Jul 182012
 

I have no real reason to publish this picture apart from the fact that I thought it was rather bizarre and I like the bizarre!

Polar Bear Arrest

There that should be an end to this blog. But I thought maybe I could add a few observations. Since when have the British police been allowed to display their tattoos? And what is the female officer doing in the foreground? Checking her mail on a mobile phone I would say wouldn’t you!

You know I can imagine that it would take a lot more than six police officers to tackle a real Polar Bear but this poor fancy dress Polar Bear seems rather defeated, poor thing and six police officers with or without rubber gloves is several too many don’t you think?

Lastly why is the tubby police officer wearing rubber gloves, does she suspect that the Polar Bear has fleas?

As usual British justice and those who enforce it are all very confusing!

I bet you are wondering why the British were arresting a Polar Bear in the first place aren’t you? Well the answer is that the Polar Bear was part of a protest by a well know ‘green’ organisation who appear all too often on high streets around Europe chugging to mention their name or their cause.

For those of you who don’t know what ‘chugging’ means here is my definition. Chugging or “Charity Mugging” is the practice of collecting for ‘charities’ and other do gooding bodies that involves stopping unsuspecting shoppers in major thoroughfares to sign them up to a monthly subscription to some ’cause’ or the other.

The subscriptions solicited usually go towards paying for large modern offices and all expenses paid trips abroad for some staff to ‘assess’ the situation whatever that situation might be! Usually it is a ‘situation’ that requires a stop over or two in a four star hotel for several days and then an hour or so at the sharp end whether it be a children’s hospital in Syria, or a Whale gathering in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 172012
 

Stubbs the Cat has been Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska since he was a Kitten and has seen other political players and lightweights come and go in Alaska, he attributes his successful 15 years in office working as the longest serving Mayor in Alaska to very much a ‘paws on’ way of operating.

Indeed part of Stubbs success as Mayor is that he like to be close to residents and meaning that Stubbs didn’t, when he was first elected Mayor, spend $50,000 on redecorating his office without the approval of city council like a one time mayor, Governor, then dramatically unsuccessful Vice Presidential Candidate*. Oh no Stubbs’ office is humble by comparison, it’s the local general store, Nagley’s Store, where he can be found everyday constantly snacking on Alaskan Snow Crab, his only Mayoral indulgence.

Stubbs the Mayor

In between town business Stubbs receives around 30 to 40 visitors a day who travel miles just to glad paw him and answers messages from his Facebook account, where he has over a 100 more ‘friends he has never met’ than residents of the small township of Talkeetna (900 for those of you who are curious).

Most afternoons as the sun sinks just after midday in the Fall and all day during the Winter Stubbs takes a well earned nap, safe in the knowledge that he is not only the most successful and popular Mayors in the world but is also a shining example of what a true politicians should be!

Cat Mayor 2

A source close to Stubbs’ campaign who wished not to be named because of the sensitivity of the matter was quoted as saying that Stubbs may eventually follow another famous Alaskan politician into a race for the White House, but he continued, Stubbs, who has an IQ a lot higher than that unsuccessful Alaskan hopeful, has much to learn about the world and of course needs to always bear in mind that Canada is not part of the US.

Sarah Palin

*”I’m the Mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.'” –Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor’s office without approval of the city council.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 262010
 

The Cat & Kung Fu Panda.jpg

Ok paws up I have to admit that the picture I have here has been ‘doctored’ and I wasn’t in this year’s parade – your shocked mmh maybe I should have kept my mouth shut but you know Cats cant lie – worst luck we would be so much better at big business and politics if we could.

I have to also admit that the picture wasn’t ‘doctored’ very well – but what can you expect if you outsource things like this to India? – Not a lot is the answer! Just look at the standard of Disney and Dreamworks animation these days!

Still honesty aside for a moment one day I will really be in a Macy’s Parade, I promise, and it will be soon after my movie based on my worldbeatingunputdownable book – I have added world beating bit to my usual word describing my book because someone has stolen my word ‘unputdownable’ shame they didn’t search for a life rather than wonderful new words to steal – sorry where was I?

Oh yes my new movie – well what can I say? I am closing in on a deal which happily is based on the sales of my wonderful book of course; it almost goes without saying is available here Amazon.com and here on my ‘www’ “wickedly wonderful website” –  www.thecatsdiary.com happily at the moment no one has stolen my term for my website – but I suppose it is only a matter of time!

Unfortunately it is not like I am that little rat Mickey Mouse who just announces that he wants to make another comeback and gets a movie deal immediately. I have had to fight tooth and claw to even get into the movie mogul’s offices – well eventually I did it through a synagogue and a Steven Spielberg disguise, of course, but that is another story! I don’t want to get all Sarah Palin on you here!

So the movie of the book will come one day and you know how determined I am to be up there in lights, to say nothing of floating above your heads in a Macy’s Parade on Thanksgiving – there is just one thing that I am a little worried about and that is after the parade – yes I saw Mickey ‘nudging’ a Smurf in a way that should only be demonstrated on dolls but that is not what I meant about being worried about what happens after the parade! I have learned to keep my back against the wall dealing with all of those movie types.

What I am worried about is that in order to take part in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade you have to be able to float so they fill you up with Helium – fair enough! But and it is a great big one, ‘but’ what happens when they let the gas out? Do you make a series of loud inappropriate noises or is it just one long one? If anyone knows or has indeed had large amounts of gas in the past please can you let a worried Cat know exactly what happens – many thanks.

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