Jun 032014
 

Now I like Prawns and Prawns Mee sounds right up my street as everyone knows if they have read my book.

And when ‘encouraged’ (usually that means forced) I will eat Macoroni (or as we say in the west Macaroni) and even Rice, but I would have to have the “Pigs Parts” described in minute detail before I would touch the Pigs Parts Soup, let alone drink it, wouldn’t you dear cuddly and discerning reader?

Which Parts



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 262014
 

Piccadilly Circus London

According to the ever reliable (hope you sense the irony here) Wikipedia there are over 300 languages spoken in London see for yourself here London if you don’t believe it and neither did I.

Sadly not many of the 300 different language speakers in London seem to speak English anymore and too many speak nonsense.

No you read the sign correctly on this London bus

No you read the sign correctly on this London bus! And my point is proved I believe!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 252014
 

Words fail me! It goes without saying I had to have a close look at the illustration, for um… ‘research purposes.’ I didn’t want to! And yes it has left me scarred.

Words fail me look at the illustration tee hee

Now I ask you, who what type of person would fart on a baby? Well according to the illustration one that is invisible or in disguise obviously but still…



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Mar 242014
 

They say there are many reasons to visit Galway, although I have to say that none spring to mind. However I am pretty certain that this rather adult boat trip is not one of them!

Local attractions in Galway

I wonder if you can feed them?



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

”Trams

Mar 212014
 

Books you can eat

Now I can recommend this book to you without reservation. When I read it I found it soft, aromatic, fishy and very chewy, delicious. Best of all you can get 3 for the price of 2, though how the hell you can mix and match a treasure of the English language like this I have no idea!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Jan 232013
 

Pushed with embaressment

What? Now that brings a whole new meaning to the word ‘pushed’ doesn’t it?

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Jan 222013
 

Yes ladies and gentlemen and cuddly readers everywhere my translator’s book ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ has finally arrived at the Apple iBook Store enabling you to read this illustrated gem on your iPad, Phone or Pod and although I could never be considered to be bias, I have always thought that John Woodcock was always ‘lacking’ when he wasn’t ‘challenged’ if you get my drift, I have to say that this book looks amazing on these clever devices from Apple.

There aren’t many illustrated books in the Apple iBook Store that can match the quality and luxurious look that the ‘Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ has. But don’t take my word for it have a look for your good self here. Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams or just John Woodcock.

If you click on the link (above) this is the page that you’ll be directed to in the iBook store to see our Mr. Woodcock’s wonderful work or of course just go to the iBook Store and type in ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’.

Trams of Prague on iBooks

Obviously it would be really nice to buy ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ for your iPad, Pod or Phone at the same time that you buy John’s book if you haven’t already got it.

There is something at the back of my head that is making my whiskers itch, a lost thought to thread that I can’t quite remember, oh yes hang on I think I remember. It’s the little iPad Mini of course! How could I forget it? The ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ looks exceptional on that too! There I can curl up and go to sleep now.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Jan 212013
 

It’s minus three outside and I am writing to you from the heart of our snow bunker. We have enough tinned tuna and frozen prawns to last for just another four days and then I am afraid we might have to look at each other in a different light and start to really worry about anyone who offers an ‘invitation to dinner!’

Still there’s one consolation and that’s that the whole of Europe is tucked up shivering, under the same white blanket of course some countries are old hands at deal with the pesky white stuff and then there is the UK.

To be honest I love this time of year if I am watching the scene from a second floor window, because where I live in Europe at the first sign of snow thousands of people in brightly coloured warm clothing dash about the streets clearing snow, while their colleagues hop into extremely large snow plows for the roads and much smaller ones for the pavements and race around with orange lights flashing on top of their cabs clearing the snow from almost everywhere it is so colourful and so relaxing to watch others work.

Of course being English I had never seen this sort of activity before and as far as I can tell from the reports the the English newspapers it still doesn’t happen even today in modern Britain as they call it these days, for reasons best known to themselves. Instead you get wild stories in the English press of “Tens of thousands stranded as heavy snow and ice set to continue until Thursday” (it’s currently Monday), rolled up with flight cancellations at Heathrow airport one of the busiest airports in the world that can’t cope with a few flakes of snow.

Really what is it with the English and snow? As you can see from the picture below taken yesterday they haven’t had ‘that’ much snow and the country is “doomed” well according to the press.

Snow in England

Compare this to a typical and I have to say not very remarkable picture of a snowy street taken the other day in Prague and you have to wonder what the English are so concerned about and why so many of them are sliding off the roads in their cars.

Snow Prague

I do have one suggestion about the sliding off the road, from 1st November to 31st March each year winter tyres are as the Ministry of Interior of the Czech Republic (and most other European nations)here declares “obligatory.” The law actually states that “The obligation applies also when the drivers can expect .” And I suppose as thee ordinary driver in the street has about as much of a clue as to when to ‘expect bad weather conditions’ everyone here fits Winter tyres in the run up to 1st November, if you don’t and you forget then you get fined, but the fine is no where near the cost of having a tow truck come and rescue your stranded car and then to have it fixed, but isn’t that sensible?

I think it is and obviously not something that the English would do but then it would seem that they don’t like being in Europe and are trying to wriggle out silly sods.

Speaking of snow have you heard that my translator John Woodcock’s book Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams is now available on Apple’s ibook store? No well that is something i can change right now, this really brilliantly illustrated book is available now, here: Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams it is well worth a gawp.

I promise to post a blog later that shows some of the illustrations from this excellent book which was created for all ages.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Nov 152012
 

English newspapers believe that sport helps to sell newspapers and it probably does, but sadly they seem to think that there is only one sport – football and tend concentrate on it to the exclusion of all other sport.

As this picture from today’s Independent online (a national newspaper in the UK) proves click here and have a gasp for yourself.www.independent.co.uk

Too much football in England

It is a shame that there isn’t much coverage given to other sports in England which are just as popular and far more exciting, like oh! Say Motor Racing and if they have to publish so much rubbish about football and indeed footballers may be the newspapers could use the right column headlines? Just a thought!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

And now to pay the rent – sorry about this but if you click one of these little pictures someone sends me cash and that means I can keep my blogs going, seems like a good deal to me!














Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Oct 032012
 

Facebook

Hello to all my dear cuddly readers, yes you are right the picture does look familiar! Not only are you well acquainted with the marvellous pictures of yours truly but you might know the struggling website I am gracing them with.

Yes that’s right I have decided to help poor little Marky Zuckerberg and add my support to his, oh what do they call those awful things, oh yes “social network.”

I prefer to think of them as captive advertising sites where you have no choice but to ‘like’ Nike, personally I can’t think of anything much worse than doing that, well oh ‘liking’ Mitt Romney just might be pushing the boundaries of taste!

facebook no I said facebook – sorry Apple currently likes facebook and so although the silly sods there called their site, err sorry social network facebook Apple keeps autocorrecting the word, unlike I have to add – google, android, samsung (even though they gave Apple shed loads of cash recently, or indeed microsoft, Apple’s spell checker just thinks that microsoft is just a misspelt word and underlines it in red, mind you I think I detect a thaw in the relationship there, type in Microsoft with an uppercase ‘M’ and Apple with leave you to your own devices and say nothing.

All of which means I have moved away from the point, ho hum, which is! I am ‘on’ facebook and apart from gathering nice cuddly friends it is something of a let down. I didn’t expect dancing girls and fireworks when I joined of course, but after filling in all of the information like religion – “catolick” though I can’t understand why I can’t use a capital C when typing the name of my religion on facebook I am sure that Zuckerberg Inc allow Jews and Muslims to capitalise the names of their religions.

Maybe us catolicks just aren’t radical enough and I should ‘suggest,’ no that isn’t a radical enough word, maybe I should ‘demand’ that us catolicks get the same rights as all of the other religions of the world, or we’ll, mmmh need a big threat quick, oh yes or we’ll eat all the Prawns in the world.

And don’t even get me started on my political views or my language skills, why can’t I enter ‘Cat’ I speak it? Since when has Democat not been a political party? I am a fully paid up member so why can’t I proudly announce to the world that I am one, why does Facebook (oh autocorrector you beat me) not let me enter my deeply held political beliefs?

Still I did manage to put up some nice pictures of my pals, Burt the Black & White Cat is there, Randolph the Mountaineering Cat is there (well his last known picture is) and loads of other wonderful friends all I need now is your pictures on my page so that we can start doing what you do on a social network and that is to sell you things by the bucketful!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,