of lyrical hazy blue pollution cloud and not the same as the one that sweats over London, is a sort of sulphurous yellow and is intent on giving children asthma and cutting up to nine years off the life span of the residents.

Did you see that the UK is going to be fined for the over pollution of their bit of planet, the problem is Bus and Taxi exhaust – well they got rid of the cars in London.

Don’t you agree that it is a shame that no one fines India and China as well because they can teach the world a thing or two about pollution, if nothing else.

Ganges pollution.jpg

Above is a picture of the pollution (on a good day – there are no floating dead cows/humans) at India’s most sacred river, the Ganges, goodness knows what the not so sacred rivers look like or are full of!

Well this didn’t turn out to be a very funny blog which is a shame I like to make my readers smile a little even if they don’t laugh out loud, which by the way is never a good thing to do in public especially if you are alone because people around you will think that you are a little mad.

Tomorrow I plan to add a blog that will make you laugh and so I will not look out of the window before I write it I promise and hopefully then I won’t be tempted to get on to the subject of pollution.

So tomorrow I think we should talk about fish, yes what fun, we haven’t talked about fish for a long time have we?

By the way does anyone know what U2’s ‘Bono the Climate Clown’s’ real name is? I bet it is Jeff but spelt Geoff don’t you? Do let me know if you know what his real name is and indeed if you like U2, not that I care of course I just like to hear from my readers.

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Summer Is Coming You Can Tell

Wheelie Bin.jpg

Hello all you lucky readers the sun is shining and you have another blog from me, what more could you want? Well my book well of course if you haven’t got it.

Today the sun is shining very brightly and the thermometer on the outside of the Kitchen window is showing 25 degree C, yes we know it does have a problem with the truth, and so it is probably 15 degrees cooler but still that is warm in comparison to what temperatures we have had here recently – and is about 60 degrees in the more sensible Fahrenheit way of understanding temperature I believe.

So no matter whether the thermometer (a nice English word without a French spelling) is lying or not, the day is nice and demonstrates that Spring if not Summer is coming to Prague and the Czech Republic.

Another sign that the weather was getting much milder today came in a very surprising form, when we went to put the trash out there was what looked like a dead human in one of the Wheelie Bins.

This sort of thing is not common in Prague and of course it is one of the reasons we moved out of smelly London, the last time I lived there my street was machine gunned as two drug dealers chased each other in cars up it and shot the buildings up into the bargain until one took a lump of lead and crashed his car outside of my building – very grand Theft Auto I must say, but not nice to live amongst.

Now because finding a dead body in your Wheelie Bin is not an everyday occurrence in sunny Prague you can imagine our surprise when we opened the lid of the bin to deposit our rubbish.

Obviously we chose another bin to dump the trash bag in and then stood there debating what to do about the – you know what, in the – you know where!

Deciding that it would be a good idea to call the police we went back inside and so as we looked out of the window for signs of life we started to dial the number and at the same time trying to work out the translation in to Czech of “I don’t know if you have already been told, or if you might consider it important but…”

Just as the number rang the Wheelie Bin lid opened and a man dressed like one of the very many people here who sort through Wheelie Bins to fill dirty carrier bags full of um, er, whatever they are looking for I suppose pull himself out and stretched wearily in the Sun.

He spent a few minutes getting the creases out of his jacket and arranging his woollie hat just so, then he reached in to the Wheelie Bin, grabbed a bottle of water (Volvic appears to be the water of choice if you are going to stay overnight in my Wheelie Bin) and then he sauntered off carrying a collection of dirty carrier bags.

“Huh!”

That is about all this clever Cat can say, although I have to say that I do feel for the ever increasing numbers of people who troll around Prague searching through Wheelie and non-Wheelie Bins, but in the main they are not victims of the recent banker’s balls-ups these people make a life choice and are it would seem very happy to graze bins for a living.

For what it is worth the only ones who ever ask you for money in the street are the punk like young ones who call themselves ‘Freegans” they are a curse of downtown Prague, in the summer especially, the others keep themselves to themselves and I suppose that a Wheelie Bin is better than a doorway and it probably makes a nice change on a warmish Springlike evening!

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A Sign of Mmh What?

Ok so today is the second sunny day and we are about four or five days into snow free weather, which will probably give you some idea about the temperature, with or without the sunshine it is cold.

But after two days of (not consecutive) sunshine the good people of Prague have decided that it is short and shirt sleeve wearing weather and are out and about in their hundreds – Prague is a small place and as yet the population hasn’t doubled in size with tourists – proudly showing their knees.

Are the Czechs mad? Well no not really they are healthy and think that their knees should be on display as often as possible, thank goodness they only think that their knees should be on display as often as possible, if you see what I mean!

But honestly having so many knees on display is a little off putting for a Cat; human knees, like all knees, are not nice, no wonder Cats hide theirs under fur, but then Cats are nice discrete animals aren’t they!

Shorts in Prague.jpg

And it is for that reason, modesty in the knee department that Cats are not like Pavels (the name I have given all Czech males – Pavelinas are the female equivalent), we would be mortified if we had our knees on display even on the hottest day.

Why? Do I hear you ask, well it is simple really, shorts are just about alright on young people, but when a middle aged man wears them to work and carries a briefcase and has a tie on you start to wonder don’t you? I do!

Still there are lots of reasons why Prague is a nice place to live, the steam coming off the river this morning made the place look magical especially if you happened to be standing on the famous medieval Charles Bridge and looking up at Prague Castle, in fact I wish I had been!

Prague-Castle.png

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Snow Here Too – But Cruel Snow

Much as I don’t want to wobble on about snow because I know that most of Europe has the stuff and the skies across the world are filling up with the more so that it can be dumped on us all over night. But I did want to just quickly mention the snow here and that is because it is cruel snow!

Why is it ‘cruel snow’ I hear you ask? Well take a look at this photograph of some poor pensioners who were caught in the snow this morning while waiting for a bus into Prague, poor things they were going on a grumbling and barging tour of the shops.

Happily by the time I went out to take the (probably award winning) picture the sun had come out and the sky was blue, it was chilly though and I got cold paws.

Honestly I don’t know what they are going to do with the poor frozen pensioners but I have noticed some really rubbish ‘installation art’ here and there in Prague and so they could use the frozen pensioners as that? It’s just an idea of course. Not much of a way to spend Christmas though is it!

Snow-Queue.png

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