Tag Archives: Prawns

Barbecue time approaches

Summer is coming, well after Spring of course but it will be here soon enough and frankly I can’t wait for a bit of warmth and some serious eating Al Fresco.

The other day I saw a picture which I thought I would share with all of my wonderful cuddly readers, it’s of Barbecue Tiger Prawns coated in a Soy sauce and then when you have finished Barbecuing the giant tasty treats you dip them in a mixture of Soy sauce and sieved Tamarind Pulp that mixture is called ‘Lampung sauce.’

Prawn BBQ

Of course TV chefs and food writers in magazines all believe that us ordinary common folk (well you ordinary common folk) can just reach up to the top shelf of our kitchen cupboards (or jump if you’re me) and whip out enough Tamarinds to turn into 4 tablespoonfuls, sadly they live in a dream world where they are not only famous but useful!

I think that the best way to eat Barbecued Tiger Prawns or indeed any type of Prawn is with the least amount of ‘cooking’ and quickly, in terms of quantities the fool who wrote the article where I saw the picture above thought that 12 Tiger Prawns between 4 people was sufficient – really?

This Cat believes 12 Tiger Prawns each might act as a small starter if the meal then moves on to Scampi, Potted Shrimp, and Prawns Sandwiches without the bread, Lettuce, Tomatoes etc! I suppose these sandwiches could be called PLT’s in the new world across the sea where the simple Bacon sandwich have been thus elevated.

So a PLT for me please and hold the Bread, Lettuce and Tomatoes thank you ever so much!

Um it hasn’t arrived yet!

Prawn Sandwich


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Today’s blog is tinged with sadness

I am afraid that today’s blog is desperately sad! You see I was set to have a bit of a break, a well deserved and earned rest, you know kick back and enjoy the Springlike sunshine that has been gracing us lately. But as you can see from the picture below it is snowing here and that means that I will get covered in the stuff when I go out to look at the garden and the Snowdrops, mind you Snowdrops in the snow are pretty cool aren’t they.

Foot prints in the snow

If you haven’t seen Snowdrops in the snow then you are in for a treat below.

Snowdrops in the snow

Sigh! All the snow means that I will have to go back inside and eat Prawns all day and that in turn means that I will need dozens if not millions of good people to buy my books Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary and The Cat’s Travelogue so that I can afford even more Prawns it is a “vicious circle of life” to misquote the Lion King!














As you can see (above) happily I have had help making the little picture boxes look nicer – I hope. If they are, then it is a relief all round, do click them if you like, of course if you buy something after clicking them then www.amazon.com pay me a paltry sum in return and if you click the boxes with my books on then I get a bigger sum; hint hint! And ‘sum’ add up don’t they!

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Happy Valentine’s Day from The Cat

I think that this card says it all!

The Cat s Valentine s Day Greeting Card Vector

But then just because something says it all that should stop someone, in the case me, saying something should it? So I need to say to all of my wonderfully cuddly readers HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY. Thank you so much of all of the gifts, cards, cash and Prawns (one tip there for the future could you ensure that the Prawns stay frozen on the journey here?).

My wonderful cuddly readers are so special to me as you all know and if I could I would rub noses with all of you, thank you so much for buying ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ I wouldn’t sold any without you all.

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I Like Shellfish But Not This Shellfish

I remember writing a little song in my first masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ called ‘There is nothing like a Prawn’ to the musical theme first used in movie musical ‘South Pacific’ because I love Prawns. Prawns are wonderful even when they are eaten the Brazilian way with their little jackets on and tend towards ‘crunch’ if you see what I mean!

Although Prawns are my favourite shellfish I have also enjoyed the fleeting company of Lobsters, Crab, Langoustines, Shrimp (the tiny English ones) and of course Mussels, but I refused to eat what was on this menu in Hanoi, Vietnam and I ask you can you blame me?

Even when crap meat is rolled twice in Salmon skin and friend it hardly sounds like a delicacy does it? In fact the idea of it put me right off my Roasted Salmon Head and I walked out of the establishment that bravely called itself a restaurant feeling hungry and let down.

More Crap Meat From Vietnam


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Save Tigers And Do It Now

While having my breakfast of tasty Prawns with a side of Prawns and a bag of Prawns to go sitting next to me on the diner table I was reading the newspaper.

I rarely read newspapers because I believe that if you want to ruin your day read a newspaper at breakfast and if you want to ruin your life become famous, like me, and have News International eavesdrop on your every phone call, read your mail, hack your computer and sift your trash while trying to gather dirt on you. So far that have failed thanks to my satellite phone a little tip I learned from someone I was talking to in the CIA several years ago.

I have to say here that when I was talking to this lady from the CIA I thought that ‘CIA’ was an abbreviation for China International Airways and to be honest I didn’t discover what the letters really CIA stood for until I climbed aboard what I thought was a small China International Airways jet at an airport in Pakistan while researching my latest unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (available here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition and if you want an ebook here The Cat’s Travelogue ebook boy was I in for a surprise I can tell you, and if you read my latest work of feline literary genius you will know exactly what I am talking about here!

Anyway, so there I was reading the newspaper and getting ever more depressed, when I think I have reached rock bottom after reading three articles about four politicians in three totally different countries who were all displaying their own special type of ineptitude that singles them out for a career in politics when my eye caught this headline:-

“Is it time to give up on Tigers and Pandas? – Controversial plans to save one species at expense of another are gathering pace”

The it went on to say:-

“A majority of professional conservationists believe it is time to consider shifting efforts away from some of the world’s most famous species, such as the Panda, to concentrate on others which have a greater chance of success.”

Panda

So is that what humans have come to? They have hunted animals to extinction destroyed their habitat to grow beef for McDonalds then a few decades ago seen the light and started to conserve species instead of running rough shod over them and now they have decided, because trying to protect animals is too much like hard work, to choose one species over another because they can’t cope with their own destructiveness which so drastically affects all of the other animals and creepy crawlies who share the planet Earth.

Well all I have to say is shame on you humans for taking so much of the Earth’s resources and leaving so little for wildlife, shame on you conversationalists and in particular shame on the charity the World Wildlife Fund for taking so much money and pretending to give a damn about animals and obviously failing so miserably.

I would also like to say that if there has to be a choice between Pandas and Tigers we should save Tigers they are not only better looking, they are also more interesting, more active, distant cousins of mine and better still if their numbers were to grow significantly they might just start getting their own back and start eating humans!

2 Siberian Tigers

At least there is one positive to come out of this article and that’s that you can stop giving your hard earned folding stuff to the WWF!

As I have said time and again all charities are absolutely useless and this article proves that, if you ever doubted my word, instead you can of course send all of your spare cash to this Cat and make his life amazingly comfortable, unlike a charity I will spend you money wisely and choose only the finest Prawns, the best cars, hotels and employ only the most qualified staff to attend to my every need, which are many and various.

I do hope that people start to see how dreadful charities are now in the light of what these conversationalists are proposing. I was telling people 15 years ago just how greedy and corrupt banks were and now they are seeing it, let’s hope it doesn’t take the same length of time for the public to see just how much alike charities and banks are, they only care about themselves and nothing else even the things they are set up to protect, help, nurture or whatever else they waffle on about as they hold their hands out for you cash.

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Jo Woodcock Paints Underwater

As you know I am a great lover of Prawns and indeed probably one of the world’s greatest experts on eating the tasty little devils but none of this helps me when I have to deal with my translator John Woodcock even though I have heard a lot of people call him a Prawn, mainly behind his back I have to say because he can be an ugly brute!

Oddly enough my translator John Woodcock has a wonderful and very good looking and talented daughter who is an actress and almost as famous as me Jo Woodcock is also very kind and sent me this picture of herself which she produced when tinkering with Photoshop. I have a feeling that she would rather like to play Disney’s The Little Mermaid.

As my cuddly readers are all so nice and often not only comment on just how wonderful my book “Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” is but have also have indeed demonstrated how much they like it by buying thousands of them I thought I would share the picture with them so here it is!

Jo in a Reef

There’s only one thing wrong with this picture to my way of thinking and that is the total, utter and complete lack of Prawns and that is a shame, Prawns are nice crunchy little fellows who have the ability to brighten even the dreariest day.

Still there are three Clown Fish in it and they seem rather nice, personally I haven’t had the opportunity to eat Clown Fish so if any of my readers have beaten me to it and tucked in to Clown Fish do please let me know what they’re like.

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Is That The Best They Can Do?

I am always grateful to people who are crazy about Cats, they are fun to talk to, nice to be around and yes of course they buy my book by the thousand which is wonderful and of course available here Amazon.com if you aren’t one of those lucky enough to have it yet..

So bearing that in mind I have been recently looking at things that people can buy for people who like Cats. The choice (apart from my wonderful book of course) is pretty dire and below is a perfect example. The colours, the style are just appalling and the message is a little odd.

If anyone makes excellent Cat related products and gifts and would like to sell them from my store at my amazingly popular www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com I will gladly give them the space – well for a consideration of course – you have to buy prawns with something I discovered sadly when I popped into my local fishmonger with two mice and a song bird and wanted to do a trade.

Crazy Cat Mug

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Killer Bees!

“The Warm Prompt…in order to avoid has the danger Thanaks your coordination”

The above nonsense comes from Taiwan which is odd, no not Taiwan, but the fact that I was talking about them yesterday and praising the people who come from Taiwan, (oh what do you call them – ah yes Chinese tee hee) and look what they go and do to a simple KEEP OUT sign!

The Warm prompt.jpg

You know I couldn’t have put that better myself, dangerous Honey Bees are a danger that has to be avoided, sadly though it is the other way around, mankind is killing the Honey Bees with pollution and you better stop soon because even though Einstein was wrong when he said that “If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live. No more bees, no more pollination … no more men!” he was almost right.

Mr Mad hair.jpg

Oh the reason why Mr Mad Hair was wrong was that most cereal crops such as Rice, Wheat and Corn that humans live on are actually pollinated by the wind and not Bees the planet would be an even worse place than it is now without Bees, no Honey, Fruits and so much more, though happily still Prawns.

I worry about a time when the fighting between humans breaks out about food who will fish for Prawns, I don’t think I can go without Prawns!

Anyway I have been wondering “A warm prompt” – what is one of those? You understand I don’t want one I just want to know if that is ok and while we are on the subject what other nonsense did Albert talk well here is a prime piece of rubbish straight from the scientists mouth try this flash of brilliance. “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour,” which proves we aren’t all perfect are we?

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Bandit The Cat Saves Family From Fire

Bandit Saves Family From Fire.jpg

While Bandit’s family slept the brave 15 year old Cat from Lincolnshire in the UK, braved flames to raise the alarm that the kitchen was on fire and possibly saved his family’s lives.

Bandit braved the flames to raised the alarm by scratching his human’s face, Marie his human who then woke up her partner David and his two daughters and then with with Bandit, four other Cats, four kittens and two dogs as well as hamsters, gerbils and rabbits managed to get to safety outside as the blaze raged.

The Fire Brigade were called and promptly and efficiently as usual bravely brought the blaze under control.

Later when they learned of Bandit’s bravery they said “If the Cat hadn’t woke you up, the occupants of the house would have died from toxic fumes and smoke.”

Happily that is not the case and thanks to Bandit all of the 20 occupants of the house escaped unharmed.

As you can see from the picture Bandit is a shy cat who really doesn’t like having his picture taken and frankly was wondering what all the fuss was about, all he wanted to do was to get down on the floor and check for Prawns – the usual reward for clever Cat’s.

Animal lover Marie proudly said that “Bandit is a very intelligent Cat although I didn’t expect him to do something like that, which I am amazed by. He can actually talk. He can say things like ‘hello’ but people don’t believe me he can talk.”

Shy bandit.jpg

Sadly the family didn’t have insurance and will have problems renovating the rented property they live in and replacing the ruined appliances in the kitchen which was badly damaged by the fire.

Happily for them and for Bandit after the brave men and women of the Lincolnshire Fire and Rescue put out the fire and they then installed smoke detectors which means that Bandit will have some help if something happens like this again.


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

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I Was Going To Have A Day Off!

Christmas Wreath.png

As the title says I was going to have a day off today – but the Czech rubbish men’s rubbish collection on Christmas Day both impressed me and shamed me into stirring into a some sort of action today – yes it took me a whole day to even consider working on what should be my day off – am I lazy or just a feline committed to the ‘old ways,’ I prefer to think that the latter is the case if it is all the same to you!

But you have to be impressed with the dedication of those orange boiler suit clad warriors fighting against full rubbish bins making their third collection of rubbish in a week, they are amazing – where else would that sort of dedication occur? Not in any of the ‘civilised’ countries I know of like err England, France or even the good old US of A.

So unfortunately I couldn’t sit here – well lie here – next to a radiator waiting for a warm human lap to appear and then lazily plonk myself on it and beg for Prawns could I?

By the way there were Prawns aplenty yesterday you could say that the place was “awash” with Prawns. I have to announce proudly that I had more than my fair share and managed to keep them down, although I did have dreams about the sea last night! I wonder if there’s any connection?

Anyway that is enough deviating from the point that I know I haven’t made yet. The point I want to point out is this latest outrage from those spoilt spongers who call themselves the “Royal Family of Great Britain and Ireland” or whatever today’s title is.

Just look at the person who calls herself “queen” in this snap taken in Norfolk land of the yokel and windmill! The dreadful old wrinkly is wearing a Cat as a hat – that is awful – some poor animal suffered there it would seem and worse the equally dreadful camellia ‘queen of pies’ seems to have got wind of the fact that the oldest royal wrinkly was going to wear large parts of an animal on her head and has joined in the ‘fun’ wearing what looks like ‘Bambi’ above her very prominent facial lines on her face that could only be described as a face that a plastic surgeon dreams of renovating.

Cat in a Hat.jpg

There is worse to come as well – not that the snaps of these women of a certain age are not awful enough on their own – take a look at the older woman’s handbag in the picture below. The logo in particular – does CC stand for ‘culled Cat’ are the royals – known for their mass murder of all animals in the name of hunting now turning to persecuting only Cats? Has my campaign against these over privileged spoilt brats who have no idea about the real world got them rattled? It looks like it doesn’t it!

CC logo - Culled Cat.jpg

A WORD FROM DAVE THE CAT

“It’s going to be more than one word I can tell you.” Pause for long explanation. “Oh sorry I didn’t know that the title of my bit was just an English phrase – my English isn’t as good as yours and I still don’t know why I can’t write this in ‘Cat?’

“Anyway all I wanted to say was that that pair of wizened old ladies should be told that hats are for Cats and should not be made of them – that sounds like a really bad idea and what may I ask happens to the poor Cat whose fur you decided to use as a hat?”

“Furthermore!”

(Cat’s note; sorry about this but when Dave the Cat starts to talk he is difficult to shut up).

“I would imagine that Cat’s make really poor hats because they do tend to wriggle in their sleep and could easily slip off some old queen’s head, fall to the floor and if they were fast asleep get left behind, and I know that some Cats like me for instance are very sound sleepers and if, goodness forbid, some old queen wanted to use me as headgear I would probably slip off and get left behind.”

“Personally I think that the oldies in this picture are really unkind and callous…” “What do you mean I have to stop there – I have loads more to say…”

Dave the Cat.png

Editors note

Sorry Dave the Cat would have rambled on for hours if I hadn’t accidentally unplugged his laptop, it’s actually the first time he has ever used it, well apart from turning it on and either sleeping on top of it as it heats up to a level of spontaneous combustion or lying down wind of the hot air being extracted from inside with his nose pressed up against the fan grill and a really weird and not very nice look of satisfaction on his face that may contain at its root a smile of contentment.

Dear cuddly readers Dave the Cat wanted you all to know that the hat colour is “protest red” and I thought that I should pass that on because I was convinced it was a sort of ‘santa’s little helper red’ as it is Christmas, but he got very angry when I told him, I think he is worried about becoming a hat against his will – like the rest of us decent law abiding Cats.

Xmas Holly.png