May 052014
 

Now that’s a religion I can see growing fast and spreading from Spain across the world. Can’t you? I think I will drop in for a service the next time I am in Barcelona. Care to join me?

Modern Spanish religions are fun


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Aug 142012
 

They say that church is a place for all and this church in New Zealand proves the rule even though the “fishy smell” must offer worshippers something of a challenge.

All welcome New Zealand

Obviously there is no room in heaven for the anti-social including Possums and quite rightly too!

So all this Cat can say is that he hopes that the Penguins grow up to be model citizens and the Possums mend their ways.

For those of you who are curious to know what the word “Whanau” means and are too lazy to look it up, or tired of getting adverts instead of results from your Google search, here is what I discovered, though I haven’t managed to find a New Zealander to check the translation with – just like trams there is never one around when you need one is there?

Whānau is a Māori language word for extended family. The letter ‘ā’ is obviously difficult to find even on an ecclesiastical word processor! Apparently a number of Māori words like Whānau are now becoming popular in New Zealand and entering the language unlike words from languages like… oh say Welsh!

I have a feeling that Whānau is not a word that is going to catch on globally like say a lot of black American words such as ‘hood’ (neighbourhood), ‘grill’ (some sort of mysterious device that sits on clenched teeth made from bling), ‘gangsta’ (armed children on street corners who emulate their elders) ‘bitch’ (a ‘hopefully’ beloved wife/girlfriend) and so on and so forth.

It does seem a shame that some words cross into the mainstream vocabulary and some don’t!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 072011
 

So here’s proof that some religions actually do have a sense of humour. Trust it to be the Buddhists who I understand are pretty calm and collected, for religious nuts.

At Last A Religion With A Sense of Humour Or Is That Irony

I’ve heard that Buddhists don’t preach elitism, fire and damnation or any of the usual religious stuff and that’s nice. Although isn’t Buddhism the religion that believes that if you are a bad human you will come back as a lesser being or animal? Which suggests to me that Buddhists may think that a bad human might be reincarnated as a Cat! Really, that isn’t very nice is it?

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”


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Apr 072011
 

This nice little sign was above the front seat of a train I was travelling on in Thailand while researching my latest blockbuster of a book, which is due out soon, in fact I’ll be able to tell you when as soon as my agent and publisher sober up, they’ve been celebrating ever since they read it – apparently I am going to be as big as J. K. Rowling but they didn’t specify which bit of J. K. Rowling I was going to be as big as if you see what I mean!

Save Monks Legs

I think it is quite nice that you can save a Monk’s legs don’t you? Although I thought that Monks were supposed to be able to endure long periods of discomfort like err… standing and stuff, but I suppose I have watched too many Shaolin type movies, or maybe the Monks in Thailand are just not very strong.

There was one other thing that struck me about the sign – how many Monks are you supposed to offer the seat to? I asked around and no one seemed to know, but then as I was speaking English and they were speaking Thai which believe it or not doubles as a cuisine I don’t think they understood me.

You know Thai must be a very complicated language if you can use it as a cuisine too – just a thought!

Actually I have to say that the record of my trip through Thailand and indeed one or two other countries won’t be recorded in my forthcoming and soon to be blockbusting Travelogue because the ‘authorities’ there read the chapter devoted to Thailand and very graciously supplied an awful lot of cash to ‘persuade’ me to not include the chapter in my Travelogue.

Of course this clever cat isn’t dumb and Thailand together with the other countries are obligated to keep up the exorbitant (their choice of words not mine) monthly charges or I will publish a second and more complete edition of this explosive (in every way) book.

Its not really a Travelogue Too Far but it is “wicked” as my agent who seems to act as though she is 12 most of the time said.

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Oct 122010
 

What are you humans like?

No I won’t say animals because as far as I know you don’t see any animals ever dumping innocent Cats in ‘wheelie bins’ or unbelievably dyeing each other pink. You can’t even say that humankind is sub-animal because I am pretty confident that even if they had hands and access to pink dye, Slugs wouldn’t be caught dyeing each other pink either!

So why the rant? Well just look below at this latest ‘inhuman’ act, someone dyed a poor innocent Cat pink and dumped it in an unsuspecting neighbours garden in the UK – again.

What is it with you humans and innocent Cats, I hope that soon you go back to picking on each other on the grounds of religion, caste, colour, creed, size of nose, where you live and on and on and on.

Pink Cat.jpg

 

Gosh I am glad I am not human, in fact I am sure that being a pink Cat would be better than being human, at least I could wash the pink off!

Oct 042010
 

What are you humans like?

No I won’t say animals because as far as I know you don’t see any animals ever dumping innocent Cats in ‘wheelie bins’ or unbelievably dyeing each other pink. You can’t even say that humankind is sub-animal because I am pretty confident that even if they had hands and access to pink dye, Slugs wouldn’t be caught dyeing each other pink either!

So why the rant? Well just look below at this latest ‘inhuman’ act, someone dyed a poor innocent Cat pink and dumped it in an unsuspecting neighbours garden in the UK – again.

What is it with you humans and innocent Cats, I hope that soon you go back to picking on each other on the grounds of religion, caste, colour, creed, size of nose, where you live and on and on and on.

Gosh I am glad I am not human, in fact I am sure that being a pink Cat would be better than being human, at least I could wash the pink off!