Feb 102014
 

This week the royal family hit a new low when the possible future king, if the monarchy last that long, was off playing at what they call “the sport of king’s” or in other words he was blasting away with both barrels at any animal that got in his way, on a wealthy pal’s estate in Spain, although it is reported that he was only looking for wild boar maim or kill.

Hunting wild boar Spain

All of this was happening a day before the royal hypocrite will be participating in a UK Government hosted conference on the illegal wildlife trade along side the other well know small animal murderer, his father charles. The conference will also signal the launch of a campaign jointly run by these two hunters called laughingly “Let’s Unite for Wildlife!” which aims to highlight the devastating impact of poaching animals such as rhinos, and elephants and calls for international action.

I wonder if anyone has sat these two idiots down and explained that the best way to “Unite for Wildlife” is to put their guns away and stop shooting at anything and everything that twitches?

But then I suppose if they can make their campaign “Let’s Unite for Wildlife!” a success it will clear all of the riff raft out of the shooting game and leave it just for the super rich all of which would be far more to the taste of these two cold blooded animal killers.

Prince William Hunting

The royal family regularly visit the sprawling 37,000-acre Finca La Garganta estate to kill things, this time william was accompanied by his ginger haired brother. Because although kate likes to kill things as much as any cold blooded royal this time she couldn’t because happily the royal couple have worked out that the sound of guns blasting here, there and everywhere tends to annoy the nannies because it makes the baby cry and her advisers have warned that public opinion, even the royal loving Brits, would take a dim view of her accompanying the royals for a shooting spree and leaving the baby at home with the nannies so she sloped off to the Caribbean instead to sun herself in a $20,000 a week Caribbean bungalow while the prince was busy shooting wild boar in Spain, all of course paid for by the hard pressed UK tax payer.

It s alright being a royal

Why shiver with the rest of the UK and have to endure the reports of UK citizens losing their jobs and then their homes and the ‘tedious’ reports of so many ordinary working people who are still in work but have to visit food banks to feed their children when you can sun yourself and relax by a pool? Why kate indeed?

Kate middleton

It’s alright being a royal isn’t it kate?

Obviously I have to declare my interest when writing a blog such as this one so that you, dear cuddly reader don’t think I am bias. I honestly believe that the George Washington and his merry men, the Bolsheviks and Oliver Cromwell had the right idea and that is why although I am English I live in a republic!

Oliver Cromwell


About the Author

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The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Feb 022010
 
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I was so sorry to hear from advert filled BBCnews.co.uk website that yesterday or the day before the ‘lovely’ Prince Harry was in a potentially serious accident.

Happily, unlike his colleagues, ‘Henry Charles Albert David Windsor, born 15 September 1984’ as he would appear on any charge sheet, a serving officer in the British Army wasn’t being shot at at the time in Afghanistan where most of his colleagues are in cover waiting for the next idiot with a bomb, prince Harry was in Barbados.

It is such a shame that the British royal family have to fit in so much work around their hobbies and this terrible accident is proof that the lack of time they have to practice their past times is beginning to cause and possibly dangerous accidents.

Fortunately Prince Harry was uninjured in the fall when he landed it is believed on his head, doctors said that the royal family are blessed with remarkably thick skulls due to the constant and avid interbreeding of the pedigree over many years and that Prince Harry will be able to continue enjoying himself soon when the Grouse and Deer shooting season opens.

People close to the prince said that he will be taking more leave from the British Army so that he can recover from this ‘uninjury.’ The average soldier gets five and a bit weeks paid holiday per annum which means that for around 47 weeks of the year they can be shot at, bombed etc., in places such as Afghanistan.

On the other hand Prince Harry, who has taken full advantage of the fun side of what the Army has to offer has learned to ski, fly helicopters and scuba dive and hasn’t been on a full tour of active duty at all during his career in the Army, although it was rumoured that prince Harry was stationed in Afghanistan for 11 weeks.

These rumours are probably at best unreliable because the ‘prince’ would have been a high value target and as such would be a danger to all of the people who served in the army with him.

However the rumours of his ‘selfless service’ to his country do make great PR and the royal PR machine used them to great effect when they they have to cover Harry’s little faux pas, such as his love of dressing up in Nazi army uniforms, calling Muslims “ragheads” and generally demonstrating what a coarse and uneducated mob, the royal family really are!

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Dec 152009
 
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Hello to all of my wonderfully good looking readers from your humble servant The Cat.

I was so very pleased and frankly incredibly touched to hear that you wanted to know what I would like for Christmas. Of course I know that the question is one that is asked of a lot of very famous people and quite rightly we are a very important bunch with mostly fascinating opinions.

Looking down the list of people who have already filled in what they most desire for Christmas was a humbling experience I can tell you and before I let you in on my entry I thought I would share with you some of the hopes and aspirations of some very famous people indeed.

Most of the Politicians at the Copenhagen Climate Conference – want a cleaner, fairer, safer world.

President Obama – wants world peace. Presumably to match his Nobel Prize.

President Putin – wants to reduce nuclear arms.

President Sarkozy – wants to end hunger.

Nelson Mandela – wants to end injustice.

The Pope – wants stop premature infant death.

Elton John – wants more to be done to fight HIV/Aids

Mohammed Ali – wants more understanding between different races.

Prince William of England – wants a nice shiny Aston Martin like his Dad’s!

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It makes you proud that we have such altruistic celebrities and elected representatives. Not one of the ones who have earned their status were as selfish as they are often made out to be.

All of which brings me onto what I would like for Christmas.

The Cat – wants an end to hunting, shooting and fishing for amusement.

I do wish my readers a very Cool Yule and a Happy Christmas and remember if you need any present ideas you still have time to buy my book from Amazon.com it really is very good and that is because I am an inordinately good looking and talented Cat.

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Dec 062009
 
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In conjunction with the announcement from Her Majesty the Queen and indeed prompted to some extent by her stand on the paparazzi taking pictures of her and her family in what she describes as ‘private moments’ I feel that I have to make a stand against some of the gutter press’s most recent outrages.

A ‘private moment’ of mine was splashed all over the press recently by the paparazzi, it was awful, embarrassing and the picture was frankly very unflattering! Surely just because I am famous it doesn’t give anyone the right to take paparazzi pictures of me in my litter tray does it? And I am sure that the Queen would be the first to agree with me!

Having said that I am not like Prince Willie, and that nice little mousey Katie Middleton person, worried about the paparazzi taking pictures of me out shooting small furry animals with my Dad and Step Mother and that is because obviously being a small furry animal I have a ‘thing’ against shooting them in the first place!

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